Battle lines are drawn from the get-go—Jeremy wants Josh out, and Josh wants Jeremy out. But Baylor is all, “Josh who?” which hurt Josh’s fee fees since he saved her life. And by “saved her life,” he means “didn’t vote her out.” Baylor’s mommy tells her that she has to be “a little bit phony.” Thanks for clarifying the game, lady. She also tells Baylor to smile to everybody just in case there’s a beauty pageant aspect to the game. And how is Twinnie still in the game? I figured she would’ve annoyed fourteen billion people by now, but there she is, quiet as a mouse.

We need to discuss trail mix, the elixir of life. Julie squirreled pounds of it into her bag during the feast. Her new tribemates remembered the delicious treat existed and went through Julie’s bag while she was off working. On her tan. It became a thing, and when there’s a thing, it’s never a good thing. So Julie, a contestant who was flying pretty low under the radar considering her boyfriend is noted bigot-racist-baseballer John Rocker, is now on the chopping block over what I have to say looks like some fairly good trail mix.

The first individual Immunity Challenge is all about balancing balls on boards. It is boring, and Keith wins. Back at camp, there’s more talk about trail mix and it causes Julie’s face to form something approaching sadness. She wants to go home, but Baylor’s mommy talks her off of the ledge.

Meanwhile, Josh writes a new Broadway show with a rousing song and dance finale titled “Couples Together, Singles Out”:

Having your loved ones means camaraderie,

Being alone spells another vote for me,

Keep it together,

Surviving forever,

The tribe has spoken,

Your game is broken,

Vote the singles out [dramatic pause] tonight!

 Oh what? Julie summons Jeff to the beach. She hasn’t gone more than four days without being with her meathead boyfriend, everyone is mean-girling her, and she wants to go home. “They’re talking about my boobs…making jokes…..” Seriously? You’re quitting the game because people are mocking your comically huge and clearly enhanced boobs? Oh. My. Gosh.

Jeff asks everyone to pull up a log. “Julie is quitting the game.” The tribe talks crap about Julie because she did nothing, she stole food, and she’s really quitting because there’s no way that she can ever win the game. The only person mildly perturbed by Julie’s departure is Jeremy, who was counting on her vote. But hey, at least this gives him another three days to figure it all out.

Next week, the men and women split.

Reprinted from TravelFreak.com

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Okay okay okay, Jeff arrives on the blue tribe’s beach. He’s carrying a sack of rice on his shoulder so he means business. Julie’s crying which I didn’t think she could do after the surgery. Jeff can only remember one other time that a tribe needed their rice replenished, and that was in Australia and there was some sort of flood involved. It’s fourteen days in, and Jeff declares this tribe The Worst. “In fairness of the game…the penalty for [eating all of your damned rice] has to be just. “ Jeff wants the tarp, the hammock, the bed roll, the pillows, the blankets, the candles….the hatchet, the hammer, one of the pots, and the extra flint. Um, is there a Bed Bath and Beyond on the beach? Where did they get such lavish stuff? Are those scented candles? Anyway, that leaves the blue tribe with a machete, a pot, and a piece of flint. They take the deal and will be playing the game how it should be played.

During a boring Immunity Challenge involving blindfolds and touching, Reed wins reward for the blue team and Natalie volunteers to go to Exile Island with Baylor from the orange tribe. The reward is a delicious kabob meal…and they get to keep the grill. But without a tarp or a bed or a loofah, life is hard at the blue tribe’s camp and Julie cries her way through the cold, rainy night.

The Immunity Challenge is a puzzle piece collection flag puzzle solving kind of game that also involves rolling a giant wooden cube along the beach to create platforms tall enough to reach the puzzle pieces. After trailing through an exhausting challenge, the blue tribe catches up on the puzzle portion because Josh and Reed are the perfect smarty pants super couple. And with that, the blue tribe continues its winning streak while the orange tribe is headed for Tribal Council.

