This is the episode where we must pretend there is a huge battle brewing between Juliet and Annabelle over The Panty Party Incident. But it’s really not much of anything, because Americans are famous for making something out of nothing. So, play along and enjoy the faux fight.
Caprice is busy getting prettified to the extent it’s even possible by a crew from a magazine I’ve never heard of before. But all Caprice can think about is poor, waif-like Annabelle, who she cannot reach by phone, telex, or carrier pigeon. And here I thought those two were besties.
Equally tragic is Juliet, who preorders the classiest white wine spritzer in all of England so that it will be waiting for her when she arrives at the restaurant. It’s almost like Juliet is London’s version of Ramona Singer. While enjoying her beverage, Caroline telephones to admonish Juliet for yelling like a lunatic on the street, which, note to self, is so not British. I’m learning so much from this show!
Juliet hosts a hat party to sort out British hat etiquette for the Sandown Race, which is yet another horsie event. The hats are all pink and purple, but otherwise lovely. Noelle, Marissa, Caroline, Caprice, and one of Caprice’s hangers-on attend. Caroline is decidedly anti-chapeau and won’t even try one on. Caprice also just doesn’t give a damn about hats and bails out early which is only partially rude.
Noticeably absent from Hatfest 2014 is Annabelle. She is busily “working a show” for the first time in forever. It’s a fashion show in an underground tunnel, and I’m entirely unclear on what work Annabelle is actually doing, really. She says that she’s helping with the press, models, “backstage stuff,” so I suppose asking a model in clearly uncomfortable shoes, “how’s walking in the shoes?” without offering a better solution like, for instance, crawling, is work. Liberally dispensing air kisses also counts as work these days. Before the show begins, Annabelle proclaims, “It’s so ghetto, I love it.” Nice, Annabelle. Keeping it classy.
Caroline takes Caprice baby shopping (not for an actual baby, but for baby accessories). They bond like oil and vinegar, so Caroline offers to throw Caprice a baby shower. The problem is, Caroline lives a full half an hour outside of London, which is totally inconvenient for Caprice’s friends. Which, to be fair, I can totally understand. New Jersey is only a half an hour outside of New York, but you won’t catch me at a party in Hoboken.
The ladies are off to the races in their fancy hats, except for Caprice and Noelle who aren’t doing hats. Caprice rehashes The Panty Party Incident for the millionth time in the confines of a crowded limousine. That does not go over so good, so she hugs it out with Juliet once they reach their destination, while simultaneously declaring Annabelle to be one of her best friends. Juliet is wearing a pretty pink floral number, but it’s cut too girly for her age. Sorry, but it’s true. She is about ten years past the point where a baby dollish dress is flattering. Noelle, on the other hand, looks stunning in an autumn watercolor print and a perfectly arranged messy bun that borders on U.F.O. while still looking natural. Well, it’s nice to see that the ladies can sometimes look like ladies.
Next week the ladies go to an estate to have sandwiches.
Reprinted from HauteTalk.comby