The Amazing Race, Episode 6: Speed Dating is the Worst

the amazing race episode six speed dating is the worst date challenge

We’re down to six teams on The Amazing Race and I hate all of them except for the Doctors and maybe one other that I can’t quite remember at the moment because wine. Did I mention that I sent in my audition tape for the next season? Because I did. And it’s good. My team’s racing skills include moonwalking, lip reading, juggling, and reading. We’re pretty much unstoppable.

Anyway, the teams start out this leg in Vienna, Austria. The Doctors head out first at 12:03 p.m. and learn that they are off to Abu Dhabi and will receive their next clue at the Sheikh Zayed Mosque. The Cousins grab the last seats on a flight that arrives at 5:50 a.m., which is ten minutes earlier than everyone else. But, they’re on a different flight from the other five teams and ten minutes can slip away on the tarmac real fast so it’s a risk.

The Cousins’ flight arrives on top and they are male and speak a bit of Arabic so they are already in better shape than the rest of the teams. The Mosque is stunning and they easily find their clue which sends teams to the Irani Souk. As the Cousins are leaving, the other teams are first arriving.

Detour! Sort It out or Sew It Up. In Sort It Out, teams must search through a variety of dates, pick out the right ones, and assemble and elaborate display. In Sew It Up, teams must assemble a traditional fishing net. Sew It Up is the quicker task, I’m just saying. The Cousins choose Sort It Out with the LaLas, the Golddiggers, and I Hate You Too and the Doctors and the Massholes made the right choice and went with Sew It Up.

I Hate You Too are abusing each other more than usual, and everyone except the Golddiggers miss the second batch of dates that are pretty much in plain sight. The Cousins eventually figure out that they’re using the wrong dates and finish the task first. Over at the fishing nets, the Doctors had some assembly issues and everyone sweat about fifteen gallons each. The Massholes finished first and the Doctors considered using their Express Pass but decided to power through instead. Good choice because they finished while the other teams were still struggling with their dates. See? I told you it was the easier task. I’ve got this game locked up.

The next clue sends teams to the Al Bandar Marina where they will take a yacht to a racetrack. The Massholes and the Cousins catch the first yacht, the Doctors get the second, and the LaLas and I Hate You Too get on the third. Trailing behind are the Golddiggers who have no idea why the yacht wouldn’t wait for pretty rich girls like them.

Roadblock! One member of each team must repel off of a building and onto a racetrack. Then they will be driven around the circuit at, like, a million kilometers per hour and keep on the lookout for the name and time of the fastest racer on the side of the road. Or something like that. If you get it wrong, you have to go around again.

the amazing race episode six speed dating is the worst racing detour

The Cousins finish the Roadblock first and check as Team Number One followed by the Massholes and the Doctors. For everyone else, it’s failure after failure after failure. I think the LaLas must’ve gone around that track about a billion million times, and the Golddiggers about a trillion more. “Ralph Furley, 203.215?” No, go around again. “Ned Flanders, 8431.5$&?” Those aren’t even numbers. Around again.

I Hate You Too eventually finished as Team Number Four, and after remembering all of six numbers at the same time, the LaLas were able to check in as Team Number Five. That means the Golddiggers are the last team to arrive, but Phil tells them the good news that this is a non-elimination leg and they are still in the race. Damn. I was looking forward to jettisoning some dead weight.

Next week, a Double U-Turn and teams find themselves alone on the race course.

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