While grilling crabs on a skewer, Dale cuts a deal with Jon—if he makes it through the vote, he will give Jon his [fake] Immunity Idol. Have these idiots never seen the show before? I mean, how stupid do you have to be to buy the old fake Immunity Idol routine? It doesn’t even look like an Immunity Idol, it’s all puny and sad. Okay, not that stupid because the plan is to split the vote between Dale and Keith, just in case it’s a real Immunity Idol. There ought to be some sort of price check scanner, where players can check and see if it’s a genuine Immunity Idol before the vote. Then again, that wouldn’t be much of a game.

The jibber-jabber is a snore, Dale fails to play his [fake] Immunity Idol, and Jeff reads the votes: Dale, Keith, Missy, Keith, Dale, Dale. Sorry, Dale. You tried, but you just had no hand to play.

Next week, merge!

Reprinted from TravelFreak.com

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After Drew single-handedly threw the Immunity Challenge, earning him a spot on a flight back to wherever he came from, the tribe is elated. The orange team is shocked to see him gone, and Jeff is shocked that anyone is shocked because what do you know, orange tribe?

Drop. Your. Buffs.

Kelly and her dad, Missy and her daughter, Josh and Reed, Jon and his girlfriend…there are three whole pairs of loved ones on the orange tribe, and one measly pair on the blue team. It’s too early to tell how this might shake up the game.

The food situation on the blue tribe is dismal. Wes suspects the former blue tribe’s chow downs is why they kept winning the challenges. Meanwhile, the new orange tribe is super duper excited about all of the food. Missy puts fives scoops of rice into the water. Dale tries to slow her roll, but There’s a ton of rice at this camp…that’s not how we did it over there, we made so much more than this!

What the orange tribe is not super excited about is Jacqueline and Jon’s excessive lovey doveying, which is gross because these people are all stinky and grubby and have not brushed their teeth in weeks. The other couples are far less lovey dovey since they are mother-daughter and father-daughter. But still, it’s way too gropey on this tribe.

Come on in guys! Look at you in your new buffs, one tribe with full bellies and the other with the tummy grumbles. The challenge is a digging up a bag and crawling through the mud to open a gate and shake sand bags loose that must be tossed onto wobbly platforms kind of thing.

Despite having eaten twelve pounds of rice, the orange team is useless. The blue team dominates the bag digging, mud crawling, and sand bag shaking portion of the game. Twenty blue sandbags fall out of a perch as the orange team scrambles through the mud. Blah blah blah, the blue team wins by an embarrassing amount and the orange tribe is headed to Tribal Council. Also, everyone is covered in mud and dirt.

But wait! The blue tribe wants to talk to Jeff. “We’re basically out of food….” Jeff says he will discuss it with them after he deals with the orange tribe at Tribal Council. What on earth could they have to trade? Shelter? Or…a loved one?

At the orange camp, two couples team up to get rid of Missy or Baylor. Then, one of the couples start speed dating Missy and Baylor. It’s all so weird, and I could barely tell these people apart when they were on their original tribes so now I’m just thoroughly confused.

Yammer yammer yammer, I’ll go tally the votes. Baylor, Kelly(?!), Baylor, Kelly, Dale(?!?!), Dale, Kelly….I don’t get it….Kelly goes home because Dale didn’t want Missy to eat all of the rice? Sure, why not.

Next week, Dale makes a fake Immunity Idol and Jeff cuts the blue tribe a deal.

Reprinted from TravelFreak.com

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Drew, noted Blue Tribe Climatologist, insists that a typhoon is headed their way so the tribe must reinforce the palm frond roof on their structure. Then, he takes a nap. In my several dozen years of watching Survivor, I have gained a bit of insight into the game and can say with a great deal of confidence that sleeping is never, ever, ever a good strategy. But this episode is not about Drew. It is about the orangey tribe’s three hundred pound simmering boil, John Rocker.

At the Reward Challenge, Jeremy sees that Val was voted out of her tribe. He is understandably pissed and shoots John Rocker eye-daggers. Rocker then demonstrates his moronitude and apologizes to Jeremy, claiming he did everything that he could to protect Val but his alliance would not go along with him so he had to give in and vote Val out of the tribe. And he said that in front of his own tribe. They’re all like, “huh? Did he just say that he has an alliance with Jeremy?” Yes, yes he did. Because John Rocker is an idiot.

