I missed the first twenty minutes of this show-slash-dreck because my DVR hates me and tuned in just as Caroline bounces Caprice out of her house. The argument has something to do with Noelle and Marissa, but I cannot for the life of me figure out what, or why, or who am I kidding? Nothing these ladies do makes any sense at all so it’s best to just roll with the verbal punches. Continue reading →

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Caroline visits Annabelle on her near-death bed. Annabelle’s “I’m so weak and can’t get out of bed” yet her makeup is flawlessly effortless, as is her completely wrinkle-free grey heathered t-shirt. Caroline calls her incredible for checking herself out of the hospital and taking care of herself at home, but I believe the word she was looking for is stupid. Or maybe overly dramatic? No, that’s two words. Definitely just stupid. Continue reading →

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Marissa and her friend Julie (who is going to be a lady despite her manly features) are yogaing in Marissa’s yoga space. Not a room—a space. There’s a difference, and the difference is one of those if-you-have-to-ask-you-can’t-afford things. I suspect they may be drunk, but whatever. It’s noon somewhere! Continue reading →

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This is the episode where we must pretend there is a huge battle brewing between Juliet and Annabelle over The Panty Party Incident. But it’s really not much of anything, because Americans are famous for making something out of nothing. So, play along and enjoy the faux fight. Continue reading →

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Happy Fourth Of July! (I know it’s only June, but shhh! Just play along.) What kind of idiot celebrates America’s independence from England in England? These kinds… Continue reading →

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Marissa owns a restaurant with her husband, which makes her working class. Juliet deems the restaurant “cute” and orders a fish pie and a white wine spritzer, which makes her déclassé. They are preparing for The Serpentine, a big and British fahhhncy pahhhty. Oh I do so love a pahhhty. Continue reading →

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