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Project Runway Season 12, Episode 3: Unconventional Challenge

misslinda — Fri, 02 Aug 2013 15:51:52 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

This week’s episode of Project Runway kicks off on the Coney Island boardwalk, and is sponsored by frozen yogurt. Like, really, really, really sponsored by a frozen yogurt, because nothing says fashion like froyo! The designers will be working in teams of two, paired up by the Dreaded Button Bag:

Alexander and Justin
Kate and Helen
Jeremy and Ken
Sue and Sandro
Braydon and Karen
Dom and Alexandria
Timothy and Miranda

The teams have fifteen minutes to hand out samples of frozen yogurt and receive “sensory descriptive words” that will have absolutely nothing to do with the challenge. Tangy, fluffy, luxurious, arousing, happy, Raspberry Town….Each team must collaborate on one look made out of whatever prizes the designers win from carnival games. Moles whacked, goldfish pelted with ping-pong balls, Timothy wins a unicorn, and time is up.

When the designers slice open their carnival prizes, the Styrofoam pellet filling gets everywhere. There isn’t a lint brush in the world that can handle this mess. Tim Gunn will not be happy about the condition of his workroom.

Dom and Alexandria are making what looks like kiddie clothes, there are lots of bodices made out of vinyl and straw (including a killer one from Helen and Kate), and Karen and Braydon are attempting to make something “organic” out of the most synthetic materials ever.In the middle of Tim’s critique, Sandro cancels the entire skirt that Sue was working on, and something-something-something Zac Posen. Tim is not responding well to the sweaty mess that is Sandro, so I look forward to his runway commentary. Tim cautions Timothy and Miranda that their design is “hospital gowny,” and then adds “Disney” to the mix, and ultimately a “Disney princess in a hospital gown.”

On the day of the runway show, most of the outfits are still ugly. Like, fugly levels of ugly. Justin and Alexander are in trouble, as are Timothy and Miranda, Sandro and Sue, and maybe, well, everyone except for Helen and Kate because they made a red straw swirl of awesome.

To the runway! The judges this week are Zac Posen, Nina Garcia, and Kelly Osbourne, who is a walking carnival. Also, Tim Gunn and his patented Tim Gunn Rescue. Bradon and Karen’s blue and green dress is ugly ugly ugly and looks like a mush of garbage bags. Dom and Alexandria’s fuzzy blue outfit looks like it came from the sale rack at Kid Robot, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sandro and Sue’s plastic garbage bag flutter dress is a cheap cop-out. Helen and Kate’s red straw outfit is “f*@#ing brilliant,” in the spontaneous words of Kelly f*@#ing Osbourne. Alexander and Justin’s plastic nightmare looks like plastic that may take the shape of a dress. Jeremy and Ken created a surprisingly sleek pair of blue plastic pants with a raffia and…something fuzzy….vest. Miranda and Timothy’s terribly tortured plastic dress is better than expected (and expectations were very, very low), but is still somehow a disappointment.

Bradon and Karen, Ken and Jeremy, Sandro and Sue are all safe. Dom and Alexandria, and Helen and Miranda have the highest scores. Everyone wants to wear Dom and Alexandria’s stuffed animal dress, except for Nina who would never let the synthetic fabric near her skin. After last week’s meltdown, Helen tries out friendly and accommodating this week. Nina calls it a “real high fashion moment,” and Zac Posen calls it, “sombrero Saturn chic.”

And now for the lowest scores. Alexander and Justin’s hideous blue and green plastic is like a hazmat suit with petals. Zac Posen points out the kelp on the bottom, a dorsal fin, and “seaweed on the bum,” and Heidi calls it “overbedazzled.” But when Zac asks the designers to remove the vest, the design is already a thousand times better. Timothy and Miranda made an equally sad looking dress. Heidi gives it the “boring” kiss of death. Zac Posen thinks it looks like a pool toy, and Nina says it’s “really not good.” When asked who should go home if they lose, Timothy rents a party bus and lures Miranda underneath with a shiny object before taking off the parking break.