The Reward Challenge pits Wes versus his papa Keith in a balancing pizza-like board stacking game. Keith craps out and the sunshine tribe wins its first challenge of the season. They choose the fishing gear that was forfeited at the last challenge as their reward. Oh, and Wes picks Josh to go to Exile Island with his father. Once at Exile Island, Keith and Josh share the clue to the Immunity Idol and plan to search for it back at their camps. Then, it’s snail smashing and eating time.

Back at camp, Jeremy tells his blue tribe who John Rocker is and what he said. “So he’s a bigot?” Yes, yes he is. But, awkward! Rocker’s girlfriend is, like, right there. Well, I’m sure it’s nothing she hasn’t heard before.

The Immunity Challenge looks like a doozy! It’s like someone bought all of the Tinker Toys on the planet, enlarged them by a bazillion percent, and dumped them on a Nicaraguan beachfront. Tribemates are tethered together in twos and must crawl and climb through the stick maze to retrieve a ball and toss it into a basket. The first pair to get the ball into the basket scores a point for their tribe, and three is the magic number. One point for the blue tribe, one point for the orangey tribe, another point for the orangey tribe, Josh spider monkeys through the course dragging Baylor behind…but then Baylor misses the basket. Before they can retrieve their air ball, one point for the blue team.

With the game tied, things get a little ugly under the sticks. In the end, the blue team pulls out a win. Then, Twinnie finally opens her big mouth about John Rocker being a racist and homophobe. And did he just threaten to knock Twinnie’s teeth out? Yes, yes he did. Nice. If the orangey tribe has any sense (and I’m not sure that they do), they’d get rid of that giant, hulking mass of crud at Tribal Council.

So the yellow-orange-yellow tribe beach is…interesting. Baylor needs to scramble since she had multiple votes at the last Tribal Council. Oh hahahaha, John Rocker just said that he can’t be a homophobe because he’s got a gay ally on the tribe! That’s like not even saying you have a gay friend. Well, John Rocker’s gay ally hatches a plan with Wes, Baylor, and Alec to get rid of him. Alec is not necessarily down with the plan since John is their biggest guy, so we’ll see.

Let’s just get down to business. Tribal Council. Mushybrains John Rocker fails to play his Immunity Idol, and the votes are Baylor, John, Baylor, John, John, John. Boom! And that’s how this game is played! Good on them, and goodbye, loser. Go home with an Idol in your pocket. And fire your publicist for mistakenly thinking that this could rehab your image. Ha!

Next week, “Basically I’m a badass.” “Basically he’s a moron.”

Reprinted from TravelFreak.com

Photo: CBS

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So what’s new? Well, Reed can stretch his leg over his head and some other dude likes to bench press driftwood. Not to be outdone, this other guy does push-ups off of a log. Oh, and the very important to the point of being essential fire making flint is missing.

At the Reward Challenge, it’s a patented Loved Ones Showdown with a ball balancing obstacle course and bonus skee ball. I guess that’s like a Showcase Showdown, only the reward is fishing gear and a bit of food instead of a dinette set and a refrigerator. Horrible Person John Rocker and his “model” girlfriend, Julie, do the challenge and he either lets her win, or he’s ironically bad with balls. Instead of congratulating her, he grouses that “I just got beat by a girl.” Julie, honey, you can probably do a bit better than this loser. Anyway, meathead heads off to Exile Island with Jeremy from the other tribe.

Then, the blue team asks Jeff Probst if they can trade the beans from their reward for flint. Jeff notes the irony of having two firemen in their tribe. And, he’s a shrewd negotiator and counters with an offer of flint for the beans plus all of their fishing gear. The tribe reluctantly agrees. I’m guessing they’re going to keep a close eye on that new flint.

John Rocker, noted sad excuse for a man, wears mom jeans.

