Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com
The judges switch up the teams again, because teams! Chaos! Conflict! Good television! This week’s teams are as follows:
- Stanley and Polka Dots
- Daniel and Layana
- Wind Chime and Hallmarq
Heidi ships the contestants off to the Guggenheim Museum, where Tim explains that they must create one piece of whacked out wearable art, and a second complimentary commercial ready-to-wear look. And, they will be making their own textiles using touch screens that are not iPads.
Polka Dots and Stanley are both inspired by the same paintings so they are working on the two outfits together, in peaceful harmony. Daniel talks whimsically about giant sculptural thing-a-ma-bobs, which concerns Layana because pretty things should be pretty. Wind Chime is inspired by “Rectangles, circles, all of that,” while Hallmarq cowers in the corner, confused.
For the textile, Stanley and Polka Dots draw an ugly bright yellow squiggle face and hit the “repeat” button. Wind Chime and Hallmarq make triangles. Whoo, live life to the fullest, kids. Layana and Daniel make rectangles. I haven’t had this much excitement since my last bowl of oatmeal.
And now it’s time for The Workroom Breakdown, starring Layana as The Drama Queen. Daniel tries to save Layana from her dark mood, but Layana says Daniel is a lousy partner because he can’t fix her awful design. So…wouldn’t that make Layana the worst partner of all? When Layana finally feels creative enough to design again, she hogs all of the fabric. Like, all of the fabric. Daniel has to beg her for less than a yard of fabric so that he can make a skimpy skirt. Teamwork! Yay!
After all of the bitching and moaning, Layana makes a boring, flat, lifeless skirt that isn’t anywhere near avante garde. Tim gives it a 12 out of 100 for creativity, and Layana brings out her secret weapons—tears and whining. “This is such a big challenge, and I feel like I have nobody who can help me!” Um, honey, this is a competition. If you can’t help yourself, it’s time for you to go home.
To the very short runway show! The judges this week are Rachel Roy (filling in for Zac Posen, who is filling in for Michael Kors), Nina Garcia, and fashion designer Tracy Reese.
Layana’s crazy tulle dress is nice, but not at all modern or even original. Daniel’s ready-to-wear version, however, is a super cute mini skirt with a slick black wrap jacket. Wind Chime went balls to the wall with this challenge, binding her model’s arms in a painted wrap and draping a trail of fabric poop behind her. Hallmarq’s ready-to-wear dress is…a mess. Polka Dots designed a zombie apocalypse funhouse army uniform, and Stanley made a killer giant a-frame dress for the more commercial look.
The judges love Stanley’s dress. Love it, love it, love it. Love. And Polka Dots’ dress isn’t half bad, either. Hallmarq and Wind Chime receive polite smiles from the judges. Heidi immediately wants to know who did what, and it becomes clear that Hallmarq struggled with the fabric, causing a battle between pleats and wrinkles.
Layana tries to talk her way through judging, moaning about a dark, dark place called The Workroom. Daniel’s look was Heidi’s favorite, and she calls the jacket “killer.” Nina describes Layana’s look a “hodgepodge,” and Tracy Reese calls it old-fashioned. Naturally, Layana takes credit for Daniel’s look and then summons up a few tears for backstage because Daniel didn’t acknowledge all of the non-work she put into Daniel’s garment. Or, rather, “our garment.” In sum, Layana wants credit for both outfits and feels “so betrayed” by Daniel. Oh. Mah. Gawd. Millennials, always reaching for an extra participation prize.
Wow, Rachel Roy does not like Layana’s dress. She calls it everything from bad pageant wear to a Kentucky Derby gone wrong. Heidi hits the nail on the head: I do think Layana thinks she is the cat’s meow. Meee-ow indeed!
Stanley and Polka Dots are the winning team, and the win goes to Stanley for that rockin’ tent dress that I would so wear the heck out of. Wind Chime and Hallmarq are the losing team, which means Layana can stop crying now. But now it’s Wind Chime’s turn to cry like a small child who lost her pet rock, and all for nothing because she’s in. Which means Hallmarq is out. Goodbye, Richard Hallmarq. You did some really solid but forgettable work this season.
Next week, no more teams. Instead, cast-off Project Runway losers will offer lots and lots of help.by