It’s Superbowl Weekend, and Jimmy Pesto’s restaurant across the street is starting early. So is Gene, who is holding all of his bowel movements until halftime, at which point he will make a giant poop. Linda talks some truth to her son. “Gene, you can’t hold your poops in soon, you gotta set them free so they can go down the sewer and find their families and they’re happy!”

Jimmy Pesto stops by Bob’s Burgers to mock Bob’s tiny television and cooking booties. Bob then claims to have a big plan to pack the restaurant for Superbowl Sunday which is going to destroy Jimmy Pesto. But he’s got nothing, so he goes to the supermarket to buy ingredients for Linda’s zucchini weenie paninis. While driving, he gets a (really bad) brilliant idea—a bi-county commercial during the game. Tina didn’t realize their county was bi, but “good for us.” Linda is lukewarm on the idea, until Bob promises to let her sing.

During brainstorming, a celebrity endorsement is suggested but shot down in favor of a commercial about the family. Louise comes up with the tag line—come meet our family and let us “meat” you. Gene adds a background track on the Casio, and Linda busts out a mediocre jingle. Then Tina brings everyone back to reality. “Not to be Missy Pissy, but how are we going to make the commercial in just four days?” Bob calls in Randy to make the commercial, even though Randy is a complete idiot. Louise explains that this is a point-and-shoot operation, “I point, and you shoot.”

Tina tries out her sexy hair flip but Louse tells her to stick to the script because she can “weird it up in the mirror” whenever. There’s also a banner, Gene in a hamburger outfit squirting mustard out of his crotch, and Bob realizes they’re really, really, really screwed.

Bob calls in Teddy’s former NFL player friend, Sandy “Can-Can” Frye, who always did the can-can when he made a touchdown. But this means taking the family out of the commercial. This pisses off Louise, who wants her name off of the commercial and off of her name, so she will now go by Louise Louise.

“Why do you eat at Bob’s Burgers, Sandy?” “Because your burgers go great with Frye.” That’s a wrap! All of that acting made Sandy hungry, but Bob doesn’t have jalapeno poppers or mozzarella fries, so he leaves hungry yet oddly happy. Right before kickoff, the commercial airs. It’s…adequate. But it totally cuts out the family and Linda’s song, and that pisses them off, so they vow to do the can-can until they die since it’s all they “can-can do from now on” since it’s all Bob wants anyway.

And then it happens. Sandy appears in a commercial for Jimmy Pesto’s pizza, and that’s Bob’s breaking point. Bob storms across the street to settle up with Pesto, and despite ripping the cables out of the giant television, nobody cares about Bob’s wrath. The only thing that can save them is Gene. His “butt water broke,” so it’s time to set his poop free. He uses Jimmy Pesto’s bathroom and flushes his “Superbowl,” but “he’s a fighter, he’s a fighter, we have to move.” The bathroom overflows, the restaurant clears out, and Bob’s Burgers gets three new customers.

Reprinted from SurvivingCollege.com

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