The Immunity Challenge is Rock ’Em Sock ’Emrobots on a floating platform. One point for the yellowish-orange tribe. Two brothers fight like mom’s not looking and it’s one point for the blue team. One more for the yellowish-orange team before a massive girl fight between Natalie and Val, with Natalie triumphant to tie up the game at two. Two guys named John head butt each other for a while until former baseball player John ends up in the water for one more point for the blue team. Then, it’s a mother-daughter matchup…and Baylor’s mother splits Baylor’s lip so she knocks her mother into the water and ties the game. Josh and Reed show their show moves and it’s one more point for the blue team. Some old guy ties the game and it’s the final match with two bikini-clad women fighting for immunity. And it’s a hard-fought win for the blue team, which sends the yellowish-orange team back to Tribal Council.

Dammit, terrible person John Rocker finds an Immunity Idol. He hatches some bizarre scheme where he tries to save Val because of a promise he made to Jeremy at Exile Island wherein Jeremy would keep Julie safe and John would keep Val safe. Anyway, the vote is being split between Val and Baylor. But later on it is noticed that John and Val took a little walk on the beach together, so who knows.

Tribal Council is boring except for a few words between Val and Baylor. The votes are Val, Baylor, Val, Baylor, Val, Baylor, Baylor, Val, and it’s a tie. In the revote, it’s either Val or Baylor. Sad excuse for a human John Rocker flips and votes for Val and she becomes the second person voted out of the tribe. I can’t wait until she gets home and Googles John Rocker.

Next week, everyone hears all about John Rocker’s past and it makes Hulk smashy angry.

Reprinted from TravelFreak.com

Photo: cbs.com

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Welcome to Season Twenty Freaking Nine! of Survivor, a show that will always have a warm place in my heart, and that warmth is probably a sunburn.

We’ll dispense with the get-to-know-you pleasantries real quick. There are a handful of players worth noting early on, and it all begins with that charmless meathead former Major League Baseball pitcher who once said that he found riding the New York City subway depressing because it’s like you’re riding through Beirut (a place I’m guessing he can’t find on a map) “next to some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some twenty-year-old mom with four kids.” So I’m thinking he should do real well in this game.

And wait a second—are those the Twinnies from The Amazing Race?! They are! And they’re both awfully quiet for screeching banshees. I can only hope that they both get voted out at the first Tribal Council before they find their voices.

We’ve also got a pair of Broadway staaahs, Josh and Reed, so if emoting is key to any of the challenges, these two have it locked up. And another notable twisteroonie is the return of Exile Island and this new thing called a Hero Challenge that I’m just going to pretend does not exist. Instead, we’re going to skip the whole dividing into two teams and someone yelling at someone else to chop bamboo faster and get right to Josh’s epic case of pink eye, earning him the title (from me, at least) of Pink Eye. He’s also a bit of a ginger so his skin looks like it’s pinking up to match. His tribe used some kind of poisonous sap sticks and leaves for the roof of their not-otherwise-shabby hut and they have to remove it before it cruds up anyone else’s peepers. Plus, there are scorpions all over the camp. Nice touch, Probst.

Come on in guys! The two exiled tribe members, Val and Keith, return from two days of togetherness on Exile Island. I don’t know. Unless you’re there by yourself, is it really exile? For the first challenge, it’s an under obstacle bag grab and ooh! This one is new. There are three walls and all sorts of difficult ways to hurl your teammates over the top. It’s like the producers finally poked the props department with a stick.

Whoa, I have never seen teams scramble like this before…several dozen bodies are scurrying underneath an obstacle course and not caring one bit if they head butt a teammate or an opponent or a stick of bamboo. That crappy human formerly known as a baseball player makes it up the wall in no time and is quickly followed by the rest of his team. For their third wall, the lunkhead just hurls his team to the top. The other team (seriously, there is no way that I will ever remember the names—blue team and yellow team? Does that work until some other identifying feature rears its lulzy head?) starts the inevitable catch-up because the yellow team kind of sucks at puzzles and bing bang boom, blue team wins immunity.

