This week’s episode of Project Runway kicks off on the Coney Island boardwalk, and is sponsored by frozen yogurt. Like, really, really, really sponsored by a frozen yogurt, because nothing says fashion like froyo! The designers will be working in teams of two, paired up by the Dreaded Button Bag:
- Alexander and Justin
- Kate and Helen
- Jeremy and Ken
- Sue and Sandro
- Braydon and Karen
- Dom and Alexandria
- Timothy and Miranda
The teams have fifteen minutes to hand out samples of frozen yogurt and receive “sensory descriptive words” that will have absolutely nothing to do with the challenge. Tangy, fluffy, luxurious, arousing, happy, Raspberry Town….Each team must collaborate on one look made out of whatever prizes the designers win from carnival games. Moles whacked, goldfish pelted with ping-pong balls, Timothy wins a unicorn, and time is up.
When the designers slice open their carnival prizes, the Styrofoam pellet filling gets everywhere. There isn’t a lint brush in the world that can handle this mess. Tim Gunn will not be happy about the condition of his workroom.
Dom and Alexandria are making what looks like kiddie clothes, there are lots of bodices made out of vinyl and straw (including a killer one from Helen and Kate), and Karen and Braydon are attempting to make something “organic” out of the most synthetic materials ever.In the middle of Tim’s critique, Sandro cancels the entire skirt that Sue was working on, and something-something-something Zac Posen. Tim is not responding well to the sweaty mess that is Sandro, so I look forward to his runway commentary. Tim cautions Timothy and Miranda that their design is “hospital gowny,” and then adds “Disney” to the mix, and ultimately a “Disney princess in a hospital gown.”
On the day of the runway show, most of the outfits are still ugly. Like, fugly levels of ugly. Justin and Alexander are in trouble, as are Timothy and Miranda, Sandro and Sue, and maybe, well, everyone except for Helen and Kate because they made a red straw swirl of awesome.
To the runway! The judges this week are Zac Posen, Nina Garcia, and Kelly Osbourne, who is a walking carnival. Also, Tim Gunn and his patented Tim Gunn Rescue. Bradon and Karen’s blue and green dress is ugly ugly ugly and looks like a mush of garbage bags. Dom and Alexandria’s fuzzy blue outfit looks like it came from the sale rack at Kid Robot, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sandro and Sue’s plastic garbage bag flutter dress is a cheap cop-out. Helen and Kate’s red straw outfit is “f*@#ing brilliant,” in the spontaneous words of Kelly f*@#ing Osbourne. Alexander and Justin’s plastic nightmare looks like plastic that may take the shape of a dress. Jeremy and Ken created a surprisingly sleek pair of blue plastic pants with a raffia and…something fuzzy….vest. Miranda and Timothy’s terribly tortured plastic dress is better than expected (and expectations were very, very low), but is still somehow a disappointment.
Bradon and Karen, Ken and Jeremy, Sandro and Sue are all safe. Dom and Alexandria, and Helen and Miranda have the highest scores. Everyone wants to wear Dom and Alexandria’s stuffed animal dress, except for Nina who would never let the synthetic fabric near her skin. After last week’s meltdown, Helen tries out friendly and accommodating this week. Nina calls it a “real high fashion moment,” and Zac Posen calls it, “sombrero Saturn chic.”
And now for the lowest scores. Alexander and Justin’s hideous blue and green plastic is like a hazmat suit with petals. Zac Posen points out the kelp on the bottom, a dorsal fin, and “seaweed on the bum,” and Heidi calls it “overbedazzled.” But when Zac asks the designers to remove the vest, the design is already a thousand times better. Timothy and Miranda made an equally sad looking dress. Heidi gives it the “boring” kiss of death. Zac Posen thinks it looks like a pool toy, and Nina says it’s “really not good.” When asked who should go home if they lose, Timothy rents a party bus and lures Miranda underneath with a shiny object before taking off the parking break.
Tim brings the models out for a closer look and the judges gush over the sombrero dress. When it comes to Timothy and Miranda’s disaster, Nina blurts out, “The vest or the dress, neither one is good!” The winner is Helen. Sigh. Her ego is pushing maximum density. Dom, Alexandria, Justin, and Alexander are in, so it’s between Timothy and Miranda. And FINALLY the judges get rid of Timothy. Goodbye, strange kid who completely lacks self-awareness.
Next week, a bowtie challenge.
Where can I buy the top worn by Nina Garcia in the Carnival episode. I absolutely love it!