Barbet is a grizzled old skeleton who says things like “Yum! Yum!” and “Dance! Dance!” She is a personal shopper for people with more money than taste, and her first client is Stacy Something who has a closet bigger than most peoples’ apartments. It is filled with things that are borderline ugly, and Barbet is looking to cram one more outfit into the mix. Stacy needs something to wear for her daughter’s bat mitzvah. For reasons that are beyond my comprehension, Stacy’s twelve-year-old daughter has the final say.
Amy “loves her fashion double kiss mwah mwah.” She sports a tragic jumpsuit to meet Hope and Grace, a mother and daughter disaster team. The mother looks like Helena Bonham Carter on a bad day, and the daughter is dressed like she’s ready for a night out with Snooki and one of the lesser Meatballs. Are those sequined Uggs? I’ve always wondered who was dumb enough to buy those. The duo need outfits for their European cruise because you need to be really well dressed for the midnight buffet.
Oh. My. Gawd. Tayler and Gregg are twinsies! They are shopping for Heather and Madelyn, a mother and daughter. Mom’s going to a big event, and daughter is going to the prom. Thankfully this pair is far more tasteful than the other hobos we just saw, and I’m kind of digging Gregg and not really hating Tayler.
Tayler and Gregg present their picks to Heather and Madelyn. First up are the prom dresses. Too purple, not enough back showing, blah blah blah. Next is mom, who apparently doesn’t like sequins and nothing is blowing her away but maybe a suit is in the right direction except all of that tailoring and…back to the drawing board.
Amy shops in Carmen Marc Valvo’s showroom, and…I’m sorry, but these dresses are sort of frumpster and not very high end at all. Is this the best she can do, or the most her client can afford? I’m guessing it’s a little bit of both.
Barbet takes Stacy to a Romona Keveza fashion show (I thought she only did wedding gowns for Kleinfelds?) to hand-pick a dress. She loves a red dress despite claiming not to like red at all, like she hates red. When it’s time to show the dresses to Stacy’s Versace-clad twelve-year-old, bad news. The red dress has already been promised to someone much more important than Stacy. And the tween is rejecting looks right and left. “I don’t like the length.” “I think it looks like for a little like an older person than you.” “No.” “I love it.” Thank goodness, Barbet was able to please a small child with simple tuxedo suit. Why it takes a “professional” to buy you an off-the-rack tuxedo suit I will never know, but good for Barbet and her 10% commission.
Tayler and Gregg go shopping at a high-end prom dress store which I had no idea was even a thing. I thought the third floor of Saks Fifth Avenue was one big high end prom dress store, but whatever. Is Gregg wearing a dress? And gold heels? And is he running down the street? I love Gregg.
Amy returns to Hope and Grace’s home with models to put on a runway show in possibly the world’s tackiest living room. The kid isn’t loving much of anything except for an orange tank top. Then it’s time for the mother who also dismisses the outfits, until she sees a cowl neck in gold sparkle tightness that will show off her ample assets because just what everyone wants to see is Helena Bonham Carter’s cleavage. Ugh.
My new BFFs Tayler and Gregg are late for their presentation, which is not a good start. Daughter looks elegant in a royal blue backless gown and mamma wants to steal it right off of her back. Or backless. Whatever. Next is a white goddess gown that looks gorgeous…but mom calls it a “wedding on the beach” dress. Now it’s time for mom to try on her outfits. First is a bustier that makes her scowl. Mom is not pleased that her boobs are popping out. The next dress is all, “I don’t like the pockets…I like things tight, remember tight? Doesn’t it look like Wonder Woman? Ugh, it’s so complicated!” And then she comes out in the royal blue dress that was meant for her daughter, and everyone needs a moment because they’re very emotional about a dress they don’t even own. In the end, the kid takes the white dress and lets the mom wear the suit with the popping out bustier. Huh? What is wrong with these people? Wait, forget I even asked.
Until next week, when there’s more of the same only totally different.
Photo: mylifetime.com
Reprinted from HauteTalk.com
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