At Tribal Council, Jeff gives Twinnie a platform to talk about The Amazing Race and boy she just runs with it, and there’s not much of an off switch. She’s yapping about turning lemons into margaritas and her primal needs…shudder…and then she insultingly refers to Pink Eye as a girl because he’s gay. Can someone smack her upside the head already? Anyway, Pink Eye is looking like blinking is very difficult and some old guy tries to pitch his value as Firemaker Extraordinaire (totally not factoring in the flint and fiery torches the tribe gets to take back with them at the end of the night) while crappy baseball player and worse human John Rocker just sits there like a caveman. The only smarts in the game at the moment is a lady with a Boston Strong t-shirt (no relation) who implies that she might’ve scrounged up an Immunity Idol on Exile Island. Hey, you play the cards you are dealt.

The votes are way too scattered until the old guy and Twinnie are tied. Twinnie picks up another vote and the first person voted out of Survivor is Twinnie. Ha! Goodbye, noise factory. Aww, and she went out with an “it is what it is.” Drink!

Reprinted from TravelFreak.com

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With Trish gone, there are four people left on the beach. And one of them is Tony. So, welcome to The Tony Show.

What’s that? A boat? And it’s headed for the beach. It’s Kass’s husband, Woo’s brofest cousin, Tony’s dudebro friend, and Spencer’s sister who “loves him unconditionally.” Oh ha ha, Tony’s wife didn’t bother showing up. There’s a basket of juices and pastries that looks like the lousiest feast in the game.

Come on in guys! It’s one of those perch on a pole challenges, then some buckets and water, unlocking locks, and puzzling a puzzle. Unlike past visits from loved ones, the loved ones are sitting relatively comfortably on the sidelines watching Kass, Tony, Spencer, and Woo wobble on sticks. Kass is useless at this challenge, too afraid of falling off of her stick to gather any water. Tony grabs his key first but can’t jump into the water because he doesn’t know how to swim (what is wrong with you people going on Survivor without swimming skills?). Spencer is close behind and we all know how it turned out the last time Spencer and Tony went up against each other in a puzzle challenge.

Woo joins the puzzle crew, leaving Kass teetering on her stick. Then, in an insane come-from-behind victory, Kass finally finds her way to the beach and solves the puzzle in no time flat. Holy cow, that was incredible! Go brains! Kass is in the final three, and you know what? She might actually win this thing.

To save his skin, Spencer tries to convince Tony that this season it’s a final two. Since he’s a super fan, Tony listens to his frazzled logic. Spencer’s pitch is that it makes sense to take him to a final two because…I’m not sure. I can’t follow his line of insane reasoning.

At Tribal Council, we learn that Spencer was actually right—it’s final two, not final three. But we don’t learn it until after the votes are read, and the votes are: Spencer, Woo, Spencer, Spencer. Which means Spencer goes home, and Woo and Kass kick themselves for not getting rid of Tony. It has an extra layer of sting when Tony reveals that his extra special magical Immunity Idol is powerless at that stage of the game.

That night, Kass and Woo vow to win the final Immunity Challenge and vote Tony out of the game. The final challenge is one heck of a maze. It looks to be the size of a football field and has a series of turnstile obstacles. Once out of the maze, there’s a cog puzzle. Woo gets out first followed by Tony and Kass bringing up the rear. Now, a puzzle. And we all know how good Tony is at puzzles….Kass brains her way back into the game but Woo steals her thunder, winning Immunity by less than one second for the closest finish in Survivor history. Well, at least it’s not Tony.

Tony’s pitch to Woo is that taking Kass means no loyalty or integrity, plus Kass has “stories”—“Kass played the game, you didn’t.” So…according to Tony, Woo can’t win against either player. Kass then likens Woo to a totally different Fabio than the one in my head. “You haven’t really hurt anybody, nobody really knows you, everybody hates me.”

