“Hey y’all, I’m Paula Deen and I’m probably most know for cooking.” Or, being a virulent racist. Continue reading
byCategory Archives: DWTS
Dancing With The Stars Season 17 Finale
It’s the finale! The last episode! The end! And after fast-forwarding a full 18 minutes of fluff, we finally get to the first dance. From what I can gather, the very same viewers who thought that keeping Bill around for eleven episodes decide which “star” they would like to see dance freestyle. The picked Amber because she puts the style in “freestyle.” Yes, I slapped myself upside the head after I typed that phrase. Continue reading
Dancing With The Stars Season 17, Episode 11
So, what’d I miss? Oh right, some idiots known as The Viewers decided to make Bill dance another week for their own sick amusement while giving America’s favorite former Scientologist Leah Remini the ol’ heave ho. And now it’s the finals, and something called the Judge’s Pick which I guess means the judges pick the dance? Let’s get to the foot stomping, shall we? Continue reading
byDancing With The Stars, Season 17, Week 9
It’s Episode 9, which means by the end of this recap I will have watched eighteen hours of Dancing With The Stars. Thank goodness for fast-forward is all I’m going to say. Continue reading
Dancing With The Stars, Season 17, Week 8
It’s our first Snooki-free episode of Dancing With The Stars, and it appears that she has been replaced with an autotuned version of Cher as a guest judge. Cher looks amazing. How is that even possible? She’s, like, older than Madonna. Continue reading
Dancing With the Stars, Season 17, Week 7
We’re back, and we’re dancier than ever with a promise of guest judge and legend Cher next week. To start things off we’ve got Elizabeth Berkley and Val something-or-other over-emoting as they dance what I assume is some sort of hand jive but turns out to be ballroom if that gives you any idea of how ridiculous this is. She’s a really lovely dancer, but she seems like an exhausting human. Spin spin spin, limbs limbs limbs, and the judges gush gush gush for a total of 27 points. Continue reading
byDancing With the Stars, Season 17, Week 6
Dancing With the Stars, Season 17, Week 5
Before anyone even taps a toe, we learn that one of the women is going home tonight based only on the viewer votes. So good luck, ladies! Continue reading
byDancing With the Stars, Season 17, Week 4
So Bill Nye The Science Guy lost Dancing With The Stars, but hopefully he gained back a little bit of dignity. Continue reading
byDancing With the Stars, Season 17, Week 3
It’s Hollywood Night! Whoo! We’re excited about this, right? I can’t tell anymore because sparkles! Lights! I’m so distracted! The only thing bringing me down is an injured Bill Nye, may not be able to perform. Continue reading