Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com

Over on Omicron Persei 8, Jrrr’s father, Lrrr, is watching Help from Angels, the new cop show that follows the format of all cop shows ever. Lrrr takes a break to help Jrrr earn a merit badge for planetary invasion. But, he chooses the easiest plant in the galaxy to invade—Earth. Their spaceship lands at the White House because all spaceships land at the White House.

The Head Of Richard Nixon gets the door, and Lrrr lets him know that he’s there to invade his planet. The Head Of Richard Nixon and Zapp Brannigan immediately surrender. Jrrr wants to leave, but Lrrr reminds his son that “those bowels aren’t going to disem themselves.” So Lrrr kills Nixon’s second-to-last Agnew and Jrrr and Lrrr get home in time for their favorite cop show. To retaliate, The Head Of Richard Nixon cancels all “cultural exports,” including television.

Farnsworth sends everyone to Omicron Persei 8 on a mission to get the active ingredient for his Good News herbal supplement. When Hermes realizes it’s the Omicronic, he packs everyone onto the “Omicronian Express” and busts through the blockade. Then, he divides everyone into pairs to look for the weed.   Luckily Bender’s ass is leaking enchantment. Or, his electrofield is activating the weed’s luminescence.

Fry happens upon a castle and tells Bender to let him know if they need to cheese it. When Omicronians find them and the crew rushes back to the ship clutching their baggies filled with Omicronic, Fry gets left behind. Bender then spends the rest of the journey covering up for Fry’s absence and feeling sort of bad about it.

Jrrr goes outside to play skull ball by himself and finds Fry hiding in the shed, E.T. style, including a trail of Feces Pieces. Fry figures out that Jrrr’s father is Lrrr, and they bond over Lrrr’s horribleness.

“T text home? Update Facebook status home?” Unfortunately the embargo on “cultural exports” means no social media. Instead, Lrrr takes Fry on a bicycle ride through he sky to a tech dump. Fry uses the electronics to spell out “SOS.”

Bender is eventually so broken up over Fry’s absence that he starts drinking again. When he holds a bottle up to his eye, he is able to focus in on Fry’s SOS message. Meanwhile, Lrrr finds Fry hiding in Jrrr’s closet and insists that Jrrr kill him, probably to earn another badge. “It’s a nice day, you’ll take him out to the yard, and after you kill him, we’ll play catch with his bladder.” Jrrr faces his “beloved pet” with a gun, but instead of shooting Fry, he shoots a hole in the cage and escapes in a bicycle powered by love, which is an ordinary thing on that planet.

Jrrr takes Fry to a vet, Drrr, who gives him weed to ease the pain. Drrr then recommends putting him down. But Jrrr won’t let him, even when Lrrr shows up to do the killing for him. But good news! Nobody has to kill Fry because he already died. And then his ass starts glowing, and Bender shows up, and Fry says goodbye to Jrrr and returns to Earth.