It’s the final Tribal Council before the Very Final Tribal Council, and Woo puts an end to the jibber-jabber. He says that he doesn’t even want to hear from Kass or Tony but instead wants to go straight to the vote. Good for him. Woo votes out Kass, in possibly the dumbest move ever. Might as well just write Tony a check for a million bucks, Woo! Nobody ever gives the money to a coattail-rider. Ever. EVER! Remember Season One, where Richard Hatch, one of the most hated contestants in Survivor history, beat out Kelly Wiglesworth? Her loyalty meant nothing. All that mattered was that Richard ran the game. Tony is the new Richard, and Woo, you’re the new loser.

Oh man. During the feast back at camp, Tony finds yet another secret clue. It sends him into the woods where he finds a mirror and a scale. That’s…weird. He shows Woo, and they laugh at their changed appearance.

Okay, so Woo might actually win this thing. His story about being a tae kwon do instructor and his mother as compared to Tony and his “it was all strategy” might win over the jury. Honor, integrity, feel-good words, it’s not bad.

Sarah’s pissed at Tony. Jeffra’s pissed at Tony (her hair looks fantastic considering the tropical humidity). Tony starts yammering about how he’s not a villain. Some other chick seems torn. Jeremiah wants to know if Tony really has a wife and baby since he swore on the life of his wife and baby which makes him the lowest form of life, so Woo gets Jeremiah’s vote. Tasha is confused by Woo’s airy logic. LJ, who’s he? Was he on the beach, too? Kass makes Woo explain his stupidity. He reasons that Tony deserved to sit there next to him, which is not a very good pitch for a vote. And then, Trish. Woo confesses that it was his idea to blindside her. She unleashes her wrath and a giant truth bomb on Tony—she’s the one who convinced the other players to trust him, because they trusted her, and he dumped all over that trust. In other words, Tony didn’t actually do anything to get where he was because the hard and dirty work was done by Trish. Oh right, Spencer. He likens Woo’s game to that of a dog, staying loyal to his owner, and makes an oddball pitch to the jury to vote for Tony because the way he played honors the game.

Just read the votes already, Jeff! Fast forward, and the votes are: Tony, Woo, Tony, Tony, Tony, ugh. Tony. And that’s enough, Tony is the winner of Survivor Season 28.

Well, I sort of agree with Jeff that this was one of the best seasons of Survivor. And Tony deserves the win. Good for him, I guess.

Reprinted from TravelFreak.com

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So on Survivor, there’s this person? Named Jefra? And she got voted out? But nobody learned their lesson? Or at least that’s how I read the situation, from Tony’s point of view.

Tony talks “strategy” about people with Spencer and Woo, which allows Kass to listen in on the conversation. And she doesn’t like what she hears. Well, this is quite the wake-up call. And, because Kass is an idiot, she lets Tony know that she heard everything he said about her, which he denies. The bickering continues for, like, an entire day. Or two days. Or forever. It’s definitely forever.

Well, everyone finally looks like they’re starving. Trish is skeletal, and Kass isn’t far behind. The Reward Challenge requires throwing sandbags to destroy a wall, and rebuild a wall. And the reward is all about bringing school supplies to a local school, so it’s “nourishment for the soul.” Throwing, building, and the reward goes to Spencer, Kass, and Woo. The big question is, can Kass use the time to influence Spencer and Woo’s game?

Maybe. Tony pissed off Spencer and he wants him out, so Spencer might stick with Kass to flush out the Idol. There’s a lukewarm “final three” alliance, but Woo is a tough read. He’s noncommittal, in a committal kind of way. Back at camp, Woo tells Tony that the plan is to vote out Tasha. So maybe Woo is on board with this very, very, very loose alliance. But Tony’s not as stupid as he looks, sounds, and acts, and he knows there’s something wrong about Spencer not proposing getting rid of Tony. However, at this point in the game, Tony has no one to turn to for advice except the camera.

The Immunity Challenge is about counting stuff at six different stations along the beach to learn the combination to a lock at the other end of the beach. After so much exhausting back-and-forth that I can’t even count how many times the players have run a length of beach that I can’t traverse without medical attention, Spencer wins the Immunity Idol.

