Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com
- Sexy Boxer (Jeff)
- Ring Girl (Annie)
Thing 1 or 2Calvin (Abed)
- Princess Leia (Shirley)
- Ham (Britta)
- Ring Girl (Dean Pelton)
Jeff thought that he was doing a couples’ costume with Annie as a boxer and the ring girl, but she’s the Ring girl, like from the movie. Luckily, Dean Pelton also dressed as a ring girl. Whew! Crisis averted.
Chevy Chase invades our television to tell us that he accidentally locked himself in his “panic suite” and needs their help getting out. Sexy Boxer notes that Chevy Chase is “a geriatric toddler throwing the most elaborate tantrums money can buy.” Nonetheless, they decided to stop by his mansion on the way to the party.
It’s all spooky mansion on the outside, but “like David Lee Roth threw up Miami Vice” on the inside. Chevy Chase indeed has a panic suite, and it has a video monitor so that the rest of the cast can see him, but they don’t actually have to film the scene with him. He informs the crew that the code is written in a red notebook either in the study or his bedroom.
Sexy Boxer smells a rat and doesn’t buy Chevy Chase’s story about getting locked inside while dusting, and it turns out that he locked himself inside while hiding from the ghost of his father. So, the mansion is conveniently haunted on Halloween.
Because people always split up in horror movies, Sexy Boxer and Ham wander around the mansion together in search of the bedroom while Calvin and Ring Girl are searching the study. Ring Girl finds a book that is called “Pierce Hawthorne’s Ideas for Ladies,” and it reads like a laundry list of female stereotypes. Meanwhile, Calvin locates a secret passageway behind the bookcase. When Ring Girl goes to look for him, she sees a ghost in a mirror.
Meanwhile, Hobbes and Leia wander off in a different direction and happen up on a door that Chevy Chase told Hobbes never to go in, so of course they enter. It’s his S&M room, though Hobbes just thinks it’s a fun room with a swing and a lot of dog collars. Ring Girl finds them while searching for Calvin. He is tucked away in a surveillance room, watching everyone on cameras. Calvin listens in on Sexy Boxer and Ham discussing Sexy Boxer’s daddy issues, which are manifesting themselves through Chevy Chase. Turns out he found his father’s phone number, but never bothered to call. When he rewinds the tape, Calvin sees Chevy Chase sleeping, and a shadowy figure is standing over him. Oooooh!
Sexy Boxer runs away from his problems and finds a liquor room, and the red notebook. The code is 1989, because of course it is. While Ring Girl, Leia and Hobbes wander around the hallways, Sexy Boxer ingests brown liquid and gets a taste of scary horror movie ghost action. There are also ghosts in the hallway, and everyone is running and screaming and bumping into each other.
The group ends up at the panic suite where Chevy Chase is playing dead. Turns out he faked a haunted house to get back at everyone for going to Vicki’s party without him. But he never hired anyone to stand over him when he sleeps, so who is that…it’s Gilbert, or Gustavo from Breaking Bad. He’s been secretly living in the mansion this whole time so Chevy Chase takes him in as a roommate.
Later, Sexy Boxer goes home and calls either his father, or a woman from the “Pierce Hawthorne’s Ideas for Ladies” book.