On this week’s Downton Abbey, Lord Robert has been summoned to America by Lady Cora’s brother. It seems that they’ve gotten into some hot water with the oil rig business and need the appearance of dignity provided by their relative, the Earl of Something-Or-Other. And where Lord Robert goes, so goes his Valet, Mr. Bates. But it’s a very delicate time for Bates and Anna, and at the urging of Mrs. Hughes via Lady Mary, Robert decides to leave Bates behind and take Jonathan as his replacement. Whew! And, oh boy. This should get interesting.

The Dowager Countess is feeling quite ill, almost unable to see her son, Robert, off on his journey to America. But don’t count her out just yet, as she summons enough energy for one final quip: Goodbye my dear. Try not to let those Yankees drive you mad. When Mrs. Crawley checks on her later that night, the Countess’s condition has deteriorated. The doctor diagnoses her with bronchitis, and Mrs. Crawley volunteers to stay by her side until she is better. Oh, poor Countess. Might as well sentence her to death.

Lady Edith’s near-German signed in at his hotel in Munich, then went out for dinner and never came back. This requires Edith to take a trip to London to…I don’t know, find out more about what might have happened somewhere totally not in London? Rose wants to go with her, but Cora is not pleased since Rose has not yet been presented. But who can say no to Rose?

Now that Lady Mary knows about Anna, she’s all sorts of nosy about finding the man who attacked her. “M’Lady, I don’t mind your knowing…but I can’t talk about it.” These Brits, so…stoic!

In her delirious state, the Dowager Countess tells the doctor that she wants a new nurse because this one (Mrs. Crawley) talks too much, “like a drunken vicar.” The next day, the Countess is hungry for toast, which is a good sign. She begs the doctor to get Mrs. Crawley the heck out of there, but he reminds her that Mrs. Crawley stayed by her side all night so the Countess should at least resemble something close to nice, if not grateful.

When Rose and Edith get to London, Rose takes off to row boats with her jazz singer (that is not a euphemism, they actually loll about in a rowboat). Edith confides in her aunt about the pregnancy and tells her that she wants to get rid of the baby. But her aunt says that they will take care of her “charming bastard” baby. But Edith knows what’s best for her life, so her aunt agrees to go with her. At the last minute, Edith flees the doctor’s office.

There are new guests at the Abbey—pigs! Lots and lots of pigs! And they’re dehydrated because they have kicked over the water troth. “Shall I fetch the pig man?” No, Lady Mary. You should not fetch the pig man, you should fetch the pigs their water. She spends the evening with Mr. Blake, slopping around in mud, hydrating a herd of pigs. And that is how all true romances begin.

Mr. Gillingham visits the Abbey, to try and woo Lady Mary just one more time before he gets married. And that means his rapey Valet is in the kitchen. Mrs. Hughes gives him more than a piece of her mind. He claims that he and Anna were drunk that night, but she will hear none of it. You go girl! And at dinner that night, Mr. Bates looks like he’s already put the pieces together, and is in search of just the right utensil to chop them all to bits.

Reprinted from HauteTalk.com