Sundays just aren’t the same without our weekly meth fix. The anticipation, the sweet, sweet payoff….But surely there is something we can do to take our minds off of the loss of Breaking Bad. Aside from starting your own meth lab, here are a few slightly more healthy and legal suggestions: 

• Cook an elaborate meal using only blue ingredients, and cereal doesn’t count. Not so easy, right? Good. It’ll keep you occupied for hours.
• Rewatch old episodes of Malcolm In The Middle and pretend like it’s Walter White in the witness protection program. Memes are only funny because they’re true.
• Read a book. If you must, read Walt Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass” and contemplate its meaning in the context of Breaking Bad.
• Get hooked on another AMC series. I hear Hell On Wheels is pretty good, and a new season of The Walking Dead starts October 13th.
• Oh, and there’s always talking to your fellow humans in real life, if you’re into that kind of thing.

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Walt climbs into a snow-covered car and waits for the blinking red and blue police lights to clear before starting the engine with keys that he found in the sun visor. He has direction and purpose for the first time in who knows how long, and he’s headed home.

Looking vaguely homeless, he stretches out in the New Mexico sun and grabs some pills and cash from the trunk of his car. He calls his old friends and business partners, the Schwartzes, pretending to be from The New York Times following up on their recent television interview. Walt waits for them to come home and turn the alarm off before walking inside for an unexpected reunion. He takes time to admire photographs and knickknacks before freaking them the heck out. “Hello, Gretchen. Elliott. I really like your new house.” He’s here to give them something in his car and asks them to take a walk.

The three old friends stack up what’s left of Walt’s money on a coffee table. “That is nine million, seven hundred and twenty thousand dollars.” He says that he earned it, and they are going to give it to his children. He has it all worked out. The Schwartzes will give it to Junior in ten months, on his eighteenth birthday, as an irrevocable trust to use for college and the betterment of his family. Walt can’t give it to his family himself because they hate him and don’t want the drug money, but coming from two rich benefactors who used to be very close to the White family would pass muster with Skyler and Junior, and the Feds. Smart, Walt. Very smart. And not at all crazy.

Suddenly, there are two red dots pointing at Gretchen and Elliot. Walt spent two hundred thousand dollars to pay off hit men to take them out if his family doesn’t get the money. Okay. Very very smart, and just a little bit crazy. “Cheer up, beautiful people. This is where you get to make it right.”

Once he leaves, Walt lets the two “hit men” into the car. It’s Badger and that other guy with laser pointers, and it makes me love all of them just a little too much. “What’s this I hear about blue meth still being out there?” They confirm that it is still being sold, and the two junkies are shocked that it isn’t still Walt doing the cooking. “Jesse.”

Speaking of Jesse, he has a little crafts project going in the woodshop. A box. A perfect wooden box that he loves and hugs and kisses….and then he snaps to and is chained up in a meth lab. We watch the scene from the beginning of the season of Walt inside his old home, taking the ricin from the back of the outlet. And we sort of know who the ricin is for while still having no earthly idea.

And then there’s Walt in that café, watching not-Matt Damon meet with Lydia. He pulls up a chair and asks them to listen for two minutes without screaming, running, or shooting. “You’re running out of methylamine, aren’t you? I did the math.” He tells them that he has a new method that doesn’t involve methylamine and can teach it to them. A coughing fit interrupts his scam. He needs the money, he spent almost all of his on the run, he only wants a million dollars, and the sudden appearance of the waiter ends their meeting. Was he there long enough to slip ricin into Lydia’s tea? No. Maybe. He knows where she goes for coffee on a regular basis, and she always sits at the same table. I’m guessing the non-fat sweetener is going to be the death of Lydia.

Walt is building a trap in the desert. There are guns and batteries and clamps and remote control thing-a-ma-bobs. He’s a man on a mission.

Skyler is sitting alone in a dumpy looking house, smoking her cigarettes like a good mom. She gets a call from Marie who lets her know that Walt is back. Skyler’s old neighbor saw him, and the police found a car he stole. After she hangs up the phone, we see Walt in the kitchen. He just wants five minutes, and she lets him talk. “It’s over, and I needed a proper goodbye. Not our last phone call.” He assures Skyler that those men who threatened to steal the baby are not coming back after tonight. He again tells that lie about spending the last of the money and gives her a lottery ticket. Walt tells Skyler to call the DEA, tell them that he forced his way in, that he wanted bacon and eggs on his birthday, and that he gave her the ticket. The numbers are coordinates of a burial site where they will find Hank and Gomez, and all of Walt’s money. He tells Skyler to trade it for a deal with the prosecutor to get herself out of this mess. Finally, Walt admits that he did all of this for himself because he liked it, and he was good at it, and it made him feel alive. He pets his sleeping baby on the head, watches Junior arrive home from school from the shed out back, and walks away.

