Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
Today’s Celebrity Buzz is all about All My Circuits, starring the late great Calculon. The celebrated robot actor killed himself on stage, and loyal fans, including Bender and Fry, pay tribute at his gravesite. The show just hasn’t been the same since Calculon’s death. When Farnsworth lets them know that they can bring Calculon back to death, if they have his physical remains, Bender digs up his grave on live TV, and heeeere’s corpsie!
Calculon’s disembodied software is in limbo, so someone needs to go to Robot Hell and make a deal with the devil. Sounds like a job for Bender and Fry. When the Robot Devil hears it’s Calculon’s soul they are looking for, his ear-like protrusions perk up and he cuts a deal: If Fry wins, they get Calculon. If Fry lose, Robot Devil kills them. “Guess the number I’m thinking of, between one and three, not including one or three.” Fry guesses the letter “m,” and the Devil packs up Calculon’s soul in a to-go cup. Getting the soul back into Calculon’s robot body involves playing the installation disc backwards and a series of wireless networks. It’s working! His acting module is booting up! “Rosebud. By The Bard’s Quill, I’m alive!” After one long dramatic pause, Calculon is off to Hollywood.
The President of the network is not on board with Calculon’s return to All My Circuits because they are targeting a hip, new demographic. To add insult to injury, Calculon’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame has been replaced with yet another star for Robert Wagner. So, Calculon plans a career resurrection with the one-man show he wrote by himself for himself.The reviews are not pretty. “Worst Play In History.” “Calculon Dies For Second Time.” “Theater To Be Demolished To Remove Stink Of New Play.” Luckily, Calculon is immensely cheered up by dramatic pauses. Fry needs him back on television so that they can watch and not talk to each other, but Calculon is too dismayed over the reviews. And it moves Leela to tears, which is the first time she didn’t roll her eye at his performance.Leela concocts a plan to have a modest and sincere Calculon audition for a bit part on All My Circuits in disguise under the name Mr. Ben Derisgreat. But, the casting agents want him to audition for the role of…Calculon.
His acting is crap, and the director hates it, and Leela tells it to him straight—they should’ve left him dead because he can’t possibly do the scene. But it was all just a ruse to humble Calculon before the second take. And it worked. Unfortunately, he is crushed by the lighting equipment after just one scene, ends up back in Robot Hell, and gets a posthumous star on the Walk Of Fame.by