Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Pete and Trudy are socializing with their not-so-buttoned-up neighbors who are a little raunchier than we’re used to in the Campbell residence. The women are asking Pete to hook them up with tickets to see Hair, and the men are suggesting that Trudy might be a furry.

In a flashback, we see a teenaged Dick Whitman in a whorehouse with his pregnant mother, along with a good helping of vintage lingerie. Next, Don is in bed with his neighbor mistress. Gasp! He’s paying her?

Pete has a pied-à-terre in Manhattan and a sexy blonde neighbor in a little black dress with some killer black lingerie underneath, complete with thigh high stocking and garters even though pantyhose had already been invented. As she’s getting dressed, she tries to make plans with Pete in the future, but he resists.

Back at the office, Don and Ken Cosgrove get a meeting with the ketchup division through their baked beans contact. Ketchup is unhappy with DDB and are interested in hearing what SCDP have to offer. Unfortunately, once ketchup is out of the room, baked beans tells Don to keep his hands off the ketchup division. You see, the spike in bean sales has been baked beans’ shining moment in the spotlight at Heinz, and the ketchup is trying to steal that spotlight by increasing its own sales. Don is inclined to keep the bird in hand, but Ken Cosgrove sees gold in them thar ketchup bottles. In the end, Don wins because Don always wins.

Megan is chastising the maid in the laundry room for putting her black lace bra in the washing machine rather than hand washing (which is a valid complaint). She also forgot the vacuum on the terrace, and “you’re fired.” As if on cue, Don’s mistress, Sylvia, walks in just as Megan breaks down in tears. They go up to the mistress’s apartment where Megan divulges secrets about her soap opera’s plot, and quickly segues into her real life recent miscarriage. She hasn’t told Don. Megan feels guilty for getting pregnant in the first place and didn’t know what to do, and then feels even more guilty that she was relieved that she didn’t need to do anything.

Herb, the client Joan spent the night with to get the Jaguar account (and the partnership), invades Joan’s office. She quickly shoes him out of there and into Don’s office, where he explains that he has some thoughts about the direction of the Jaguar campaign. Herb doesn’t want “another thing with some schmuck sitting on his lawnmower fantasizing that he’s going to win the grand prix driving a jaguar.” He wants foot traffic in Englewood, New Jersey. He wants real retail advertising. He wants to spend most of the budget on local dealership advertising rather than the national campaign, and he wants Don to recommend this strategy to the executives because it’s an idea, and Don is the idea guy. Pete wholeheartedly agrees because it will make Herb happy (he’s no different than Joan, except he gets to keep his clothes on), but Don sees his sexy Jaguar campaign slipping away.

Peggy has an interesting relationship with a SCDP copywriter. They talk all cutesy on the phone from their respective offices after everyone leaves at night. He tells Peggy about Don’s problems with ketchup, and Peggy tells her boss, and the wheels start spinning. The next day, Peggy’s boss tells her to find out everything she can about Heinz ketchup. She refuses because the information was told to her in confidence. Her boss tells her “your friend’s mistake was underestimating you. I hope ketchup makes the same mistake so you can blow their mind,” and hands her the file.

Megan plays sick so that she doesn’t have to go out to dinner with the neighbors. Just as Don, his mistress, and his mistress’s husband are seated, the husband gets a telephone call. It’s the hospital, a patient, an emergency, and he runs off, leaving Don and Sylvia alone. But she’s angry with Don, until he starts talking dirty to her, and then it becomes a thing about Megan and how she thought that the two of them weren’t getting along. He warns her against want more than what he has to offer, and the night ends in her bedroom. Well, her maid’s bedroom.

Pete’s mistress, Brenda, shows up on his doorstep, bleeding and battered. Her husband yells out “Hey Campbell, she’s your problem now!” Uh-oh. As Trudy tends to her cuts and wounds, Pete goes into quiet freak-out mode. When she gets Pete alone, she tells him that she wants to be with him in New York City. Wow. Who would’ve guessed that a night with Pete Campbell would be memorable? Trudy saves the day (doesn’t she always?) and drives Brenda to a hotel while Pete sweats it out at home. When she returns, she knows. She doesn’t say anything, but she knows. The next morning, Trudy lets him have it. All she wanted was for Pete to be discrete, which is why she allowed him to have the New York City apartment. Trudy, by the way, looks fabulous for a lady who just found out that her husband is having an affair. Gasp! She says it’s over, but she refuses to be a failure. “You will be here only when I tell you to be here.” She vows to draw a 50 mile radius around the house, and if he breaks the rules, “I will destroy you.” I love Trudy.

When Don returns from dinner, Megan tells him about the miscarriage. He tells her that he wants what she wants, and she wants a baby, so…yeah. Don is all about giving each of his ladies exactly what they want.

At the Jaguar meeting, Pete pitches the local media idea to the Jaguar executives. Don is having a hard time feigning the necessary enthusiasm, but it’s all part of Don’s brilliant strategy—he’s going to make the idea sound so bad that the executives will never go for it while still carrying out his client’s wishes. Herb is livid because he knows that Don did this on purpose, and if Herb’s not happy, then Pete’s not happy. “Why can’t you just follow the rules?” he asks, without an ounce of irony. It’s almost like Pete’s never met Don.

On his way home that evening, Don stops by his mistress’s apartment while her husband is home. She quickly tells him “tomorrow morning” before shutting the door. More flashbacks, and we see teenaged Dick Whitman crouching in the hallway, watching the owner of the whorehouse have sex with his pregnant mother. Then it’s back to present day, with Don Draper slumped in the hallway outside of his front door, completely unmotivated to go inside.

Next week, there’s Cosgrove, Megan, Joan, Pete, Don, Roger, and some guy with a beard.

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