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Project Runway, Episode 10: There’s No Crying In Fashion

misslinda — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 16:35:15 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

The judges switch up the teams again, because teams! Chaos! Conflict! Good television! This week’s teams are as follows:

Stanley and Polka Dots
Daniel and Layana
Wind Chime and Hallmarq

Heidi ships the contestants off to the Guggenheim Museum, where Tim explains that they must create one piece of whacked out wearable art, and a second complimentary commercial ready-to-wear look. And, they will be making their own textiles using touch screens that are not iPads.

Polka Dots and Stanley are both inspired by the same paintings so they are working on the two outfits together, in peaceful harmony. Daniel talks whimsically about giant sculptural thing-a-ma-bobs, which concerns Layana because pretty things should be pretty. Wind Chime is inspired by “Rectangles, circles, all of that,” while Hallmarq cowers in the corner, confused.

For the textile, Stanley and Polka Dots draw an ugly bright yellow squiggle face and hit the “repeat” button. Wind Chime and Hallmarq make triangles. Whoo, live life to the fullest, kids. Layana and Daniel make rectangles. I haven’t had this much excitement since my last bowl of oatmeal.

And now it’s time for The Workroom Breakdown, starring Layana as The Drama Queen. Daniel tries to save Layana from her dark mood, but Layana says Daniel is a lousy partner because he can’t fix her awful design. So…wouldn’t that make Layana the worst partner of all? When Layana finally feels creative enough to design again, she hogs all of the fabric. Like, all of the fabric. Daniel has to beg her for less than a yard of fabric so that he can make a skimpy skirt. Teamwork! Yay!

After all of the bitching and moaning, Layana makes a boring, flat, lifeless skirt that isn’t anywhere near avante garde. Tim gives it a 12 out of 100 for creativity, and Layana brings out her secret weapons—tears and whining. “This is such a big challenge, and I feel like I have nobody who can help me!” Um, honey, this is a competition. If you can’t help yourself, it’s time for you to go home.

To the very short runway show! The judges this week are Rachel Roy (filling in for Zac Posen, who is filling in for Michael Kors), Nina Garcia, and fashion designer Tracy Reese.

Layana’s crazy tulle dress is nice, but not at all modern or even original. Daniel’s ready-to-wear version, however, is a super cute mini skirt with a slick black wrap jacket. Wind Chime went balls to the wall with this challenge, binding her model’s arms in a painted wrap and draping a trail of fabric poop behind her. Hallmarq’s ready-to-wear dress is…a mess. Polka Dots designed a zombie apocalypse funhouse army uniform, and Stanley made a killer giant a-frame dress for the more commercial look.

The judges love Stanley’s dress. Love it, love it, love it. Love. And Polka Dots’ dress isn’t half bad, either. Hallmarq and Wind Chime receive polite smiles from the judges. Heidi immediately wants to know who did what, and it becomes clear that Hallmarq struggled with the fabric, causing a battle between pleats and wrinkles.

Layana tries to talk her way through judging, moaning about a dark, dark place called The Workroom. Daniel’s look was Heidi’s favorite, and she calls the jacket “killer.” Nina describes Layana’s look a “hodgepodge,” and Tracy Reese calls it old-fashioned. Naturally, Layana takes credit for Daniel’s look and then summons up a few tears for backstage because Daniel didn’t acknowledge all of the non-work she put into Daniel’s garment. Or, rather, “our garment.” In sum, Layana wants credit for both outfits and feels “so betrayed” by Daniel. Oh. Mah. Gawd. Millennials, always reaching for an extra participation prize.

Wow, Rachel Roy does not like Layana’s dress. She calls it everything from bad pageant wear to a Kentucky Derby gone wrong. Heidi hits the nail on the head: I do think Layana thinks she is the cat’s meow. Meee-ow indeed!

Stanley and Polka Dots are the winning team, and the win goes to Stanley for that rockin’ tent dress that I would so wear the heck out of. Wind Chime and Hallmarq are the losing team, which means Layana can stop crying now. But now it’s Wind Chime’s turn to cry like a small child who lost her pet rock, and all for nothing because she’s in. Which means Hallmarq is out. Goodbye, Richard Hallmarq. You did some really solid but forgettable work this season.

Next week, no more teams. Instead, cast-off Project Runway losers will offer lots and lots of help.