Walt arrives at the Methies’ compound to teach them how to make meth without methylamine. After confirming that Walt is unarmed and unwired, the Methies let him inside of the clubhouse. Not-George Carlin tells Walt that they are not in the market for his new procedure. Instead, they will get a new batch of methylamine. Not-Matt Damon says, “You really shouldn’t have come back, Mr. White.” Then, there’s a gun to Walt’s head. But as soon as Walt drops Jesse’s name, and claims that Jesse is now partners, it offends not-George Carlin and he demands not-Matt Damon drag Jesse out of the lab immediately to show Walt that he is not a partner. While they’re waiting for Jesse, Walt is able to steal his car keys.

Jesse and Walt face each other and, without speaking, convey the desperation of the situation. Jesse wants Walt’s help. He needs his help. Walt tackles Jesse to get him to the ground was he pushes the button on his keyring, raining remote controlled bullets down on the Methies’ compound. Not-Meth Damon is still alive for about three seconds before Jesse brutally strangles him with his chains. Walt picks up the nearest gun and shoots a struggling not-George Carlin.

Jesse and Walt look at each other again. Walt slides the gun over to him. “Do it.” But Jesse won’t shoot until he hears Walt say that he wants this. And he does. But then Jesse spots blood on Walt’s midsection, puts the gun down, and tells him to do it himself. Jesse walks out a free man, owing Walt nothing.

Not-Matt Damon’s phone rings and it’s Lydia. She wants to know if it’s done. It is, but it didn’t go quite as planned since Walt picks up and explains that they’re all gone, and that under-the-weather feeling isn’t the flu. “Goodbye, Lydia.” Jesse and Walt face each other one more time outside, and Jesse gives Walt a smile and a nod before driving off and through the front gate. With his car all shot up and his stomach bleeding, Walt checks out the meth lab for old time’s sake while he waits for the police to arrive.

And that’s it. All of the loose ends have been tied up and the characters said what they needed to say to each other before…poof. Done. Though I’m guessing Jesse didn’t get very far speeding down a road that is about to be littered with police cars. It wasn’t a particularly exciting ending, but still. There are no unanswered questions and it was rather satisfying to watch Jesse kill not-Matt Damon. Sigh. No more Breaking Bad. Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing what these writers and actors do next because this really was a masterpiece.

Photo: amctv.com

Reprinted from survivingcollege.com

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The red minivan driven by The Guy Who Makes People Disappear pulls into a vacuum warehouse and spits out Saul. First order of business is a mug shot for Saul’s new Nebraska driver license. Then, Saul is sent below ground for a few days until the dust settles, during which time he will share a bunk with Walter White.

The group of meth manufacturers who I will refer to as The Methies ransacked Marie’s house and stole the video camera containing Jesse’s confession. When they play it back, they see Jesse ratting out not-Matt Damon for shooting the kid next to the train tracks. The Methies don’t understand why they should continue working with a guy who turned them in to the feds, but not-Matt Damon wants to cook and earn even more money. Everyone suspects it’s because not-Matt-Damon is sweet on Lydia, which who cares let’s find out what happens to Jesse and Walt!

Jesse is back in his dungeon, only this time he has a paperclip and gets to work busting out of the handcuffs. Walt is in a dungeon of his own underneath the vacuum repair shop and, rather than handcuffs, picks Saul’s brain. He wants a list of mercenaries so that they can go after The Methies. “You know a guy who knows a guy, just get me the contacts.” Saul thinks that Walt should stop all of this nonsense and stick around a while to take the heat off of his wife. He gives Walt props for the phone call, but explains that if they don’t have Walt, they’re going after Skyler and will “RICO your wife and kids out of that house.” And, getting money to Skyler will be impossible. Since Walt has limited time left on this earth anyhow, he should take his lumps and hope that the feds will let his family stay in the house.  But Walt doesn’t play for small potatoes—he wants to get the entire barrel full of money to his family. Because Saul may still be of some use, Walt tells Saul that he’s going with him. But Saul doesn’t want to go with Walt. He just wants the boring, low profile life he purchased, “just another douche bag with a job and three pairs of Dockers.” Walt still thinks that he’s running the show and growls at Saul, “Remember what I told you, it’s not over unti—cough cough cough vomit.” Yeah, that cancer doesn’t care about your plans, Walt. And with that, Saul is off to Nebraska to manage a Cinnabon.

