Sharknado 2: Stop Trying To Make Sharknado Happen

Sharknado2

I never watched Sharknado 1 despite the fever-pitched hype, and yet I find myself glued to the screen as Sharknado 2 unleashes its fishy wrath all over my television. I vowed to change the channel unless Kelley Osborne was killed off quickly, and boom! Problem solved. Now it’s all about that guy from Beverly Hills 90210 and the chick with the mess of a boob job “acting” their way through a script so bad it’s good. Continue reading

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Project Runway Season A Million, Episode One

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“If there’s one thing holding me back, it’s nothing right now.”

I can’t remember which designer spoke those garbles, but does it matter? It’s the perfect reality television competition Statement Of Self. It says, “I have no idea what I’m talking about, but words are important, too.” That overconfident and undereducated delusion is why I keep tuning into Project Runway season after season, crappy design after crappy design. Continue reading

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Brew Dogs: Durango, Colorado

Brew Dogs Druango Colorado

This week the Brew Dogs find themselves in Durango, Colorado,  a one-horse town with a seven-craft-breweries thirst. The cliff dwellings of Mesa Verde National Park are rich in brewing history. Or, none at all. The people of Mesa Verde did not brew beer. But, local Apache tribes brewed corn beer. With no carbonation and a low alcohol content, Native American corn beer doesn’t sound very good at all, but hey. Beer is beer, right? Continue reading

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Aviva and the Angry Leg

Aviva's LegAviva Drescher tossing her shoe (with leg attached) halfway across Le Cirque steals the prize from noted table-flipper Teresa Guidice for the most insane thing ever done in a restaurant by a Real Housewife. Congratulations, Aviva. You are heads and legs above the rest.

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Ladies Of London: The Season Finale Nobody Is Talking About

ladies of london season finale

I missed the first twenty minutes of this show-slash-dreck because my DVR hates me and tuned in just as Caroline bounces Caprice out of her house. The argument has something to do with Noelle and Marissa, but I cannot for the life of me figure out what, or why, or who am I kidding? Nothing these ladies do makes any sense at all so it’s best to just roll with the verbal punches. Continue reading

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Ladies Of London: Dinner Party Etiquette 101

ladies of london recap 7

Caroline visits Annabelle on her near-death bed. Annabelle’s “I’m so weak and can’t get out of bed” yet her makeup is flawlessly effortless, as is her completely wrinkle-free grey heathered t-shirt. Caroline calls her incredible for checking herself out of the hospital and taking care of herself at home, but I believe the word she was looking for is stupid. Or maybe overly dramatic? No, that’s two words. Definitely just stupid. Continue reading

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