Hannah is chopping off Adam’s hair when he gets a call from his sister, Caroline. Her boyfriend kicked her out of the car on the side of a highway and Hannah invites her to stay in their spare room. Let me explain the concept of a spare room in New York City. If you’re twenty-four years old, spare rooms are not a part of your vocabulary. This is especially so for young people who work in coffee shops and other entry-level jobs. Heck, bedrooms don’t even exist. If this show was anywhere close to reality, Hannah would be living in a cardboard box underneath a bridge. And not a good bridge. It’d be, like, the Kosciuszko Bridge. Continue reading
byCategory Archives: Girls
Girls Season 3 Premiere: Females Only & Truth or Dare
Episode 1: Females Only
Hannah is sill working in the coffee shop, stacking brownies and talking very deep thoughts with Ray. Is that Adam’s ex-girlfriend, Natalia? Why yes, yes it is Adam’s ex-girlfriend, Natalia. She needs closure. “This is Hannah? This is Hannah….you should just enjoy your urine-soaked life.” Well, that was fun. And fairly accurate. Continue reading
byGirls Episode 9: We’re Even
Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
Adam took his new girlfriend, Natalia, to a chick flick. It worked, because she then informed him that “I’m ready to have sex now.” Continue reading
Girls Episode 8: You’re Fine, You’re Fine, You’re Fine
Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
Adam? I thought we were rid of him. But I suppose there’s never any getting rid of someone like Adam. He’s like a MySpace page, or herpes. And he just drank what I’m pretty sure is his own urine. Continue reading
Girls Episode 7: Video Games And Rabbit Stew
Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
Hannah and Jessa are out in Manitou, which is about an hour and a half outside of New York City (aka “the middle of nowhere”), waiting for her estranged father to pick them up from the train station. Continue reading
byGirls Episode 6: Devil Dogs and Hostess Heartbreaks
Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
Hannah is meeting with a writer about her essays. He tries to explain the business to her in terms of high and low—there’s the famous author who dips down into the muck of writing commentary about things that happen in the world, and then there are essayists who rise up out of the filth to the world of e-books. Hannah is the latter of the two, and she is writing an e-book. Continue reading
Girls Episode 5: Garbage
Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
Hannah is working with Ray at Grumpy’s (and wearing her umpteenth unflattering shorts jumper) and comes up with a new word: Sexit. It’s when you leaving a party or another public event to have sex, and you exit in a sexy way. Unfortunately, Urban Dictionary defines “Sexit” as “making a hasty exit whilst in the act of intercourse.” Sorry, Hannah. You gotta be quick with these things. Continue reading
Girls Episode 4: Dinner’s Ready!
Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
This week is all about dinner parties, and how quickly they can unravel. Continue reading
Girls Episode 3: Comfort Zones and Consolation Prizes
Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
Last we left our earnest ingénues, Adam was off to the pokey and Hannah was spewing half-hearted apologies in his general direction. But this week we get a whole new Hannah wearing her least frumpy outfit for an interview at “Jazzhate,” a website about…the inappropriate uses of jazz hands? Whatever the case, it’s a writing gig and she’s hired. Continue reading
Girls Episode 2: Love Triangles And Sex Hexagons
Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
Where were we? Right. Hannah’s gay-best-friend-turned-roommate, Elijah, had very brief and unpleasant sex with Hannah’s former-best-friend-and-former-roommate, Marnie. And for some reason, Elijah’s boyfriend, George, is pissed. Elijah, however, doesn’t understand why his little foray into ladybits doesn’t sit well with George. Meanwhile, Hannah is in her bedroom exercising in an outfit that nobody should own. Continue reading