Walking calamity Lindsay Lohan graces our televisions tonight in what is sure to be a terrible made-for-tv-movie, Liz & Dick. Don’t get too excited, it’s only a Lifetime movie, so it’s about the Richard Burton kind of dick (as opposed to the Cinemax variety), with Lindsay Lohan playing the legendary Elizabeth Taylor. Lifetime bills it as Lohan’s “highly anticipated comeback movie role,” which is funny because it’s not a real movie. And hoo boy, I do not envy the makeup department’s daunting task of having to transform that decrepit slab of grizzled bacon into a young, dewy actress. Surely there’s a Technology & Engineering Emmy Award in this “movie’s” future.

While this is guaranteed to be Terrible Television, you will have to tune in tonight to see just how badly it ranks on the Cringeworthy Scale, one being Sucking Air In Through Your Teeth and ten being Classic Lindsay Lohan Train Wreck.

Liz & Dick airs Sunday night at 9 p.m. on the right coast on Lifetime, the channel for a slightly older female demographic. Enjoy?

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