After telling the feds that she has no idea where Walter is, Skyler grabs a smoke on her couch. Her house in under surveillance, but that doesn’t stop The Methies from breaking in and waiting for Sklyer in the baby’s room. “We got a lot of respect for your husband, there’s just something we have to straighten out.” The Methies want to make sure that Skyler doesn’t say anything to the police about Lydia, because Lydia traces right back to them. She swears, they’re convinced, and Skyler gets to keep her baby.

Not-Matt Damon meets Lydia for lattes in an upscale coffee shop, but they speak from separate tables since she’s a paranoid freak. Not-Matt Damon is convinced that Skyler is no longer a problem, but Lydia is risk-averse and wants to take a break from distribution…until she hears that the last cook was 92% pure because Pinkman is cooking for them. Lydia can’t resist the lure of pure blue meth and allows the operation to continue.

Walt finally arrives at his new home, via the cargo hold of a propane truck. “Mr. Lambert, welcome to New Hampshire.” His cabin has a month’s worth of food, a generator, and a wood-burning stove. It’s going to cost $50k for The Man Who Makes People Disappear to return with more supplies in a month. In the meantime, there will be no phone, no Internet, no communication at all because that leads to handcuffs. While there is nothing physically keeping Walt from walking the eight miles into town, once Walt leaves, The Guy Who Makes People Disappear will not return. So what’s the first thing Walt does once alone in his cabin? He unpacks his money, fills his pockets with cash, puts on his trusty Heisenberg hat, and begins the walk into town. But he doesn’t make it past the front gate before turning back. “Tomorrow. Tomorrow.”

Jesse is out of his handcuffs and teetering on top of his few meager possessions to try and reach the bars covering the pit in the ground, but he’s not quite there yet. Not-Matt Damon arrives with Ben & Jerry’s as a prize for cooking a batch that is 96% pure. Jesse asks him to leave the tarp off of the pit because he wants to see the stars. Later that night, Jesse re-undoes the shackles and tries for another escape—folded mattress, folded blanket, bucket, balance, and he’s dangling from the bars. A few American Ninja Warrior moves later, and Jesse unlocks the gate and escapes. He sees that the compound is surrounded by barbed wire fences and cameras and is caught before he even gets to the top of the fence. He begs The Methies to kill him, but they have other plans. Not-Matt Damon pays a visit to Jesse’s girlfriend, Andrea. He lures her out of the house by telling her that Jesse is in the truck, which he is, but he’s bound and gagged, and then not-Matt Damon shoots her in the head while Jesse watches. The Methies tell a despondent Jessie, “Now remember, there’s still the kid.”

One month later, Walt walks up to the gate again and sees a truck approaching. It’s The Guy Who Makes People Disappear with a delivery of newspapers and sundries. He also brings news of Skyler and the kids. Everybody is fine, there’s no court date yet, Skyler is doing taxi dispatch work for money, she’s using her maiden name, blah blah blah. He also brings Walt his chemo treatment, but gets up to leave as soon as he gets the access port for the IV inserted. Walt asks him to stay a little longer. “Two hours? I’ll give you another $10k. Please?” The guy bargains Walt down to $10k for one hour. “One of these days when you come up here, I’ll be dead,” he says. Then, Walt asks The Man Who Makes People Disappear if he would give the money to his family after he died. “If I said yes, would you believe me?”

At some point in the future, Walt grows so thin that his wedding band won’t stay on his finger. He strings it on a piece of twine and wears it around his neck. The twine gives him an idea. He fills a cardboard box with cash, wraps it in brown paper and twine, and leaves it on the front gate fence. I suppose a mailman might pick it up? I don’t really know how things operate in the Live Free Or Die state.

“Flynn White to the principal’s office, please.” There’s an important call from his Aunt Marie. But it’s not Marie, it’s Walt calling from a payphone in a bar. He made terrible mistakes, but the reasons were always good…things happen that were never intended…Walt needs to know if Flynn’s friend, Lewis, still lives in the same house. He is sending Lewis a package containing about $100k for Flynn. He says it’s all that would fit in the box, but I don’t know. There were at least two boxes in the cabin and Walt only filled one.  And then, Flynn unleashes the wrath. “You killed Uncle Hank, you killed him, what you did to mom, you asshole…I don’t want anything from you…why are you still alive? Why won’t you just die already, just die!” So…that went about as well as could be expected. Walt’s next call is to the Albuquerque DEA. Then, with his brown paper package in hand, he orders a drink and waits. But when the sheriffs arrive at the bar with guns drawn, Walter White is gone.