Tim brings the models out for a closer look and the judges gush over the sombrero dress. When it comes to Timothy and Miranda’s disaster, Nina blurts out, “The vest or the dress, neither one is good!” The winner is Helen. Sigh. Her ego is pushing maximum density. Dom, Alexandria, Justin, and Alexander are in, so it’s between Timothy and Miranda. And FINALLY the judges get rid of Timothy. Goodbye, strange kid who completely lacks self-awareness.

Next week, a bowtie challenge.

Project Runway Season 12, Episode 2: Million Dollar Runway

misslinda — Fri, 26 Jul 2013 16:04:49 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

An armored truck arrives on the runway, and two big burly security guards flank Heidi and the dreaded button bag. Jewels! Bling! Diamonds! The challenge is to design an outfit inspired by jewels. Before the challenge even gets going, Forest Nymph announces how much he hates diamonds because money is bad. Yeah whatever, kid. Get over it.

The designers are not sent back to the workroom with the baubles. Instead, they have sad little digital photos of the jewelry on some second-rate laptops. The contestants finally get their four thousand bucks for a season’s worth of fabrics, and will only have one day to complete the challenge.

At Mood, Forest Nymph starts picking through the garbage bins. Tim is mildly horrified in a way that a parent is embarrassed when their child knocks over an entire supermarket display. Helen tells everyone how great she is at designing eveningwear, so I look forward to her imminent failure. Back at Parsons, there’s yelling coming from the sewing room. It’s Sandro and Ken, and it’s so annoying that Justin turns his hearing device off. (I’ll note that Sandro is wearing an outfit previously worn by Jesus Quintana in The Big Lebowski.)

Dom is making a very pretty dress, but I’m not sure it’s fancy enough for jewels. Justin has an ambitious and elegant multi-tiered dress in the works. Bradon’s gown is made out of uber cheap curtain fabric, and he’s making it look like a million bucks. Kahindo’s patterned fabric is all sorts of wrong for this challenge, and Tim is nervous on her behalf. Sandro’s going retro, and not necessarily in a good way. Helen tells Tim, “This is my forte, I’m really confident,” and for some strange reason Tim doesn’t kick her in the shins. Bad Brows is making something out of chiffon and chiffon and chiffon and chiffon, and Tim calls it grandma. Tim is thoroughly confused by Forest Nymph’s scraps.

After Tim leaves, Helen works the room, dispensing advice that nobody asked for nor wants. The models arrive with their vaginas under wraps, and everyone starts to scramble. Stevie Nicks freaks out because she doesn’t know how to use a sewing machine and Forest Nymph frets about draping.

The next morning, Tim gives the contestants sage advice: Sparkle spangle twinkle shine pretty. Forest Nymph’s dress looks like something Stevie Nicks would wear to a renaissance festival, and Helen’s dress is beyond ugly. With ten minutes left, Sandro demands, “Who know how steamer work? Who know what button I should use?” When nobody answers, he storms backstage, drags a crew member over to the steamer and shouts, “Why it doesn’t work?” The crew member has the good sense to ignore the tantrum and Sondro has a pouty meltdown minutes before the runway show.

Speaking of which, to the runway! The judges this week are Zac Posen, Nina Garcia, Emmy Award winning costume designer Eric Daman, and Tim Gunn’s Runway Rescue Revue.

Dom’s look is beautiful, but too daytime for the jewels. Justin’s black gown is stunning, and any woman would kill to wear it. Ken’s teal dress is a little prommy. Kahindo’s dress is a pretty little cocktail dress, but maybe too young for the accessories. Alexandria’s eveningwear is elegant and drapey. Miranda’s dress is Hooker Goes To Hollywood. Bad Brows’ dress is more of a ticky tacky negligee than an evening gown. Kate’s gown is huge, and hot. Timothy’s rags don’t qualify as a dress. Karen’s dress is forgettable and ill-fitting. Jeremy made an outfit that looks like the model is walking through a pile of used tissues. Sandro’s model looks like a new strain of bacteria.

