Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com
Okay there’s a lot that happens on the runway this week, so we’re going to just zip on through the whole making of the clothes thing and get right down to business. The contestants are split up into two teams of four, and the judges decide who will be working together. The designers give themselves cringeworthy names:
Team Hip and Slick
Layana, Hallmarq, Amanda, and Samantha
Team Fifty Shades Of Grey
Daniel, Wind Chime, Stanley, and Polka Dots
The teams have only one day to create three performance outfits for the cast of Thunder From Down Under, which is a male strip show comprised of oiled up Australian muscley men. Or so I’ve heard. The performers will also be the models, so the clothes must fit their bulging bodies. Oh, and did I mention that they need to be tear away clothes?
So there’s sewing, there’s stitching, there’s velcroing, there are naked men all over the workroom, and welcome to the runway!
The judges this week are Zac Posen Kors, Nina Garcia, actress and singer and star of Shameless Emmy Rossum. Two designers from the winning team will be the winners of this challenge, and one designer from the losing team will be out.
First up is the horribly named Slick and Hip. Hallmarq and Samantha made a tuxedoish shirt and black pants. The vest is too short, but the pants at least fit reasonably well. Hallmara and Amanda made a mess of a white shirt that’s way too long with a too-short tie and…weird pants. Layana, Hallmarq and Amanda made a jacket that is too tight in all the wrong places, and it’s basically the worst suit ever.
I’m embarrassed for this team. But wait—do the clothes tear away? No. It’s a dance routine. Oh, what? They lost their shirts! AND THEIR PANTS!!! Heidi forgot to vote and Nina is battling Zac for the smelling salts.
Next is Team Shades Of Grey. Daniel and Wind Chime made a baggy, boring trench coat and a decent pair of pants. Stanley designed a forgettable suit that’s a little sloppy. Polka Dots’ outfit is a weird angular vest that’s too short here and too pointy there, with shiny pants that do very kind things to the performer’s posterior.
And it’s show time! Dancing! Tear away shirts! Almost tear away pants! Oh man, this is not good. The dancers are stuck in their pants! Nina, go help them out of their pants!
So, how’d they all do? Heidi would like to vote them all out. Shades Of Grey is the winning team, but only because Slick And Hip sent an absolute disaster down the runway
The judges talk to Fifty Shades Of Grey first. Nina’s annoyed that they didn’t bother doing anything creative, and Zac Posen Kors thinks the performers look like the weirdest office ever. Polka Dots made the most “palatable” look, but that’s not saying much at all. Heidi calls Stanley’s suit a “rental suit,” and Zac Posen Kors says “the middle shirt is just terrifying for me.” If this is the winning team, I can’t wait to get to the losing team.
Slick and Hip offers excuses, excuses, excuses. Layana confesses to making the jackets, Hallmarq sewed the shirts, and Amanda designed the pants. Samantha made a vest and pants that Heidi thinks is the best of the three. Hahaha, the seams in one of the model’s pants are slowly bursting and Nina is in a fit of hysterics and she cannot stop laughing.
The judges try to wrap their heads around what Team Shades Of Grey sent down the runway. Zac Posen Kors explains that it’s really not that complicated to make a man’s shirt, and it’s actually easier because there aren’t any boobs. Pant legs were different lengths, jackets were simultaneously too tight and too loose, shirt collars drooped, and Heidi suggests sending both Hallmarq and Amanda home.
The judges universally like the look Polka Dots presented the best, even if they didn’t like it at all. The only thing Zac Posen Kors would wear out of the entire runway show is that snore of a trench coat, and he would have put a belt on it, which prompts jokes about how big the belt needs to be and how the coat is “hiding the thunder,” and the judges have finished their transformation into giggling teenaged girls.
Heidi announces that tonight, in a Project Runway first, there is no winner. Team Slick And Hip is in, and they take Samatha and Layana from Team Shades Of Grey with them to go lick their wounds. Now it’s down to Richard or Amanda, Richard or Amanda. It’s a tough decision, but the judges decide to give Hallmarq another chance and kick ol’ Amanda to the curb.
Next week, the designers are creating ready to wear looks for Lord and Taylor, and Stanley and Wind Chime are ready to kill each other.