It’s the finale! The last episode! The end! And after fast-forwarding a full 18 minutes of fluff, we finally get to the first dance. From what I can gather, the very same viewers who thought that keeping Bill around for eleven episodes decide which “star” they would like to see dance freestyle. The picked Amber because she puts the style in “freestyle.” Yes, I slapped myself upside the head after I typed that phrase. Continue reading
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So, what’d I miss? Oh right, some idiots known as The Viewers decided to make Bill dance another week for their own sick amusement while giving America’s favorite former Scientologist Leah Remini the ol’ heave ho. And now it’s the finals, and something called the Judge’s Pick which I guess means the judges pick the dance? Let’s get to the foot stomping, shall we? Continue reading
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So my DVR hates me and I missed the first nine minutes of Top Chef. But from what I can surmise, it was a rotating relay race musical chairs thing Quickfire Challenge and not everybody appreciated the mess they were left by the earlier chefs. Also, someone managed to crisp up bacon in a microwave, which means that microwave must be made of magic. The least favorite dishes were frog legs and a tofu salad. Brian’s duck and mussels is the winning dish and Brian has immunity in the next challenge. Sara is kind of annoyed because she started at that station and set him up for a great dish in her own mind. Continue reading
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This week on Survivor, Vytas tries to play the Aras blindside off as a great strategic move, bro. High five, bro. Then Tina’s all like “I’m not trying to start trouble, but I’m going to start trouble.” And Tina’s daughter, Katie, is all like “Mom you’re embarrassing me, you’re on your own.” Katie said “under the bus”! Drink! Continue reading
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It’s Episode 9, which means by the end of this recap I will have watched eighteen hours of Dancing With The Stars. Thank goodness for fast-forward is all I’m going to say. Continue reading
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Robin’s mother is not coming to her wedding, and she doesn’t know how to stop crying. “Is there like a button or something?” Barney sees this as a challenge. Continue reading
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We’re down to six teams on The Amazing Race and I hate all of them except for the Doctors and maybe one other that I can’t quite remember at the moment because wine. Did I mention that I sent in my audition tape for the next season? Because I did. And it’s good. My team’s racing skills include moonwalking, lip reading, juggling, and reading. We’re pretty much unstoppable. Continue reading
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