Helen’s dress is a complete disaster, and Helen is hysterically crying on the runway. Tim stops the show to calm her down, but there’s no talking sense into crazy. Also, Tim’s not a hugger, Helen’s not a hugger, so there’s not much to be done. Eventually, Helen just stops crying and the runway show continues with the final two looks. Stevie Nick’s dress is a bore, and the ruching doesn’t hide her lack of sewing skills. Bradon turned straw into gold, or in this case, polyester into silver.

Dom, Sandro, Forest Nymph, Kahindo, Helen, and Kate are the best and the worst. Nina likes the way Dom’s dress makes the jewels look young, but still chic. Forest Nymph explains that the blue velvet box that the jewels came in inspired his look. The judges are not kind. He put a racer back in the front, and it’s just wrong and bizarre and unattractive. Kate talks blah blah blah about Marie Antoinette and everybody eats it up. Sandro’s dress is a hit with Heidi, but Zac calls it “a little trashy.” The judges are not thrilled with Kahindo’s dress. Do not bore the judges, Kahindo! Heidi calls it off-the-rack, and Zac think it looks like “a dress on sale.” Aaaand here’s Helen. She made sad little boobie cups in a flesh tone. Also, the arse looks like it was stitched by a blind man on a bender. She cries, she kicks, she screams, Nina admires her passion…just get rid of her!

Sandro is in, and to nobody’s surprise, Kate is the winner. Dom is also safe, and that leaves Kahindo, Helen, and Forest Nymph. The judges cut Helen some slack. For who knows what reason, Forest Nymph is also in. Which means Kahindo is out. Sigh.

Next week, it’s the Coney Island Boardwalk and fashion made out of carnival prizes.

Project Runway Season 12, Episode 1: Sky’s The Limit

misslinda — Fri, 19 Jul 2013 16:36:47 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Project Runway is back? Project Runway is back! I had no idea because I don’t normally watch The Lifetime Network For A Certain Demographic Of Ladies. And they brought back Kate from Season 11, who I don’t really remember. Also, one of the designers is deaf so he gets a nifty sign language interpreter. As designer Karen explains, “I think it’s so awesome that Justin is the designer who’s, you know, dealing with being deaf? I can’t even imagine what that’d be like.” Thanks for that, Karen. You are an idiot. Oh, and one more thing. The winner gets something like half a million dollars worth of stuff.

The new season opens big, too. Skydivers are falling from…well, from the sky. For their first challenge, the sixteen designers have to use parachute material. I absolutely dare one of them to make parachute pants.

So what do we need to know about the designers? There’s a classical dancer, an Army mechanic, some kind of rocker chick, a couple of twee nerdlings from Wisconsin, and, ugh. There’s just so many of them. We need to thin the herd. There’s a new accessories partner—Belk Department Stores, which I’ve never, ever heard of, even in a little bit. Thanks to another product placement, the designers will be managing their budgets for the entire season. But they will not be visiting Mood for this challenge. Instead, they will receive various parachute-like trimmings and sketching on Not iPads as everyone figures out how to work with this sheerish, plasticy fabric.

The next morning, the designers get to work. One of them doesn’t know how to use a sewing machine, and another doesn’t like to use electricity. Good luck to both of those contestants. Tim Gunn arrives to a silent workroom and makes the rounds. Alexandria is doing colorblocking, Kate is making a poufy pouf pouf, Bradon is designing a billowy flowing train, Timothy burned his fabric and is “doing a whole conceptual performance piece” involving barefoot binding, and Miranda avoided using the parachute in order to make a sleek dress. Helen also put the parachute aside, but her dress is at least mildly interesting, Kahindo pleated a skirt into a mess, Angela designed a blah tent dress, Sue has absolutely no clue what she’s doing but may pull a decent look in the end, and Sandro and his pornstache are doing skimpy swimwear.