Project Runway Episode 8: Tearing Away and Cracking Up

misslinda — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 15:37:04 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Okay there’s a lot that happens on the runway this week, so we’re going to just zip on through the whole making of the clothes thing and get right down to business. The contestants are split up into two teams of four, and the judges decide who will be working together. The designers give themselves cringeworthy names:

Team Hip and Slick

Layana, Hallmarq, Amanda, and Samantha

Team Fifty Shades Of Grey

Daniel, Wind Chime, Stanley, and Polka Dots

The teams have only one day to create three performance outfits for the cast of Thunder From Down Under, which is a male strip show comprised of oiled up Australian muscley men. Or so I’ve heard. The performers will also be the models, so the clothes must fit their bulging bodies. Oh, and did I mention that they need to be tear away clothes?

So there’s sewing, there’s stitching, there’s velcroing, there are naked men all over the workroom, and welcome to the runway!

The judges this week are Zac Posen Kors, Nina Garcia, actress and singer and star of Shameless Emmy Rossum. Two designers from the winning team will be the winners of this challenge, and one designer from the losing team will be out.

First up is the horribly named Slick and Hip. Hallmarq and Samantha made a tuxedoish shirt and black pants. The vest is too short, but the pants at least fit reasonably well. Hallmara and Amanda made a mess of a white shirt that’s way too long with a too-short tie and…weird pants. Layana, Hallmarq and Amanda made a jacket that is too tight in all the wrong places, and it’s basically the worst suit ever.

I’m embarrassed for this team. But wait—do the clothes tear away? No. It’s a dance routine. Oh, what? They lost their shirts! AND THEIR PANTS!!! Heidi forgot to vote and Nina is battling Zac for the smelling salts.

Next is Team Shades Of Grey. Daniel and Wind Chime made a baggy, boring trench coat and a decent pair of pants. Stanley designed a forgettable suit that’s a little sloppy. Polka Dots’ outfit is a weird angular vest that’s too short here and too pointy there, with shiny pants that do very kind things to the performer’s posterior.

And it’s show time! Dancing! Tear away shirts! Almost tear away pants! Oh man, this is not good. The dancers are stuck in their pants! Nina, go help them out of their pants!

So, how’d they all do? Heidi would like to vote them all out. Shades Of Grey is the winning team, but only because Slick And Hip sent an absolute disaster down the runway

The judges talk to Fifty Shades Of Grey first. Nina’s annoyed that they didn’t bother doing anything creative, and Zac Posen Kors thinks the performers look like the weirdest office ever. Polka Dots made the most “palatable” look, but that’s not saying much at all. Heidi calls Stanley’s suit a “rental suit,” and Zac Posen Kors says “the middle shirt is just terrifying for me.” If this is the winning team, I can’t wait to get to the losing team.

Slick and Hip offers excuses, excuses, excuses. Layana confesses to making the jackets, Hallmarq sewed the shirts, and Amanda designed the pants. Samantha made a vest and pants that Heidi thinks is the best of the three. Hahaha, the seams in one of the model’s pants are slowly bursting and Nina is in a fit of hysterics and she cannot stop laughing.

The judges try to wrap their heads around what Team Shades Of Grey sent down the runway. Zac Posen Kors explains that it’s really not that complicated to make a man’s shirt, and it’s actually easier because there aren’t any boobs. Pant legs were different lengths, jackets were simultaneously too tight and too loose, shirt collars drooped, and Heidi suggests sending both Hallmarq and Amanda home.

The judges universally like the look Polka Dots presented the best, even if they didn’t like it at all. The only thing Zac Posen Kors would wear out of the entire runway show is that snore of a trench coat, and he would have put a belt on it, which prompts jokes about how big the belt needs to be and how the coat is “hiding the thunder,” and the judges have finished their transformation into giggling teenaged girls.

Heidi announces that tonight, in a Project Runway first, there is no winner. Team Slick And Hip is in, and they take Samatha and Layana from Team Shades Of Grey with them to go lick their wounds. Now it’s down to Richard or Amanda, Richard or Amanda. It’s a tough decision, but the judges decide to give Hallmarq another chance and kick ol’ Amanda to the curb.

Next week, the designers are creating ready to wear looks for Lord and Taylor, and Stanley and Wind Chime are ready to kill each other.

Project Runway Episode 7: Duck, Duck, Charmeuse

misslinda — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 15:14:53 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Heidi arrives on the runway with a duck. She doesn’t explain her new feathered friend, but instead sends the designers back to the workroom, where they are confronted with miles and miles of Duck brand duct tape.

