Last week it was all about teams, and this week it’s all about Heidi! And teams. But mostly Heidi! She made a Surprise! smell, and now she needs to cover it up with a commercial and a launch party. Each team will make four outfits for her ad campaign and two outfits for her press events. The inspiration for the scent is pink and gold and black, which Heidi describes as feminine but hard, sexy but not slutty. As an added bonus, Heidi brings the designers The Book of Heidi. After nearly two decades of modeling, a successful television show, and an unsuccessful celebrity marriage, Heidi Klum may have just achieved overexposure.

Cindy is trying to sketch a sexy dress, but it looks about as sexy as an Ann Taylor Loft twinset. Layana and Kate accidentally draw the same dress so they decided to work together. Joseph Aaron is sketching an outfit for a crazy cat lady that he’s going to work on with a very reluctant Amanda. Wind Chime is making leather mesh and it sounds insane, but in a good way.

When Tim checks in on the Dream Team, Blondie starts off the critique with a sketch of a ballerina pinky flowy gown, but has no actual dress to show. TuTu is inspired by a rose petal. Samantha is highlighting a sexy area that I cannot identify. Matthew is doing a surprisingly boring leather faux collar bondage dress and Tim encourages him to go full S&M. Cindy designed a pink sheath dress with leather cap sleeves from the Chico’s collection. Polka Dots is using two colors of leather and something about a front yoke.

Over at Keeping It Real, Amanda and Joseph show Tim a fairly nice geometrical dress. Wind Chime’s cut leather mesh looks gorgeous but ambitious. (She’s also running out of leather, so her model may be showing a bit of her bits and pieces.) Richard has a sparkly number that Layana calls “Dancing With The Stars.” Stanley also went the sparkle route. Daniel is talking about ruching. Kate and Layana are making a corset, but the colors look a little junior promish.

The workroom turns into a last minute scramble for some of the designers. With two hours to go, Stanley is still cutting, Matthew is sewing his model into his dress, Joseph and Amanda’s dress is twelve sizes too big (i.e., a size six), Wind Chime’s dress is suddenly ready? “Richard’s model kind of looks like she took a s*** of ruffles.” Blondie is being done in by his own confusion.

Time for the runway show! But first, meet the judges: Zac Posen Kors, Nina Garcia Fashion Director Marie Claire, and Kristin Davis of…nothing since Sex And The City.

Keeping It Real

Daniel made a safe gold gown with an Angelina Jolie Leg Ventilator™. Wind Chime’s dress looks quite ordinary considering the work she put into it. Joseph and Amanda’s dress is quite nice, but not memorable. Richard’s ass ruffles look like “an exotic chicken.” Layana and Kate’s dress looks stunning. Stanley’s sparklefest is reminiscent of Hot Topic.

Dream Team

Polka Dots made a simple black sheath dress. Matthew made a slut-o-riffic leather number that is short in all the wrong places. Cindy’s mid-priced teen department dress is horrendous. Samantha made a swishy gown that shows ice skater netting. Blondie’s bizarre contraption is a good concept, but is so poorly executed that his model practically apologized on the catwalk. TuTu made a…I’m not sure. It’s a black dress that has a pouf, a fishtail, and a collar.

And no big Surprise! team Keeping It Real chalks up a third win.

Let’s start with the losers. Matthew, Cindy, and Blondie have the lowest scores. Zac Posen Kors calls Matthew’s dress trashy. Cindy says she tried to sex it up, yet her dress makes my sexual organs cringe. Heidi describes Blondie’s dress as “sad droopy boobs,” and Nina says that it is “probably the worst construction I’ve seen…this looks like she’s been shipwrecked!” Polka Dots regrets that her team is dragging her down like Blondie’s model’s boobs.

The judges love Wind Chime’s leather mesh dress, but Zac Posen Kors has the balls to suggest that it might be a tad too young for old crotchety Heidi. Layana and Kate’s dress is a hit, and now they’re battling over who takes credit for the good design. For who knows what reason, the judges swoon over Daniel’s cheesy gold leg gown.

And the winners are Kate and Daniel. Heidi sends Matthew in the back with the other contestants, which leaves Cindy and Blondie. And the loser is…Cindy with her shantung shambles! Her fate was sealed the second she selected pink iridescent shantung.

Next week, the designers source their materials at a flower shop and a hardware store.

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