Next week is the end. Predication? I see Walt and Jesse finding themselves on the same side of the fight against The Methies, but Jesse will not live through it. Walt, I’m not sure. We know from the beginning of the season that he makes it back to his old house, but does he use the ricin on himself? It would spare his family a lot of agony, but unless he finds a way to get them that money, I can’t see him letting it all go or trusting it to a man who bargained him down from a two-hour visit. But I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

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Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com

Flashback to Jesse and Walt’s first cook. Wow, they really were hostile towards each other during MethLab: The Early Years. And Walt had such lustrous hair! Walt takes a break from work to practice his lie to Skyler before wandering off to a nearby rock to get cellphone reception. He tells his wife that he will be home a little late. Now, the RV is gone, Jesse is gone, Walt is gone, and the lies are gone.

Hank has been hit in the leg, and Gomez is definitely very much dead. As Hank crawls towards a gun, not-George Carlin stops him. From a nearby car, Walt begs not-George Carlin not to shoot him. “He’s family! He’s my family. He’s my brother-in-law.” But non-George Carlin can’t just let a DEA agent go because they just shot his partner. Walt tries to cut a deal—if Hank promises to let this whole meth kingpin thing go, he can walk out of there alive (which is kind of funny because Hank can no longer walk, for the second time). But when not-George Carlin says that there is no scenario in which Hank lives, Walt sweetens the deal. There’s money buried in the desert. Eighty million dollars, to be sort of precise. And all not-George Carlin has to do is let Hank crawl away. Hank, however, doesn’t make deals with bad guys and tells him to go f*ck himself so that at least he will die with integrity. “You’re the smartest man I’ve ever met and you’re too stupid to see, he made up his mind ten minute ago. Do what you g—” And with that, Hank is dead and Walt is weeping in the dirt.

It did not go unnoticed that Walt’s directions were very specific, and the team of bad guys set the coordinates and start digging. With just a few shovels of dirt, they hit the first barrel. As night falls, the barrels are replaced with bodies while Walt still lies limp on the ground. I wonder if he’s wondering where Jesse is, because I’m wondering that a lot. Not-George Carlin leaves Walt one barrel, uncuffs his hands, and instructs Walt to drive out of there with no more trouble. But Walt says that they’re not square just yet. “Pinkman. Pinkman. You still owe me.” While he was lying on the ground, Walt spotted Jesse hiding in a ditch underneath a car. He tells not-George Carlin to kill him, but not-Matt Damon has the brilliant idea to pump Jesse for information first about the DEA agents. As they drag Jesse towards the car, Walt tells Jesse that he watched Jane die. “I was there, and I watched her die. I watched her overdoes and choke to death. I could have saved her, but I didn’t.” Wow. That was pure evil. Now, it doesn’t matter what anyone does to Jesse because he is already completely and thoroughly dead.

Walt’s car runs out of gas thanks to a few bullet holes in the fuel tank. So he starts rolling his precious barrel of cash through the desert. He happens upon the home of a very old Native American man with an even more ancient truck and offers to buy the vehicle. It’s not for sale until a giant wad of cash appears through the fence.

Marie goes to the car wash to talk to Skyler. “I got a call from Hank, he arrested Walt three hours ago.” She explains about Pinkman, and that’s when Skyler knows it’s true. Marie says that she will support Skyler on the condition that Sklyer turn over every single copy of the tape Walt made to discredit Hank. She also insists that Skyler tell Junior about Walt because he’s going to find out from the officers soon enough anyhow. Let’s just say that Junior does not take it so good.

Over in Hell, Jesse is a bloody mess and chained up in a pit. But the next time not-Matt Damon comes to get Jesse, it’s not to smash him to a pulp. Instead, he brings him to the meth lab. Jesse has value beyond the information they beat out of him, and it’s time to cook.

With his new wheels, Walt drives himself home to pack up his family’s belongings just as Skyler arrives with Junior and the baby. “I need you to go into your bedroom right now and grab anything that is important to you.” Skyler wants to know where Hank is, because she knows that Hank had Walt in handcuffs and would not just let him go. Walt piles on another lie and unconvincingly says that he “negotiated” his way out. Skyler is not buying the latest line of bullshit, so he tries money. “Skyler, I have eleven million dollars in cash, we could have a fresh start. All we have to do is go, we have to go right now.” But she knows the truth. Well, sort of the truth. Hank is dead, and it’s a safe assumption that Walt killed him. Skyler grabs a kitchen knife and points it at Walt. “Get out…don’t say one more word, get out of here now.” When Walt tries to grab the knife away from her, Skyler slashes the palm of his hand. It turns into a wrestling match on the living room floor, and when Walt finally gets the knife out of Skyler’s hands, he pushes Skyler to the ground and reaches back as if to get a good running start for a stab. Junior tackles Walt and pushes him off of his mother and the two of them finally see the dangerous, deadly Walt. Junior calls the police, but Walt doesn’t stick around for them to arrive. He grabs the baby and drives away, leaving a hysterical and bloody Skyler running down the street after a beaten up old truck.

