It’s morning with Mr. and Mrs. Zoe, and their bedroom is about as staged as a high school production of Hello, Dolly! The fun starts when Roger tells Rachel that she’s too old to bake another baby, and Rachel tells Roger to suck it. Ah, true love. Continue reading
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OMG, OMG, did Rachel Zoe just claim that she’s not 40? Because she’s got to be approaching 50. Or at least her face is approaching 50. But her 30s? No. Her 30s are but a distant memory, like black Prada backpacks or Vamp nail polish. Continue reading
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Last week, Rachel infested my beloved New York City. This week, she has retreated back into the warm embrace of Los Angeles. Continue reading
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Rachel Zoe helps everyone get dressed because her “purpose in life is to dress everybody,” and buttons are confusing for people who do not have a doctorate in styling. Continue reading
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Rachel Zoe is frustrated that her sequined maxi skirts didn’t sell in the United States, so she goes to Paris and tries to pawn them off on Europeans. Her husband, Roger, has red dots all over his body. Does he have bedbugs? I hope he has bedbugs. Or, as they say in Paris, le cooties. Continue reading
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Lots of people told Rachel Zoe that they loved her runway show. So many, in fact, that she found two positive reviews in honest-to-goodness publications. The problem is, people don’t like her clothes, like, to wear. Continue reading
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Last season, Rachel Zoe, a grizzled piece of burnt bacon, squirted a human out of her nether regions. This season, in addition to slapping oversized baubles and gewgaws on emaciated fameballs and giving her assistant an ulcer, Rachel’s literally making her own clothes. I mean she’s not sewing or anything, but still. This is maj. Continue reading
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