It’s only nine minutes in, and Flowers In The Attic is already the schlockiest movie ever, even by Lifetime standards.

When a six-year-old kid is the best actress in the cast of several middling actresses, something ain’t right. And Heather Graham is the worst. The worst. Ugh. Well, I guess I’ll hold my nose and hate-watch the rest of this because, yeah. I’m hooked.

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