The challenge is to create a prom dress out of duct tape in less than one day that will be voted on by a gaggle of sixteen-year-olds. Well, their votes only matter a little. Everyone is working in teams of two because teams make contestants happy, and they will collaborate on one outfit. Since Stanley won the last challenge, he gets to pick his teammate first. The teams are:

Stanley/Layana
Kate/TuTu
Polka Dots/Amanda
Richard/Hallmarq
Wind Chime/Samantha

Apparently modern duct tape isn’t just that unruly silver goop ring holding the bumper onto your 1978 Chevy. The workroom is overflowing with rolls and rolls of different colors and patterns, yet Hallmarq totally bogarts every last roll of gold tape so that he and Richard can make something that Beyonce or Rihanna would wear. Other teams are pissed that they’re hogging all the precious gold. My precious!!! Tricksy contestants takes all the gold rings!

Stanley and Layana are creating a black-and-white zebra print dress that lacks pop. Wind Chime is making Samantha very nervous. When Tim arrives, the designers look like a herd of deer in the headlights. Richard and Hallmarq’s dress looks like a baked potato, so they switch it up and are now creating a gold sexy dress that gets a “wow” from Tim Gunn. Amanda and Polka Dots create a giant houndstooth print for a punk rock prom dress that looks cool, but is taking forever. TuTu and Kate are crafting a basic blue dress that puts Tim to sleep.

That night, the contestants have a fashion show for the teens in a high school gym. There are a lot of questions about wrinkling tape and how you sew a zipper into a tape dress, and all of the teens have pretty strong opinions.

Runway time! Heidi brings the contestants the vote count from the teens. Surprisingly, Wind Chime and Samantha get the most votes from the students. Kids these days, amirite? Our judges this week are Zac Posen Kors, Nina Garcia, and fashion designer Chris Benz. Bring out the models!

Polka Dots and Amanda’s dress is a good runway look with its sharp angles, bright color, and swishy movement. Stanley and Layana created a cartoon of a dress with an exaggerated pink bow that I might consider wearing to a cartoon prom. Richard and Hallmarq made the dictionary definition of a prom dress if that dictionary was printed in 1984, but kudos to them for making duct tape look like leather. TuTu and Kate’s blue prom-y prom prom I’m going to prom, y’all! dress is such a snore. Wind Chime and Samantha’s dress is…different? I guess it’s kind of cool, but maybe too cool? Yes, that’s it. The dress is too cool for school.

It’s time to face the judges. Wind Chime and Samantha explain the complex gradient design they created out of tape. Heidi loves it, and Nina calls it Faaaaaabulous! I don’t know. It looks like a globby craft project to me. Kate and TuTu try to talk their way around their blah nothing. It’s called square, not fun, matronly, cliché, and oooooold fashioned. Stanley and Layana explain their cartoon thoughts, and Nina loves it. Polka Dots and Amanda confess that they set out to design a dress for the bad influence in the class. Mission accomplished, ladies. Last but not least, the judges have a field day with Hallmarq and Richard’s solid gold catastrophe. Heidi calls it dated, Zac Posen Kors has a problem with the details on the design, and Nina calls it a train wreck.

In the end, the judges give the win to the team of Polka Dots and Amanda, and Polka Dots gets the crown. Wind Chime and Samantha are close behind and are also sent to the back with Stanley and Layana. Hallmarq and Richard get a little more scolding before joining their fellow contestants.

So now it’s between Kate and TuTu. The judges don’t know who TuTu is as a designer and send him home. And then, just because the dress was really and truly terrible, the judges send Kate home as well. Huh. Didn’t see that coming.

Next week, the clients and models are the greasy, bulging men from Thunder from Down Under. Wow. It’s almost like Lifetime is pandering to its core viewing audience of middle-aged women from landlocked states.

Project Runway Episode 6: Grannies On The Runway

misslinda — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 15:10:21 +0000

After her teammate was eliminated last week, Polka Dots is the lone wolf. To remedy this situation, Heidi swings the button bag and draws the name of the team Polka Dots will join: Wind Chime and Layana! Ha ha, poor Polka Dots.

