Toned Up: Beach Babe or Bust

Toned Up Katrina Karena

Karena hasn’t dated in a long time because nobody wants to be benchpressed by their girlfriend. Also, she has no game. And next week, the girls are off to Hawaii to film a DVD for the Exercise Tape Historical Museum. They claim to have sold 30,000 units last year, which, what? Who buys exercise DVDs? Did a third-world country buy them in bulk? Perhaps someone is using them for an art installation? Aaaand a small dog pees on the rug. How appropriate. 

The girls wear matching outfits to the gym and work their cores. “Let’s do like a really good booty circuit.” Is there anything more boring than watching other people exercise? I mean aside from watching this spot of paint dry.

Back at the apartment, Brian invites bros over to cook steak, drink booze, and complain about living with two women. Katrina and Karena get home and Karena starts flirting with one of the bros whose hair is a flowing mane of Michael Bolton. I can’t tell if the attraction is mutual because I don’t understand SoCal mating rituals.

Katrina and Brian plan their wedding. Well, it’s kind of more like Katrina and Karena planning a wedding. Then, Brian wants to know when Karena is moving out. Awkward? Very. She kind of thought the threesome would last forever, so Brian needs to sack up and Karena needs to pack up.

Yoga time, but Katrina’s neck has an owwie and it makes her have the sads. She’s worried about Hawaii and her ability to prance on the beach in total comfort. She visits her doctor who looks like someone put Ron Howard on the rack and set it to Stretch Armstrong. Turns out her head is too big for her neck, so her body gets tired holding up her meatstick. The doctor popped a neck brace on her, paired with dark sunglasses. Karena immediately begins coloring on the neck brace because she is twelve and this is summer camp.

Next week, it’s off to Maui to make a DVD.

Reprinted from BiteSizeWellness.com

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