Walt washes the blood off of himself and the baby in a bathroom but realizes that his plan is not so well thought out when the baby starts crying for her mother. Meanwhile, the police put out an Amber Alert and Marie deals with the very real possibility that Hank is dead. With the police tracing the call, Walt calls Skyler to yell at her for not doing what she is told. “I warned you for a solid year, you cross me there will be consequences.” Smart, Walt. He is making sure that the police know Skyler had no choice in the matter and was only trying to protect her family from harm. Skyler picks up on his cues and meekly apologizes for disobeying his orders. Walt then leaves the baby in a fire truck with a note. He then sits at the side of the road to meet the man who makes people disappear. Unlike Jesse, Walt gets into the car.

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Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com

It’s amateur hour in the meth lab, with the bosses going masks-free, not-Matt Damon only achieving 76% purity, and a clear lack of a blue tint in the product. Lydia is not pleased. The meth must be blue.  Not-Matt Damon’s phone rings (nice “She Blinded Me With Science” ringtone, nerd). It’s Walt calling about the job he might have for his uncle. There’s just one target. Jesse Pinkman.

Hank waits under a highway for Gomez. Jesse is in the car, and Hank wants Gomez to hear him out. “Well I know some evidence that greedy asshole would never destroy. His money.”

Back at Hank’s house, the plan starts to take shape. Hank tosses a pile of organs on the floor and drizzles them with blood. “You’re up,” he says to Jesse. Hank and Gomez go to the safe house where Huell is being held. Hank explains that they have a wire on Walt’s phone, intercepted a call between Walt and Saul, and learned that Huell is the next one on the hit list. He then shows Huell a photo of Jesse looking deadish next to the pile of organs, and that’s enough for Huell. Hank suggests it might be because Huell knows where the money is, and that’s when Huell starts singing. Renting the van from Larry, the seven barrels, Walt returning a dirty car with a shovel…Hank now has enough information to move on to the second phase of Jesse’s plan.

Walt meets with not-Matt Damon’s uncle, who vaguely resembles George Carlin. Walt insists on a quick and painless death and tries to negotiate a rate. But the guy doesn’t want his money—he wants Walt to cook for him. Just a couple of times, to teach his nephew how to get the purity up and a healthy blue hue. Walt agrees to one cook, after the job is done. It’s almost like he can’t resist an opportunity to teach a young man about chemistry. Now the only problem is finding Jesse. Luckily, Walt has a plan. He pays a visit to Andrea, Jesse’s ex-girlfriend. “I don’t want to alarm you, but I’ve been trying to reach him for days….” She hasn’t heard from Jesse in about two weeks, so she tries calling Jesse from her own phone since he may just be ducking Walt’s calls. She leaves Jesse a message that Walt stopped by and is looking for him, and with that, Walt’s work is done. Only not so much, because Hank intercepts the message on Jesse’s Hello Kitty phone.

Saul shows up to the car wash in a panic and sporting a bulletproof vest because Huell is gone. Just then, Walt receives a photo on his phone. It’s a barrel of cash and a phone call from Jesse. Got my photo, bitch? That barrel look familiar? Because I just found six more exactly like it. Walt runs out of the car wash while Jesse rambles on about how he pistol-whipped the information out of Huell, the van had GPS…and now he’s going to light the cash on fire. Ten grand for every minute until Walt gets there. This causes Walt to drive like Lindsay Lohan on a bender out into the desert to save his cash. It’s the only thing he cares about, plus maybe a little bit his family.

Jesse, Jesse I’m here, where are you?

It takes a few seconds, but Walt eventually realizes he’s been had. He runs around with the phone to one ear and a gun in his hand, climbs up on a rock to get a good shot at Jesse, and sees a car. Hiding behind a rock, he calls not-George Carlin to let him know that he has Jesse in his sights. Walt then gives him the coordinates of the money because it’s the only way that anyone can locate him in the desert. But Jesse’s not alone, so Walt calls off the hit.

Hank has Walt in his sights, and Walt drops his gun and puts his hands up. “Walk towards me, slowly….” Hank handcuffs Walt and Jesse is watching, eyes wide, salivating, like a man watching a brand new porno. Hank is fairly proud of himself and lets Walt know that the photo was a sham. “Walter White, you have the right to remain silent….” But Walt still has one word for Jesse: Coward. Jesse spits in Walt’s face, there’s a scuffle, and Hank puts Walt in his car while Gomez keeps the second prize, Jesse.