The best instructions to a model ever come from Timothy who tells his model, “I want you to think about awkwardly? Sniffing your armpit.” Oh, and because he’s an eco-friendly designer, he won’t let his model use any of the makeup or hair products. Kids these days.

Runway time! And here’s Heidi. Our judges are Zac Posen, Nina Garcia, Kate Bosworth…and Tim Gunn will have “The Time Gunn Rescue,” which is one “save” during the season. Also, the runway show will be anonymous.

Sue’s pink and orange dress is surprisingly nice. Bradon’s flowy, stringy gown is beautiful. Jeremy’s pants are crazy and kind of badass, perfectly paired with a plain white shirt. Kahindo’s pleated skirt is still a mess and the top’s not much better. Sandro made a bathing suit with “vagina drop.” Helen’s dress is fabulous, and I hate her for it. Alexandria’s dress is a colorblocked mess with awkwardly placed pockets. Karen’s design is something I would buy at Calypso St. Barth. Timothy’s weirdness is only matched by his model’s armpit-sniffing performance. Justin’s hot pink dress is refreshing. Kate’s yellow froufrou dress is…ugh. Angela’s blue tent dress is amateurish. Alexander’s colorblocked dress is hanging all wrong. Dom’s outfit is adorable and I would happily wear each one of those separates. Ken made a bold orange dress with a brilliant pleated collar. Miranda sent a black cocktail dress down the runway in a sea of bright colors.

Timothy tries to explain his dress to the judges. Nina calls it muddled, and Zac Posen says his model looks like she found her in the woods, plus he calls shenanigans on Timothy’s environmental blah blahs since he burned synthetic fabrics to get the texture. Sue’s dress receives high marks. Nina loves Miranda’s silhouette and lets her off the hook for not using much of the parachute. Angela talks her way around her oddly proportioned tent dress, but Nina calls it a “disposable poncho.” Bradon’s dramatic, billowy dress is a huge hit. Sandro’s x-rated bathing suit does not impress the judges, and Zac calls the model a “slutty cat toy.”

Tim marches out with the six looks. For the first time in Project Runway history, the judges get a good look at the craftsmanship while Tim explains what was going on in the workroom.

The win goes to Bradon for his gorgeous gown, and he has immunity for the next challenge. Sue is safe, and Miranda gets a stern warning about not following the rules before she is allowed to continue. Sandro is also safe, which leaves Timothy and Angela. The judges keep Timothy in his four-inch gold sparkle unicorn heels, and Angela is out.

So what’s in store for us? This season, we get jewels, Coney Island, kayaking, cursing, crying, Sandro smashing a camera, a “foaming vagina,” lots of famous people, and Michael Kors!

Project Runway, Episode 12: Jet Setting And Sewing

misslinda — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:45:53 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Last week, Polka Dots was gifted with one last chance. Tim arrives to tell them that nobody is going home, and Polka Dots got a second chance because she is talented. Translation: the judges pulled an audible, and the producers nixed the idea of filming another challenge on the fly. Layana has “mixed feelings” about Polka Dots staying because they had to work so hard for a challenge and the same five people are still there. I have “mixed feelings” about Layana—should I strangle her with charmeuse or linen?

Heidi gives them their final challenge, and it’s a doozy. Each contestant is going to a different European country. Daniel has never been outside of the United States, so he starts crying. They’re each going to a different fashion capital with a sewing assistant who will be traveling with them:

Layana: Barcelona with Samantha (so glad to see her back!)
Wind Chime: Paris with Kate
Daniel: Berlin with Amanda
Stanley: London with Hallmarq
Polka Dots: Nowhere with TuTu

Aw, this is sad. She gets one last chance, but nobody wanted to kick in for a ticket. Each designer has to create a high-end runway look with a thousand dollars for materials. They will be wandering around their cities getting inspired and buying fabric, and then return to New York to create something fabulous.

Daniel goes straight for the Berlin Wall, which is a good bit of inspiration because it is simultaneously uplifting and oppressive. The great thing about Berlin is that it’s a true mixed bag, and Daniel gets inspired by some of the newer, geometrical architecture. He finds a white vinyl fabric and decides to make a white jacket and a black dress.

