The kids are playing underneath the pier, where all of the good debris washes ashore. Louise calls dibs on all hook hands and peg legs just in time for Gene to find something that smells amazing, like a boy’s locker room in spring time. Continue reading
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The kids are watching The Equestranauts in preparation for the Equestra Con, which is a convention for people who love the tiny horsie cartoon. Tina is bringing her toy pony, Chariot. But when they get there, it’s pretty much all men dressed up as colorful ponies. Sort of like your worst nightmare of what you might image a Bronie convention to be like, but everyone is much, much older. Continue reading
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It’s Superbowl Weekend, and Jimmy Pesto’s restaurant across the street is starting early. So is Gene, who is holding all of his bowel movements until halftime, at which point he will make a giant poop. Linda talks some truth to her son. “Gene, you can’t hold your poops in soon, you gotta set them free so they can go down the sewer and find their families and they’re happy!” Continue reading
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There’s a raccoon soap opera in the trash bin as Linda yammers away on the phone to her friend Ginger who has to take her kid to a slumber party. Louise thinks slumber parties are like diarrhea, but Tina says they are the cats pajamas, especially when she wears her cat pajamas. And she knows, because she has been to one-and-a-half slumber parties (she gives half credit to falling asleep at a regular party). Continue reading
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Twenty-five years ago, Linda was in a band called the Ta Tas. They lose a talent show. Badly. For the twenty-five year high school reunion, the organizer is “desperate and out of ideas,” and asks Linda to get the band back together. Like three out of five of Linda’s sexy parts after having kids, the band was ruined after playing at that talent show. In the shower, she writes a song called, “I’ve Got Two Out Of Five Sexy Parts” and decides to get the band back together and go to the reunion. Continue reading by 
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Bob and Linda stay out late for date night, but it was boring and involved breadsticks. Linda’s tired of plopping down at the same place eating soup and salad and breadsticks and fish. She wants some excitement, so she signs up for seaplane flying lessons. Continue reading
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It’s Halloween, and Gene, Louise, and Tina explain to their classmates that they are trick-or-treating as a Chinese dragon with five kids inside, but they’re going to say that there are ten kids inside. You know, to score more candy. Continue reading
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