On this week’s episode of The Amazing Race Brendon and Rachel depart first at 6:13 a.m. and are headed to Switzerland. As they jog away from the pit stop, they try to justify U-Turning the Howells, which, according to everyone else, is unjustifiable. “Who would U-Turn Dave and Conner? They’re cancer survivors, they’re the sweetest people in the whole world, I mean while we’re in Italy they were canonized for crying out loud.” Continue reading
by 
Don is at the movies, smoking. Remember smoking in movie theaters? Trust me, it was a thing. Don calls Dawn. He needs a typewriter ribbon, a ream of onion skin paper and an airmail envelope. He wants Dawn to drop it off but she can’t because she is swamped with her new responsibilities. He really wants her to come over, and he wants her to put his call through to so-and-so, but Dawn is too busy for a former partner who no longer works at the agency. Continue reading
by 
Lana is in labor, and in handcuffs. Maybe Christian Slater knows how to deliver a baby? Oh wait, Archer is a certified doula, so all is good(-ish). Continue reading
by 
The kids are playing underneath the pier, where all of the good debris washes ashore. Louise calls dibs on all hook hands and peg legs just in time for Gene to find something that smells amazing, like a boy’s locker room in spring time. Continue reading
by 
On this week’s The Amazing Race, Brendon and Rachel are the first to leave at 7:30 a.m. and drive to a remote Italian village. The next teams, My Family Is Famous and the Howells, leave about an hour later and work together to get to the destination. The Cowboys depart a few minutes later and remind us that they must use their Express Pass during this leg. Last to hit the road are the Globetrotters and the Cousins. It looks like we’ve got ourselves a race! Continue reading
by 
Don wakes up for another busy day of nowhere to go and nothing to do. He watches “The Little Rascals,” eats some Ritz Crackers, marks his booze levels and watches a cockroach amble into his bedroom. And then, Dawn delivers some papers and office gossip in exchange for money. It’s almost like Don’s a work addict looking for his next fix, and it’s uncomfortable to watch. Continue reading
by 
In this last episode of “Lindsay,” Lohan continues her volunteer work. Only this time, she volunteers to appear in a “Funny Or Die” sketch that, to be perfectly honest, does not look all that funny. Continue reading by 
This episode begins with Lindsay’s Lifetime Channel For Starlets leaving, and Lindsay smoking alone, in a hat, on her living room floor. Just smoking and emoting, emoting and smoking. She is filming herself for the series. Continue reading
by 
The kids are watching The Equestranauts in preparation for the Equestra Con, which is a convention for people who love the tiny horsie cartoon. Tina is bringing her toy pony, Chariot. But when they get there, it’s pretty much all men dressed up as colorful ponies. Sort of like your worst nightmare of what you might image a Bronie convention to be like, but everyone is much, much older. Continue reading
by 
The seventh leg of The Amazing Race begins in Sri Lanka with the Cousins departing at 2:41 p.m. for the “eternal city,” which they must figure out is Rome, Italy. The Cowboys depart one minute later and already know where they are going. Everyone else is within an hour, and Rachel wipes out running to the travel agency that is sort of delightful to watch. Continue reading
by