Back in New York, Polka Dots feels a tad on the lonely side and is afraid that her misery will translate in her design. To snap herself out of it, she takes a double-decker bus tour in the rain and gets a new perspective of the architecture, particularly the old buildings reflected in the glass of the new skyscrapers. Polka Dots goes shopping in Mood and buys cashmere and “avant turd” leather in “diarrhea brown.”

Wind Chime experiences Paris street art, which of course is a million times more creative than anything in the United States. She’s seeing layers in the textures and wants to do the “true, gritty street Paris.” Then, she sees the Eiffel Tower and has her Paris moment. She goes over her budget in the fabric store by $250 because she’s buying a million different fabrics, but the nice Parisian tells her “no problem.”

Layana is inspired by the tile work and patterns on the architecture. She sketches from the outside of La Sagrada Familia, without realizing that all of the really good stuff is on the inside. Layana can’t find leather in Barcelona and switches to black lace which is never, ever frumpy. “After all that, I have to cut my own fabric?”

Stanley is hitting all of the main sights and is inspired by the windows of the towers, particularly Big Ben. He goes with a long and lean silhouette that is darker than his previous work. He chooses a veeeery expensive fabric and isn’t sure if he will have enough to cover his model.

The jetlagged designers and helpers return to the workroom and Polka Dots is not enjoying listening to the other designers’ travel stories. Daniel is making a pair of boots that Polka Dots calls the kind of plastic hooker boots you buy when you’re dressing up for Halloween. He’s also sewing a quilted white pleather jacket. Tim cautions that he has a lot of work to do, which is a euphemism for “it looks like crap, but maybe you can salvage it.” Stanley designed a “modest” capelet that Tim calls “monastic” which is removed to reveal a backless dress. Wind Chime is layering fabrics to make her own textile, and Tim Gunn calls it “remarkable.” But, her pieces don’t go together, and he encourages her to turn her jacket into a “top” and ditch the out-of-place shirt. Polka Dots is making a “stunning” breastplate and a hand-painted ombre dress that will resemble soot on the side of buildings. Layana is creating a coat, pants and blouse. Tim worries that she has too much work to do during the short timeframe.

Runway time! The judges this week are Zac Posen Kors, Nina Garcia, and nine-time Grammy winner John Legend. Four of the designers will go to fashion week, and one will be out.

Layana’s outfit looks like Hot Topic circa 1995. Polka Dots’ dress looks both pretty and slick, with some killer strappy detail work on the back. Stanley’s dress is morbid, even when the cape is removed. But, it’s an interesting shape and extremely well made. Wind Chime’s crafty top is…somewhere between cool and frumpy. Daniel’s white jacket is slick, and his asymmetrical dress underneath is very wearable.

Nina thinks Daniel captured the “beat of Berlin” very well, likes the jacket and boots, and she calls the dress “phenomenal.” Nina also loves Stanley’s outfit, and the glimpse of sequins on the inside. Zac Posen gives him a “bravo” for having captured the mystery of London. Oh boy. Nina is already grimacing at Layana. Zac Posen recognizing Barcelona in the materials, but Nina laughs at the pirate sleeves. “This outfit looks so old fashioned, and old fashioned coming from such a young designer is tragic.” Heidi calls the coat a housecoat. Nina is shaking her head. It’s weird that they sent Layana to Barcelona when “schadenfreude” is a German word.

Zac Posen Kors calls Wind Chime’s outfit “trash couture,” and “lumpy and dumpy.” Nina is underwhelmed because she doesn’t feel Paris in it at all, and calls it “cotton candy gone wrong.” As Heidi calls the top “special,” Nina forces her face to make a frown. The judges react well to Polka Dots’ design and the story of the slick glass buildings combined with the older materials. But, Heidi does not like the painted ombre bottom because it looks like “a dirty horse blankie.”