The first call Hank makes is to Marie. He got him. It’s going to be a little rough for the next couple of weeks, but it’ll get better. I would’ve called someone at the DEA, but hey. There’s plenty of time what with Walter White in handcuffs and all, right? Wrong! Despite having called off the hounds, not-George Carlin, not-Matt Damon, and about four other surly looking men arrive with really big guns to take down Jesse. “POLICE! DROP YOUR WEAPONS!” Because they don’t believe that Hank and Gomez are cops and it’s better for business to take out two extra people than to not get their cook back, the men unleash a torrent of gunfire on Hank, Gomez, and Jesse, with some bonus rounds headed in Walt’s direction.

Unfortunately we’ll have to wait a whole entire week to see who comes out of this alive, but I would bet a barrel full of bills that Hank and Gomez are dead. Walt and Jesse, however, must be alive because it’s a terrible business move to kill the only two people in the world who know how to produce your product.

Photos: amctv.com

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Walt arrives home to find a strange car in his driveway, so he enters through the backyard, gun drawn. He sees the gasoline can in the living room and feels the soaked carpet underneath his feet. “Jessie? JESSIE! SHOW YOURSELF, RIGHT NOW!” Walt’s words are panicked, and his gun is unsteady as he makes his way around familiar corners. But Jessie is no longer in the house, and the car in the driveway has been abandoned.

Walt calls Saul’s guys for help cleaning up his house and asks Huell to check on his family, just in case Jessie goes after his son. Walt leaves Jesse a message. He says that he wants to fix this, whatever this is, and instructs Jesse to “sleep it off, and then call me.” Walt does not yet realize that Jesse doesn’t take orders from him anymore.

When the cleaning crew can’t get the gasoline smell out of the carpeting, Walt hatches a new plan that involves dousing his clothing in gasoline, splashing a bit on the interior of his car, and lying to his family. When Skyler comes home, he gives some spiel about a pump malfunction at the gas station and running home to take off his gas-soaked clothes…Skyler’s not buying it, and neither is Junior who thinks that Walt passed out at the pump from the fumes because he’s sick again. Since the house reeks of gasoline and there’s possibly a madman after them, Walt moves his family into a hotel.

Walt meets with Saul who has had the crap beaten out of him by Jesse. Saul and his men have looked everywhere, including Badger and Skinny Pete’s place, but cannot locate Jesse. Saul wants to know what Walt wants to do once Jesse turns up. “We were wondering if maybe this isn’t an Old Yeller-type situation.”  Everybody loved that mutt, but he showed up rabid and, well, kerblammo!  It was for Old Yeller’s own good, of course. But Walt refuses to endorse Jesse’s death, and instructs Saul to just find him. Fast.

At the hotel, Skylar pulls the information about Jesse out of Walt who assures her that Jesse has never hurt anybody. Sklyar insists that Walt “needs to deal with this.” Her rationale is that after everything they have done, “what’s one more?”

Flash back to Jesse dousing Walt’s house with gasoline and we see that he did it while high on drugs. Just as Jesse is about to light the house on fire, Hank bursts in and holds a gun on him, talking him down from burning down the house so that the two of them can burn down Walt, together. Hank takes a dead-eyed Jesse away in his car. But he doesn’t take Jesse downtown to the DEA. Instead, he gave him a couple of sleeping pills and crashes him out in the guest bedroom. While Jesse is passed out, Hank retrieves the phone message from Walt on Jesse’s Hello Kitty phone. The next morning, Marie offers Jesse coffee while Hank sets up a tripod. Hank’s boss, Agent Gomez, looks on. Jesse is nervous because if it’s Jesse’s word against Walt’s word, Walt’s word wins. “Just tell us your story, okay? Start from the beginning….”

Gomez believes the story Jesse told the camera, but the problem is that there is no physical evidence. Then Hank realizes that he has Jesse’s phone, and on it is a new message where Walt asks to meet Jesse at Civic Plaza at noon, to explain his actions and talk through everything, alone and unarmed. Hank wants Jesse to wear a wire. “So your plan is to do his plan?” Jesse asks. He can’t believe that Hank and Gomez are so naïve as to think that Walt isn’t going to shoot him right there in cold blood. Hank explains that Walt may be ruthless, but not when it comes to Jesse since he has gone out of his way to save Jesse time and time again. And he’s right. Except that was when Walt needed Jesse. Now, Jesse is a liability so there is no guarantee that the same rules will apply.

Walt is sitting on a bench in the middle of the plaza while Jesse is getting wired in Hank’s van, with Gomez listening in from a nearby car. Jesse sees something that doesn’t look right, a burly bald man watching from the corner of a nearby building. Jesse runs to a pay phone and calls Walt. “Nice try, asshole….I’m not doing what you want anymore…I’m coming for you…next time I’m going to get you where you really live.” Walt looks around and then leaves, passing the bald man without a glimmer of recognition. Hank picks Jesse up around the corner, and Jesse explains that there’s a better way to get Walt. But we’ll have to see which one gets gotten first because Walt then calls in a hit on Jesse.

