On this week’s Survivor, after Tribal Council, the beauty tribe regroups. Morgan is upset that Jeremiah changed his mind to vote out Brice. Who’s Jeremiah? Is he new? Continue reading
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More pounds of cocaine lost to Pam, but at least Lana got in some practice feeding a baby. Mallory gives Lana some real talk about how dreadful babies can be, and Cherlene clarifies that all babies should be drowned. Lana concludes that Archer has been trying to hard, but Mallory has a point. How hard is it to sell two thousand measly pounds of cocaine? Make that one thousand seven hundred and eighteen pounds of cocaine, thanks to Pam’s…appetite. Continue reading
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The show begins four days after Lindsay Lohan completed ninety days of court-ordered rehab. Oprah starts out by greeting her backstage and finding out what she wants out of this interview. “Just to be…honest and open, you know, just me. Yeah.” And we all know that when Lindsay says she’s speaking the truth, she is speaking the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Mmm hmm. Continue reading
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Hannah’s idea of succeeding at her new job is to get hammered with her coworkers, make out with one of her bosses, and vomit on herself before passing out and being taken to a coworker’s apartment to vomit some more. She ends up might-as-well-be naked in the tub, then wrapped in flannel in his bed. Morning is confusing. Continue reading
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The brains of the operation go back to camp with the realization that they forgot to vote out the crazy chick who burned up all of their rice. Over at the brawn camp, Tony confesses to Sarah that he’s a cop too, they swear on their badges, and Cops ’R Us is born. Continue reading
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Where were we? Oh right, Cherlene’s country western career is booming, and Archer’s “blowing this jug” in his bathrobe and undies. Ugh. Mallory’s face mask is frightening. She suggests Lana get a wet nurse, and I just threw up, violently. Continue reading
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