The contestants visit an old age home and watch the biddies jazzercize. Tim walks in but nobody notices because he fits right in with this crowd. He tells the contestants that they must design timeless looks for these lovely ladies who don’t have much time left. They are each assigned a client, who have names like Beatrice, Ida, and Bunny. The clients are giving input that includes: I like leopard; make it sexy; like a gypsy thing; be a slut.This could be a spectacular disaster.

Amanda is trying to make a structured dress out of flowing vintage housecoat fabric. Blondie is designing either a fabulous top and bottom, or a matronly outfit. Daniel is driving Samantha nuts with his questions while he designs a sexy black suit, and Samantha is designing a leopard something-or-other. Layana is gossiping to Polka Dots about Wind Chime. They’re all working independently because there is no Wind Chime in “team.” Tim makes a threesome joke and is worried about Wind Chime’s poncho. Hallmarq’s jersey dress goes for comfort over style. Stanley is worrying Tim with a modern leisure suit. Kate is creating a heavy top with a spring skirt. TuTu is designing a coat dress that will take him forever to sew.

The ladies arrive for their fittings, and it’s kind of funny to see the outfits on elderly women instead of models. Stanley gets goosed! These women are bad! Speaking of bad, Wind Chime’s poncho is terrible, TuTu’s not going to finish in time, Blondie’s dress is frump city and way too tight, and Amanda is embarrassed about her dress.

To the runway! This week’s guest judge is the incomparable Joan Rivers. Because she couldn’t find a babysitter, she brought along her kid, Melissa. They join an Rachel Roy and a rather orange Nina Garcia.

Polka Dot’s dress is pretty and moved really well on the runway. Layana’s dress is a little young for a grandma, but she looked good. Wind Chime made…what is that? Did she staple fabric together? It’s awful and lumpy and ugh! Stanley’s pants suit is killer in a shiny gunmetal grey. Hallmarq made a jersey dress from H&M, but it’s a really good jersey dress. TuTu’s dress looks better than expected considering it’s poorly stitched and a bad fit, but he’s going to have a lot of explaining to do during judging. Kate’s top and skirt are fun and cute and would look great on a cruise ship. Samantha’s leopard outfit is full of attitude but a little disjoined. Daniel’s pants suit has some nice touches, but it’s hard to see the details in that black fabric. Amanda’s dress is much too young and dumpy, and there’s something weird happening in the back. Blondie’s model is squeezed into her dress so tightly that she may lose feeling in her arms. Also, it’s very mother-of-the-bride. Sigh. I miss Michael Kors.

Michelle and Layana get the highest scores from Heidi, but yet again Wind Chime is dragging them down so their team is merely safe. This is supposed to be a lesson in teamwork, but it’s more of a lesson in get-Wind-Chime-out-of-there-already.

The judges like Daniel’s black suit, but they don’t love it. Samantha’s leopard dress is a hit with Joan who calls the look “menopausal kitten.” Heidi and Nina don’t like it because the sleeves are too poofy and the bow makes it too young. Stanley’s shiny suit is fantastic, except the pants are too short and the crotch is not perfect (come on, Heidi! These ladies are old, how perfect do you expect their crotches to be?). Hallmarq’s asymmetrical jersey dress is a big hit with all of the judges because they would love to wear it themselves. Nina, however, does not like that the dress drowns her in fabric.

And now for the bad. The judges simply do not like Amanda’s dress. Joan is glaring at it, and Rachel Roy calls it a mistake on top of a mistake. Blondie’s client loves her dress so Heidi rips it to shreds. TuTu admits that his sewing is horrendous and the fabric is swallowing his client. Joan calls it an old lady dress. Ouch. Kate’s outfit pleases her client and the judges, so that makes TuTu the bottom.

The judges deliberate and it’s clear that Blondie and Amanda are both in serious trouble. “I have no trust in Amanda as a designer.” “I don’t know, I don’t have trust in Benjamin either.” That ain’t good.Stanley gets the win with his snazzy gunmetal suit, and Stanley and Hallmarq get to leave the runway. Daniel and Samantha, and Kate and TuTu, are also in, which leaves Blondie and Amanda. “Benjamin, you are out.” So that’s it for Blondie and his bowties.

Next week, duct tape and high school students? What a great combination!

Project Runway Episode 5: A Little Bit Country

misslinda — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 16:16:57 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Cowboy Tim puts everyone in a country western frame of mind because this week, they’re designing for Miranda Lambert. Everyone seems to know who she is except for Polka Dots who looks confused and horrified. The contestants will work in teams of two and create two looks per team—a performance outfit, and a red carpet look. For the performance outfit, Miranda wants something from the Donny and Marie show. Miranda would like to look chic and young and fresh on the red carpet while she celebrates her curves.