Images: amctv.com

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Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com

Jesse’s Shady Santa Claus routine has attracted the attention of an entrepreneurial hobo. He begins collecting stacks of money from neighbors’ yards and finds Jesse’s abandoned car, which is filled with cash. The car’s owner is staring skyward in a nearby playground.

Walt emerges from Hank’s garage and has one last staring contest before driving off. He immediately calls Skyler, but she’s on another call. He sees with whom in the rear view mirror. Walt rushes to the carwash, but Skyler has already left to meet Hank at a diner. Hank is under the mistaken belief that Skyler has been coerced into keeping Walt’s secrets and offers her a way out. “You and the kids move back to our house where you’ll be safe.” He then turns on a tape recorder and wants Skyler to tell him everything. Now. In the diner. Skyler throws Hank a pitying look, sensing his desperation for information. He doesn’t have enough to bring to the DEA, and she knows it. Skyler quickly lawyers up because she’s far smarter than Hank could ever imagine. “Am I under arrest?” Skyler demands to know over and over again. When Hank can’t say yes, Skyler walks out.

Walt goes to Saul, who is trying to track down Jesse. “The money’s in the banana patch, get back to me.” Walt is pissed because Skyler went straight to Hank without talking to him first. Saul and Walt comfort each other with the notion that Skyler doesn’t really know about much of anything, other than the money. Saul then suggests sending Hank on a trip to Belize, where Mike went on an extended vacation. “It is an option that has worked very well for you in the recent past.” Walt refuses because Hank is family, but I wonder how long that loyalty will last.

Saul’s guys retrieve all of the money from a storage facility. Walt gives Saul a duffle bag filled with cash and says that he’s keeping the rest in case he needs Saul in the future, which is almost a guarantee. His final instructions are, “Just find Jesse.” Then, he drives a white van loaded down with money into the desert. He stops near an identifiable ridge and starts digging. It’s all very reminiscent of Season One, which makes Jesse’s absence palpable.

Meanwhile, Skyler is at home with her baby, desperately trying to get Saul or Walt on the phone. Marie is at the door, with Hank waiting a safe distance away. She lets Marie in but makes Hank wait outside. Marie realizes that Skyler has known about Walt for a long time, since before she walked into the pool. The car wash, the gambling story, since before Hank was shot…Marie gives Skyler a much-deserved slap across the face, scoops up the baby, and tries to leave the house. Naturally, Skyler flips the heck out. Hank barges in and urges Marie to put the baby down. She does, and they leave, and now that Marie sees her sister has chosen Walt over…well, over saving her family, she tells Hank, “We have to get him.”

Hank memorizes the coordinates of the buried treasure and then smashes his GPS device before returning to his house and collapsing on the bathroom floor in a giant heap of sunburn and undies. He comes to after about five hours to find Skyler patting his forehead with a damp cloth. Walt makes Sklyar promise that she’ll keep the money and never speak of anything. “Please. Please don’t let me have done all this for nothing.” She wants to know how Hank found out about it, and Walt admits that he screwed up. She tells Walt that he can’t give himself up without giving up the money, and suggests that Walt just stay quiet because Hank has “suspicions, not much else.”

A blindfolded Lydia is taken to a junkyard for a tête-à-tête with the guys running the operation. She wants to learn about their process so that she can help close up a $50 million shortfall. They are reluctant, but eventually walk her over to the secret hidey-hole in the ground that contains the meth lab. Lydia says the lab is filthy and nowhere near the standards of their predecessor. Her customers in the Czech Republic know their product and are complaining about the drop in quality. Suddenly, there’s a problem up above that Lydia looks like she anticipated. The men lock her in the lab where she ducks and covers until the shooting is over and her people come to get her. It looks like Lydia is the new Heisenberg, who was the new Gustavo.

The next morning, Hank starts working on his Plan B. Marie wants him to tell the DEA, but Hank insists that he doesn’t have enough pieces yet. “The day I go in with this, it’s the last day of my career.” There’s just no way to survive having chased a ghost for years, only to learn that it’s his your own brother-in-law. Marie worries that the agency will catch Walt without Hank, and they’ll know that Hank knew but said nothing. Which, yeah. Valid concern, Marie.

