Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

This week starts out with every last contestant complaining about teams. Teams, teams, teams. Luckily, this week’s challenge is another team challenge. And, bonus! Same teams!

Heidi schleps the contestants to Spin New York, a ping pong social club owned by America’s favorite cougar, Susan Sarandon. Spin needs new server and ball boy uniforms that incorporate the slogan “Balls Are Our Business.”

Blondie Benjamin lets everyone know that he has already done restaurant uniforms before, so he is in charge. Joseph Aaron wants to do something unconventional, like cat print sweaters. His Dream Team talks him down, but I’m guessing that they won’t be able to contain him for many more challenges. A bird’s gotta fly….

Okay, this is really, really important. Hallmarq? He’s not a menswear designer. I know, right? Shocking! Project Runway contestants never, ever say that they don’t “do” menswear.

Meanwhile, Wind Chime’s role has been relegated to leggings designer, à la LiLo. Daniel is helping Layana Twain drape shorts (fingers and camel toes crossed for some Crazy Crotch), and Benjamin’s micromanaging kicks into overdrive as he grabs Cindy’s hand and moves it around on her HP Tablet until it makes a picture that he deems acceptable. She very politely tells him to back off, which, yeah. Nice try.

The teams get to use a screen printer to get the logo onto the fabric. Joseph Aaron salivates at the craftiness of it all, and you can practically hear Wind Chime’s Etsy store opening for business.

Tim Gunn does a check-in with Keeping It Real. Everyone has a design buddy except for Stanley who is working alone. Yeah, I’m all alone. I’m rolling a big doughnut and this snake wearing a vest….oh, sorry. Wrong program. Though a snake vest is not the worst idea I’ve ever seen on Project Runway. Hallmarq shows Papa Gunn a clever Velcro back harness that holds the ball-picker-upper stick, and I can see the wheels spinning for alternate harness uses. Wind Chime confuses Tim with her leggings as she explains her plan to print logos everywhere, with cut-outs. Ugh.

Dream Team is making outerwear? Or something with lots of pockets. There’s the obligatory “We are doing the Ball Boy” double entendre, and Tim suggests that their jeans concept is too ordinary. Michelle accidentally says, “kilt,” and Tim is now pointing them in a very strange direction. Before he leaves, he gives the team some Real Talk With Papa Gunn and lets them know that they are really in trouble.

Well we finally get some male models in the workroom, so I’m going to take a little break and enjoy the view.

Sigh.

Where were we? Right. Fast forward through hair and makeup, and it’s time for the runway show. Surprise! Susan Sarandon is the guest judge.

Dream Team:

Michelle made a khaki sporty nylon dress jumper with a good use of the logo on the back. Samantha makes something that exposes the model’s bra, which is going to lead to some interesting HR violations at Spin. James made mediocre menswear. Benjamin is not pleased with his crotch. Matthew made the kilt of Tim Gunn’s dreams.

Keeping It Real:

Layana made a boring waitress outfit. Stanley made black pants and a black sweatshirt. Kate and Wind Chime made a yoga outfit with leggings and a skirt. Amanda made a very short little black dress. Joseph and Hallmarq made something with a harness and a good use of the logo.

Keeping It Real is the winning team again. The judges liked the boring waitress outfit. Nina is intrigued by the skort. Is it a short? Is it a skirt? It’s a skort. It’s adorable. The judges also like the boring black pants with the matching zzzzzzzz. And the harness is a hit, combining smart design with good typography.

And now for the losers. The judges hated the board shorts and tanktop because a server with hairy armpits makes Heidi vomit. The shorts suit is too frumpy and corporate, plus they made it in the saddest color of all: brown. It looks like something you would buy out of a dated catalogue. Oof. And, they hated the kilt.

And the winner is Layana, with a boring server uniform that would fit in nicely at Guy Fieri’s restaurant. As for the losers, it’s between Cindy’s wool blazer and James’s tank top. Cindy is in, so that means James is out. Her team is ecstatic because James is an even bigger downer.

Next week, they’re designing for the notoriously picky Heidi.

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