Zoidberg waits for his lady at the bus depot and brings her flowers but she can’t handle his “personal musk,” also known as stench. He tries to return the flowers to the flower merchant lady who does not take refunds. Then, a robot tries to rob the flower stand and Zoidberg fights him off with his stinky armpits. This wins the love of the flower merchant, and she doesn’t even mind his odor which is “smellier than a whorehouse’s outhouse.” Conveniently the flower merchant, Marianne, was born without a sense of smell. It’s a match made in heavenish.
At the local recreational center, Randy introduces the five “Tapquest” participants, including Petunia (that extra clicking you hear is her hip), a six-year-old named Tonya with a heart condition, and Bender in leg warmers. One participant will be eliminated each week, beginning with a slimy green thing, then Petunia, followed by a twenty-legged creature. Finally, it’s Bender versus Tonya in the championship round.
Zoidberg introduces Marianne to the crew and they wonder what’s wrong with her. He explains her lack of smell, and Farnsworth mentions the possibility of a nose transplant. Zoidberg must never let Marianne know about the nose transplant, for his own good. The two lovers go on a picnic and he picks her a flower. She says that she would give anything to smell a flower. Zoidberg tells her about the nose transplant that will let her smell everything, and she says that she wants the biggest nose he can find.
Bender plans to put tacks in Tonya’s tap shoes—the more she taps, the more she bleeds. But Tonya eavesdrops on his plan and Nancy Kerrigans his leg. Because Dr. Zoidberg is too busy with Marianne’s nose transplant, Bender has to patch up his leg with a Wacky Pack sticker. Then, it’s time for “some fancy shmancey dancey” in a tap-off. Bender loses his foot and dances on his hands. Tonya taps her way to victory, and Bender “never knew I could hate this much” and vows to tap dance on her grave someday…just as she drops dead of a heart attack. Bender does a jig on Tonya’s corpse and the “rhythmic chest compressions” bring her back to life. Because they’re both irredeemably evil, they join forces to rule the galaxy.
When Marianne finally smells flowers, she thinks they’re disgusting. Zoidberg, on the other hand, smells delicious because she never learned good smells from bad. All she knows is that she likes Zoidberg, so she likes the way that he smells. Aww.