The Project Runway All Stars designers meet at Jay-Z’s club which, despite Alyssa Milano’s statements to the contrary, is not New York City’s hottest night spot. They’re supposed to watch the bartender mix drinks and somehow that will inspire cocktail dress sketching. This is stupid because the designers are drunk-sketching things that are possibly in an alternate universe loosely related to their chosen liquids. Can we go to Mood, please? Continue reading
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Padma barges in on breakfast and brings a guest, John Besh, and the words nobody ever wants to hear on Top Chef: Please pack an overnight bag. It’s a day in the country, and that country is a farm. It’s where the Creole tomato is grown, which are pretty much just like the beefsteak tomato. Continue reading
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It’s the last Survivor redemption island duel, and it’s a classic—hang onto a stick for as long as you can. John slips first and decides to remove his shoes without realizing that his socks are sweaty, slippery synthetic. He falls off of the stick, embarrassing all men everywhere. Then there were two Lauras on a stick, and the winning Laura was the one who is not Rupert’s wife. After stick clinging, the tribes SPOILER ALERT merged. Continue reading
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It’s our first Snooki-free episode of Dancing With The Stars, and it appears that she has been replaced with an autotuned version of Cher as a guest judge. Cher looks amazing. How is that even possible? She’s, like, older than Madonna. Continue reading
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Bob and Linda stay out late for date night, but it was boring and involved breadsticks. Linda’s tired of plopping down at the same place eating soup and salad and breadsticks and fish. She wants some excitement, so she signs up for seaplane flying lessons. Continue reading
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This week on The Amazing Race, teams start right where they left off, on a pier in Poland. They will travel by train to Vienna, Austria and go to the costume department of the Opera House to receive their next clue. I Hate You Too leaves first and waits for the Massholes so they can work together. Everyone except the LaLas and the Cousins make it onto the first train, but they all meet up for a connection in Warsaw. Continue reading
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Oh thank gawd LuLu Johnson, layabout and moocher offer of mother and designer Betsey Johnson, is alright. She happened to be in LAX when a shooter started shooting, but don’t panic! She’s okay! Sort of. She needs help, people! I mean look at that carpeting she’s lying on, it’s what, negative twelve thread count? And I’ll bet the line at Starbucks is so long that her assistant won’t be back with her venti no foam skinny iced chai latte for at least a half hour. Won’t someone think of the (D-list) celebrities?
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And we’re back with another episode of Million Dollar Shoppers. Hi Tayler! Hi Gregg! I see you’re off to Trump Building to meet a new client, Barbara, from Eastern Europe. Barbara needs a special dress for a Young New Yorkers of the Philharmonic event (young? Barbara, honey, no), and it better be good or else she will be very mad and there will be consequences. Hooker heels, bright and bold, chunky jewelry, and do not talk about budget. There is budget, but it is none of your business. You give me options, I give you agita, yikes. Easy peasy nice and breezy Tayler and Gregg are going to get eaten alive by this woman. Continue reading
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