Episode 7: “Move Out Or Move On”
The ladies flip through hundreds of photos of themselves, like a giant mirrored funhouse. Then they get a call from Self Magazine (do people still read those things?) about leading a challenge to drop ten pounds. And, they’re doing the 2013 spring campaign for Oakley, which…do you have a time machine? Because I don’t have a time machine. Continue reading
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Episode 5: “Two’s Company but Three’s a Crowd”
The girls are filming on the beach, and it’s a very professional operation. There’s lots of lipstick, and Karena’s foundation for her one-on-one interviews is totally the wrong color because it’s impossible to replicate the orange glow of tanning cream. Also, when Karena’s under stress, she makes cat noises. Which is weird, because when my cat is under stress, she makes Karena noises. And she wonders why she’s single…. Continue reading
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Katrina and Karena are off to Maui to film Beach Babe Number Two: The Legend of Poop. Katrina must wear a neck brace on camera because sadface. And if Katrina has to wear one, then Karena has to wear one, too. That’s how seriously they are taking this “injury.” Continue reading
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Karena hasn’t dated in a long time because nobody wants to be benchpressed by their girlfriend. Also, she has no game. And next week, the girls are off to Hawaii to film a DVD for the Exercise Tape Historical Museum. They claim to have sold 30,000 units last year, which, what? Who buys exercise DVDs? Did a third-world country buy them in bulk? Perhaps someone is using them for an art installation? Aaaand a small dog pees on the rug. How appropriate. Continue reading
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Katrina and Karena are two interchangeable humans who started an exercise empire by making videos on the beach. That has turned into a multi-bazillion dollar business, so says Karena. Or Katrina. The girls sell diet plans, DVDs, and Purrfect Fit Protein Powders. In other words, crap. Continue reading
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