Survivor S. 29 Ep. 2: Method To This Madness

John Rocker SurvivorIt’s blue versus yellowish-orange, loved one versus mostly related, and person rotting on a beach in Nicaragua versus person rotting on a slightly different beach in Nicaragua.

So what’s new? Well, Reed can stretch his leg over his head and some other dude likes to bench press driftwood. Not to be outdone, this other guy does push-ups off of a log. Oh, and the very important to the point of being essential fire making flint is missing.

At the Reward Challenge, it’s a patented Loved Ones Showdown with a ball balancing obstacle course and bonus skee ball. I guess that’s like a Showcase Showdown, only the reward is fishing gear and a bit of food instead of a dinette set and a refrigerator. Horrible Person John Rocker and his “model” girlfriend, Julie, do the challenge and he either lets her win, or he’s ironically bad with balls. Instead of congratulating her, he grouses that “I just got beat by a girl.” Julie, honey, you can probably do a bit better than this loser. Anyway, meathead heads off to Exile Island with Jeremy from the other tribe.

Then, the blue team asks Jeff Probst if they can trade the beans from their reward for flint. Jeff notes the irony of having two firemen in their tribe. And, he’s a shrewd negotiator and counters with an offer of flint for the beans plus all of their fishing gear. The tribe reluctantly agrees. I’m guessing they’re going to keep a close eye on that new flint.

John Rocker, noted sad excuse for a man, wears mom jeans.

The Immunity Challenge is Rock ’Em Sock ’Emrobots on a floating platform. One point for the yellowish-orange tribe. Two brothers fight like mom’s not looking and it’s one point for the blue team. One more for the yellowish-orange team before a massive girl fight between Natalie and Val, with Natalie triumphant to tie up the game at two. Two guys named John head butt each other for a while until former baseball player John ends up in the water for one more point for the blue team. Then, it’s a mother-daughter matchup…and Baylor’s mother splits Baylor’s lip so she knocks her mother into the water and ties the game. Josh and Reed show their show moves and it’s one more point for the blue team. Some old guy ties the game and it’s the final match with two bikini-clad women fighting for immunity. And it’s a hard-fought win for the blue team, which sends the yellowish-orange team back to Tribal Council.

Dammit, terrible person John Rocker finds an Immunity Idol. He hatches some bizarre scheme where he tries to save Val because of a promise he made to Jeremy at Exile Island wherein Jeremy would keep Julie safe and John would keep Val safe. Anyway, the vote is being split between Val and Baylor. But later on it is noticed that John and Val took a little walk on the beach together, so who knows.

Tribal Council is boring except for a few words between Val and Baylor. The votes are Val, Baylor, Val, Baylor, Val, Baylor, Baylor, Val, and it’s a tie. In the revote, it’s either Val or Baylor. Sad excuse for a human John Rocker flips and votes for Val and she becomes the second person voted out of the tribe. I can’t wait until she gets home and Googles John Rocker.

Next week, everyone hears all about John Rocker’s past and it makes Hulk smashy angry.

Reprinted from


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