As the winner of the last challenge, Samantha gets to choose her partner first. Here are the pairings:

Samantha/Daniel
Hallmarq/Stanley
Wind Chime/Layana
Matt/Polka Dots
Kate/TuTu
Amanda/Blondie

Samantha is making a leather motorcycle vest with a pleated skirt, and Daniel is designing a long dress with strips of leather ruffle fringe. Layana is ruching everything she can gets her hands on, and Wind Chime is making something out of gold tapestry and leather. Kate is designing a red leather mermaid dress, and TuTu is “doing a Gaga” with a costume that leaves Tim speechless. Tim and Kate try to talk TuTu out of his catastrophe, but he seems pretty attached to his design.

Stanley is using even more sparkles than last week, and the week before, and the week before…and Hallmarq is sewing a mesh dress with fringe and chains, but there’s not a lot of coverage so we may get a peepshow on the runway. Amanda’s talking about fringe, and Blondie’s making a corset dress. Polka Dot’s creating a bodice and skirt out of wrinkled leather, and Matt’s designing a leather and lace outfit that worries poor Tim.

Matthew doesn’t have a skirt to go with his barely finished bodice, and Hallmarq doesn’t even have any fabric to use as lining under his “I see London, I see France” dress. So Hallmarq gets creative and uses the souvenir Mood t-shirt he bought to make a tube dress for the lining. Meanwhile, Daniel is shredding the hem of his skirt with a fork (no, I’m not kidding), TuTu is doing some desperate last-minute sewing, and Stanley is glue-gunning a dress onto his model.

To the runway! The judges this week are Zac Posen Kors, Nina Garcia, and the songstress herself, Miranda Lambert.

Amanda’s fringe dress looks ordinary but it has a good bounce when it walks so I bet it pleases Miranda. Blondie’s red carpet navy blue dress is pretty…but there’s sparkle fringe just on one boob, which is a weird thing to do to a breast. TuTu’s nutty outfit is very…futuristic? And completely the wrong direction for this challenge? Kate’s red carpet look is way too red and it looks inexpensive. Samantha’s little black number has a nice vest and a forgettable skirt, and Daniel’s outfit looks like a Dynasty reunion. It’s almost as if Daniel is begging for elimination.

Matt’s black dress is too simple, too short, too pasted together, and Polka Dot’s dress is from the wrong era. Hmm. That team is in trouble. Wind Chime’s concoction is insanely fringed, and I like it and hate it at the same time. Her teammate Layana made a very elegant and refined gown. Hallmarq’s fringe and metal dress works perfectly for this challenge, and Stanley’s sparkle is so subdued and classy that I barely recognized it when it came down the runway.

The judges like Stanley and Hallmarq, and Blondie and Amanda. Hallmarq’s net dress is a hit with everyone, and Stanley gets high marks for his elegant dress even though both Nina and Heidi worry that it’s too much fabric for Miranda. Blondie’s one-fringe-boob is okay with the judges because they’re drunk (that’s the only way that I can reconcile the judges gushing over one giant pasty), and Amanda receives a heaping of praise for a fringe dress that’s a bit of a snore.

The judges have some problems with Daniel and Samantha, and Matt and Polka Dots. Heidi thinks Polka Dots’ head-to-toe leather dress would put Miranda on the Worst Dressed List, and Zac Posen Kors correctly identifies the giant fringe leather necklace as linguini. Matt’s dress just makes everyone sigh because it’s a sad dress with absolutely no wow factor. Daniel’s old-fashioned dress is just cheap and icky, and Nina says it looks like “a cross between a tablecloth and a napkin.” Samantha has immunity so she is safe, but the judges all prefer the outfit Samantha is wearing to the boring dress she designed for Miranda.

This week’s winner is Hallmarq. Yay, good for you, now leave the runway and take Stanley, Amanda, and Blondie with you so we can get down to business. Samantha has immunity so she’s in, but everyone else is on the chopping block. Daniel’s dress looks cheap, the judges question Polka Dot’s taste level, and Matt is out for showing the judges bland insecurity. Avidazen, Matt (air kiss, air kiss).

Next week, the contestants are designing for Lifetime’s core audience, grandmothers!