Real Housewives of New Jersey Episode 10: Best Frenemies Forever

joe-gorga-sizzle-tan

Joe Gorga is digging a pit using “the good dirt,” and..is that a leg sticking out of the ground? No matter. Joe Gorga and Melissa are going to be on a billboard for Shnizzle Tan, which is hilarious since I’m not sure who would voluntarily turn their skin that particular shade of Real Housewives Orange. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Episode 8: Scum One, Scum All

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Last week ended with Joe Gorga using his head as a battering ram into Joe Giudice’s voluminous gut because Joe Gorga called Teresa “scum.” This week isn’t much better. “Teresa, help your brother!” Teresa runs out of the room yelling, “Call the cops!” Someone says, “He’s biting my nuts,” elbows are being thrown, for some reason Melissa rushes over to put Joe Gorga’s hat back on his thick head. Then, the women start shrieking at each other while team builders Steve and Stephanie silently circle the room, waiting for an opportunity to introduce trust exercises. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 7: When Joes Collide

Real Housewives New Jersey Retreat

The show opens with Melissa teaching her three children how to dance like strippers as she and Joe Gorga pack for the big retreat. Joe Gorga only wants to go so that he can confront Teresa, which seems like a totally healthy way to approach family counseling. Kathy and Rich have no idea why they were even invited in the first place, so they pack extra booze. The only person who seems to really want to be there is Rosie, so good on her. Continue reading

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