Hank arrives at the office and sits quietly at his desk. After a round of friendly ribbing from his coworkers, he sets up a conference call with the head of the department. He then learns that Jesse Pinkman has been picked up for tossing millions of dollars all over Albuquerque (which I was unaware was a crime). Hank cons the officers into letting him take over the interrogation for a bit, but we’ll have to wait until next week to find out how Hank handles Jesse, and vice versa.

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Reprinted with permission from www.survivingcollege.com

The final season begins with a flash forwards. A newly-bearded Walt arrives at his former home, which has long since been abandoned. Someone spray painted “Heisenberg” on the living room wall, and bugs inhabit Skylar’s once-clean kitchen countertops, and kids are skateboarding in an empty pool. Walt retrieves a small vial from behind an outlet cover in the bedroom that I assume contains ricin. On his way back to the car, he sees his neighbor. “Hello, Carol.”

And now we’re right back where we left off last season—with Hank in the bathroom, where he makes the “WW” connection and possibly a number two. He emerges from the bathroom shaken yet determined, shoves the book in his bag, and comes up with a flimsy excuse to get himself and his wife away from the White residence. Hank’s anger rises as he drives, and soon he is unable to focus on the road. He crashes into a yard and has a panic attack. Once home, Hank gets to work matching handwritten notes from his file to the inscription in the book. He quickly confirms that yes, his nerdy chemistry teaching brother-in-law is Heisenberg.

Walt is visited at the car wash by Lydia, who feels like she got a raw deal because he left her with a shambles of an operation. She wants him to “get the ship back on course,” but Walt insists that it is no longer his concern.  As they are talking, Skylar spots something fishy about Lydia—she’s washing a rental car. After confirming with Walt that Lydia is part of the business, she tells her to get out and never come back.

Hank has a few boxes delivered to his garage. It’s the Heisenberg file, and he’s looking at it with fresh eyes. The dots are starting to connect when Hank gets a flas of recognition from the grainy video of Walt and Jesse stealing a barrel from the factory and that doodly sketch of Heisenberg…it’s Walt. It’s definitely Walt.

Jesse is watching his buddies get baked. As Dummy #1 tells Dummy #2 about the Star Trek script he’s writing (it involves space and blueberries, possibly together), Jesse walks out with his duffle bags of cash and heads over to Saul Goodman’s office. Jesse tells Saul that the bags contain $5 million and instructs him on who gets what, including Mike’s granddaughter because “it’s what Mike wanted.” Saul tries to talk Jesse out of his charitable giving campaign since it will surely set off too many red flags, but Jesse won’t budge. Once he leaves, Saul calls Walt.

Walt pays a visit to Jesse and returns the duffle bags. He also gives Jesse a pep talk. “This is your money! Come on, you earned it!” Jesse is dressed in black, Walt is dressed in white, and only one of them can move past the darkness. Jesse thinks Mike is dead, and that Walt knows it. Walt just flat out lies to his face, convincingly.

With the Jesse problem semi-contained, Walt goes home to have dinner with his family. But he doesn’t even make it through the meal without running to the bathroom to vomit. While praying to the porcelain god, he notices that his Walt Whitman book is missing. Sklyar laughs off Walt’s suggestion that Junior took it because kids don’t steal literature. Later that night, Walt goes outside to think. In a moment of panic, he searching underneath his car and finds a tracking device. That’s when he knows that his days of freedom are numbered.

A homeless man wanders through a parking lot and finds Jesse sleeping in his car. Jesse gives the man a wad of cash and drives off. He then chucks cash at every rundown, decrepit-looking house in the neighborhood like a strung-out Santa Clause.

The next day, Walt pops in on Hank. He sees the boxes in Hank’s garage and knows that he knows. In a bold move, Walt asks Hank about the GPS tracker on his car. In an even bolder move, Hank shuts the garage door and the two men have an evil eye staring contest before Hank takes a swing at Walt. “It was you. All along it was YOU! You sonofabitch.” Walt tells Hank that his cancer is back and in six months there won’t be anyone to prosecute, so “what’s the point?” He makes a good argument. Hank shows a bit of fear and says that he doesn’t even know who he’s talking to anymore. In the coldest moment of the episode, Walt tells Hank that if he really doesn’t know who he’s dealing with, “maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.”

Well I never do this, but here are my predictions for the rest of the season: At some point soon, Walt will need to kill Hank. Unable to do it himself, Walt will try to recruit Jesse for the miserable task. Jesse will half-ass the job (or farm it out to Dummy #1 and Dummy #2), leaving Hank alive. That’s when Walt packs up his family and ships them far away and stays behind to finish off the job himself. With the ricin, of course. Wacky antics ensue, the final episode is a musical with a rousing final number called, “Meth Is Blue,” and, somehow, Saul Goodman ends up with all of the cash and none of the authorities on his tail.

All images via AMC

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