Tasha, Spencer, and Woo agree to split the votes—women vote for Trisha, and men vote for Tony. That way if Tony has an Immunity Idol, at least they know that Trisha is going home. But Kass’s brain goes into overdrive and she considers whether going up against Tony in the end might possibly be a good thing since everybody hates Tony.

At Tribal Council, it is clear that the plan is to flush out one of Tony’s many Immunity Idols. But Tony doesn’t play his regular old Immunity Idol, instead waiting to find out if he has been voted out. The votes are read: Tasha, Tony, Trish, Tasha, Tasha. Are you kidding me?! What is wrong with you people? Tasha was supposed to win this thing. Ugh!

Next week, Kass pisses Tony and Trish off about something she said, or did.

Reprinted from TravelFreak.com

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With Jefra failing to make a big move and turn on Tony, she sealed her fate as Person Who Did Not Win Survivor. It also puts Tasha and Spencer in a tough spot since their alliance is now down to two sitting ducks.

Because the contestants are a little bit hungry, it’s time for a Survivor Auction.  Everyone plans to save their money to bid on an advantage in the game, but who knows what will happen when they are faced with a burger and fries. First up is popcorn, gummy candy, and soda which has precisely zero nutritional value. Trish buys it for $80. Jefra purchases a mystery plate for a hundred bucks, and it’s salsa, guacamole, pita bread, and a margarita. Next is another mystery item, and Kass takes the bait for $20. It’s a steak sandwich and iced tea. That’s a good deal. Woo and Trish bid against each other on yet another mystery item that Trish buys for sixty dollars. It’s rice and water. Next are ribs and beer. Woo buys it for $40 and has a party in his mouth, to a generic Barry White-ish soundtrack.

Jeff notices that Spencer, Tasha, and Tony aren’t bidding on anything. He cuts to the chase and says that if the bidding for the advantage reaches the maximum of $500, everyone can get in on the bidding. If there are more than one person, they will draw rocks for who gets the advantage. Spencer and Tony both bid $500, but Tasha sits this one out, likely waiting to be the only one left with $500 for the next advantage. Tony wins the advantage, and Spencer gets nothing. And with that, the auction is over.

So what’s the advantage? A clue to yet another Hidden Immunity Idol. And it’s a very specific clue, which means that even an idiot such as Tony should be able to find it.  While Tony searches the beach and the woods, the ladies float in the water. Tasha is planting the seeds of an all-female alliance. This makes Tony nervous, so Spencer whispers sweet nothings in Tony’s ear. It works, sort of, and Tony walks away marginally more paranoid. But he walks away to look for the Idol again, and he finds it under a tree. Rather than keep it a secret, he wears it around his neck and tells his alliance that it’s for whomever needs it in the game. That’s a total lie, but whatever.

It’s another Immunity Challenge with digging and a ball-on-puzzle-maze game. Tasha is out to an early lead as she totally rocks on the puzzle maze, but Tony and Woo are catching up. It’s not enough, and Tasha wins Immunity for the third time in a row.

Tony hatches a plan to get rid of Jefra instead of Spencer so that there will be an even number of men and women. But these plans have a way of turning to crap, so we’ll see.

There’s a lot of back-and-forth yammering at Tribal Council, with Spencer warning about not making big moves in the game and Jefra whining about LJ being voted off a million years ago. The votes are Spencer, Jefra, Spencer, Jefra, Spencer, Jefra, and that’s when people get all Scooby Doo confused. With one final vote, Jefra is out of the tribe.

Next week, everyone is sick of Tony. Sheesh! What took them so long?

Reprinted from TravelFreak.com

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Having voted out the only tribe member who can get stuff off of the top shelf on last week’s Survivor, the Cilantro tribe is split, and angry. And Lindsey lets Trisha know exactly how she feels. “Everything about you is annoying, your laugh, your teeth, your face….I think you’re annoying, I think you’re terrible, I think you’re the most horrific person I’ve ever met….” And that’s just the first thirty seconds.

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