Sadly, the New World is a Boring, Terrible World


Niall, so sexy on Eureka, so *egh* here. Despite the dinosaur

I love the SyFy channel so much. I mean crazy, adolescent girl-crush much. I tolerated their rebranding from SciFi, I watch all of their new shows (including Caprica, which was painful despite that delicious glass of rosé, Eric Stoltz, who I haven’t stopped crushing on since Some Kind of Wonderful, sigh). Continue reading

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Below Deck, Terrible on the Seas


Adrienne and one of their douchier guests. Ewwww! Cooties!

In my fantasy life, I win the lottery and proceed to an existence that is very Downton Abbey – with me in the Countess position, only younger and more empathetic of course. In our real 21st Century world, it would probably bear more resemblance to the guest roles on Below Deck. This is Bravo’s foray into the downstairs world of Upstairs, Downstairs and it is REAL. Continue reading

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Defiance: So Terrible, It Has Albinos

Defiance - Season 1

Lindsay, I mean Irisa and Dick, I mean Jeb, mix it up

I am a sucker for the SyFy network. For years they have satisfied my barely-concealed fangirl with shows like Stargate, Stargate Atlantis, Battlestar Galactica, etc. etc. etc. I do love me a good alien. Continue reading

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Bunheads: The Kind of Terrible I Love

Bunheads-Cast-Dancers-3This picture is deceptive. I don’t know why they put Sutton Foster in that stupid shirt.

Oh Bunheads, why do I love you so? Is it because, despite being an ABCFamily show, there is plentiful adult beverage consumption? Is it the super-quick pitter-patter of clever words? Is it Sutton Foster and her deeply ironic, non-diva, non-bubbly, but wonderfully, quixotically funny character? Continue reading

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Catfish: Terrible and Tasty


Soooo…. In your profile you are white, and weigh 100 lbs? And you think the guy you met online is who he says he is? Okkkkaaaaayyy…. 

Catfish, I assume, refers to bottom dwellers, so obviously it is the perfect name for an MTV show about people who meet (romantically?) online and then attempt to meet in real life. The dynamic is that at least one of the people is faking who they are. Apparently the ‘host’ Yaniv “Nev” Schulman made a documentary film about his own failed? deceptive? fraudulent? online relationship and has now turned the concept into a series.

Continue reading

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The Vampire Diaries: Too Terrible to Die

So pretty. So very, very pretty.

The first time I watched The Vampire Diaries, I was like “what is this crap?” There were teenagers and vampires literally reading ALOUD from their diaries.

Her: Dear Diary, I met him today, he is so amazing! Too bad my parents just died and I am filled with angst.

Him: Dear Diary, she smells so good, I want to eat her, I love her. Too bad I have so many secrets.

Oh, sweet bebe jesus it was awful. All I could think was “is it Twilight? Is it My So Called Life? WTF is it?”

But I stuck with it. Continue reading

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Arrow: Terribly Green, but Also Shirtless

Are two shirtless posts in a row too much? Oh well, no existential angst here.

I started this show a couple of episodes into the season, so I may be missing some of the nuances here, maybe some complex and deeply subtle storytelling but, I really don’t think so.

Arrow is the story of Oliver Queen. Stranded on an island for 5 years after the death of his father (and girlfriend’s sister!) in a yachting accident – of all things – he has returned to the city of his birth to right the wrongs of the world. Following a laundry list of villains left to him by his dear old dad, naturally.

Oh, so much fertile ground for Terrible Television and we haven’t even gotten to the crux of it – his weapon of choice is a BOW AND ARROW! I think I’ll poor me a little cava (like champagne! Only cheaper!) and tune in. Continue reading

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Guys With Kids: Terrible News

We’ve come so far from this moment of extreme stupidity

I am sorry to say that Guys with Kids has jumped the Terrible Television shark and become, dare I say it, not Terrible. In fact, my husband spent a significant portion of last night’s episode laughing his proverbial, but very real, ass off. And, don’t tell him I said this, but he wasn’t wrong. It was funny.

So RIP, Guys with Kids Parental Fail, and long live Guys with Kids Not A Terrible Show. I’m off to drown my sorrows in an un-oaked chardonnay. Perhaps the acidity will burn away the bitter taste in my mouth.

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Ben & Kate: Bring on the Mommyjuice

Oh yeah baby, pour me some of that Veronique

So I got home from my first ever parent/teacher conference, kicked out our superlative nanny, poured a glass of wine and turned on the tube. Lo and behold! A terrible show I’ve never seen before. Ben & Kate. Continue reading

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