Reprinted with permission from www.travelfreak.com
Welcome back! The teams start out just where we left them, in Bora Bora. Team Pretty Pretty Pretty leaves first in the wee hours of the morning. The teams must take a water taxi to a beachside wedding chapel. Since the water taxi doesn’t begin operations until 7:30 a.m., everyone except for the Newlyweds and My Family Is Famous, who are waiting out a four hour penalty, catch up. Oh and remember that Express Pass Pact? Yeah, Pretty Pretty Pretty don’t want to give it up so fast. Instead, they bask in a whole lot of sucking up.
Detour! Teams must choose between Pick A Pearl or Take A Trunk. In Pick A Pearl, teams untie lines of clamshells, shuck them open, and collect two red pearls. In Take a trunk, teams wear one of those diving helmet things, drag a steamer trunk around, and set up an underwater picnic.
Everyone chooses Pick A Pearl except for Roller Derby. The Photo That Came With Your Picture Frame is in first place, but they take a shortcut and miss their snorkel gear which is awesome because they take a boat aaaaaall the way out to sea before realizing their mistake.
The Gyno Twins are both afraid of the water and contemplate taking the penalty which, come on, enough with the penalties. Teams should be required to do each task and if they can’t complete it, they’re out. The brothers give it another try, but are making zero progress.
Over at the underwater paradise, Roller Derby finished the task alone, and boy did everyone else miss out. It was way cooler and easier than diving for pearls. And, we finally get a glimpse of the Newlyweds and My Family Is Famous, who calculate that with the water taxi’s late start, they’re only an hour or so behind the other teams.
YouTube finishes the pearl dive first, followed by Pretty Pretty Pretty and Team Bro. They have to ride jet skis to Motu Tapu, the most photographed island in the South Pacific. Permullet and BFFs are next to the jet skis while The Gyno Twins continue to flail about in the water. After what seems like hours, The Gyno Twins switch to the other task.
Once on the beach, the teams must complete a Roadblock. Balancing on stilts, the teams must kick a coconut thirty-five yards across the sand. If they fall, they have to go back to the start. Once teams cross the line, they can run to the pit stop. Team Bro has no problem with this task because they play hockey and ice is just like sand. They race The Photo That Came With Your Picture Frame to the mat and the father twists his ankle, rupturing his Achilles tendon. Whoops! That’s going to hurt. For a long while. Pretty Pretty Pretty is right behind, and they all check in as teams one, two, and three. YouTube overtakes Permullet in a totally unnecessary sprint to the mat and they are teams number four and five.
The two teams in the back of the pack choose the trunk task, and the Newlyweds finish seconds before My Family Is Famous. Meanwhile, the BFFs are lost on their jet ski, headed out to the ocean. Apparently there’s a map that they were supposed to read, but they just start zipping around the entire island. I’m not sure what they expected to find—Phil clinging to a buoy? A shark handing them their next clue?
Roller Derby checks in as team number six, and that leaves four teams on the course: Newlyweds, My Family Is Famous, BFFs, and The Gyno Twins. The BFFs finally study the map (that is basically a drawing of an island and a red arrow pointing to the island) and get to the coconut kicking challenge first, but My Family Is Famous and the Newlyweds are close behind and overtake them, checking in as teams seven and eight. The BFFs continue to plug away at the task despite a blister that you’d think was an amputation from all of the fuss she was making and finish as team number nine.
The Gyno Twins had no problem with the treasure chest challenge, but it is too late to catch up to the rest of the teams. They are the last team to arrive and are eliminated from the race. Goodbye, brothers. I will miss typing your team name.
Next week, one team hobbles along on crutches as they all head to New Zealand.