To the judges! They’re loving Stanley and Polka Dots. The judges are nervous about Daniel’s taste level, but are impressed the way that he tuned into the Berlin underground look. Nina thinks that Layana has commercial taste, so she struggles with high fashion. John Legend doesn’t see the taste level necessary to be one of the top designers. Heidi is intrigued by Wind Chime, but Nina doesn’t think she is ready to put on a show and calls her work “artsy fartsy.” Basically, Heidi is fighting for her and Nina yells the words “arts and crafts horror.”

In the end, the judges send Stanley, Daniel (I just placed his accent—Dustin Hoffman as Dorothy Michaels in Tootsie), Polka Dots, and…yes!!! Wind Chime is showing at Fashion Week! Layana is out! Aw, her face is what it looks like when dreams are crushed.

Next week, the designers get $10,000 to create a twelve look collection.

Project Runway, Episode 10: There’s No Crying In Fashion

misslinda — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 16:35:15 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

The judges switch up the teams again, because teams! Chaos! Conflict! Good television! This week’s teams are as follows:

Stanley and Polka Dots
Daniel and Layana
Wind Chime and Hallmarq

Heidi ships the contestants off to the Guggenheim Museum, where Tim explains that they must create one piece of whacked out wearable art, and a second complimentary commercial ready-to-wear look. And, they will be making their own textiles using touch screens that are not iPads.

Polka Dots and Stanley are both inspired by the same paintings so they are working on the two outfits together, in peaceful harmony. Daniel talks whimsically about giant sculptural thing-a-ma-bobs, which concerns Layana because pretty things should be pretty. Wind Chime is inspired by “Rectangles, circles, all of that,” while Hallmarq cowers in the corner, confused.

For the textile, Stanley and Polka Dots draw an ugly bright yellow squiggle face and hit the “repeat” button. Wind Chime and Hallmarq make triangles. Whoo, live life to the fullest, kids. Layana and Daniel make rectangles. I haven’t had this much excitement since my last bowl of oatmeal.

And now it’s time for The Workroom Breakdown, starring Layana as The Drama Queen. Daniel tries to save Layana from her dark mood, but Layana says Daniel is a lousy partner because he can’t fix her awful design. So…wouldn’t that make Layana the worst partner of all? When Layana finally feels creative enough to design again, she hogs all of the fabric. Like, all of the fabric. Daniel has to beg her for less than a yard of fabric so that he can make a skimpy skirt. Teamwork! Yay!

After all of the bitching and moaning, Layana makes a boring, flat, lifeless skirt that isn’t anywhere near avante garde. Tim gives it a 12 out of 100 for creativity, and Layana brings out her secret weapons—tears and whining. “This is such a big challenge, and I feel like I have nobody who can help me!” Um, honey, this is a competition. If you can’t help yourself, it’s time for you to go home.

To the very short runway show! The judges this week are Rachel Roy (filling in for Zac Posen, who is filling in for Michael Kors), Nina Garcia, and fashion designer Tracy Reese.

Layana’s crazy tulle dress is nice, but not at all modern or even original. Daniel’s ready-to-wear version, however, is a super cute mini skirt with a slick black wrap jacket. Wind Chime went balls to the wall with this challenge, binding her model’s arms in a painted wrap and draping a trail of fabric poop behind her. Hallmarq’s ready-to-wear dress is…a mess. Polka Dots designed a zombie apocalypse funhouse army uniform, and Stanley made a killer giant a-frame dress for the more commercial look.

The judges love Stanley’s dress. Love it, love it, love it. Love. And Polka Dots’ dress isn’t half bad, either. Hallmarq and Wind Chime receive polite smiles from the judges. Heidi immediately wants to know who did what, and it becomes clear that Hallmarq struggled with the fabric, causing a battle between pleats and wrinkles.

Layana tries to talk her way through judging, moaning about a dark, dark place called The Workroom. Daniel’s look was Heidi’s favorite, and she calls the jacket “killer.” Nina describes Layana’s look a “hodgepodge,” and Tracy Reese calls it old-fashioned. Naturally, Layana takes credit for Daniel’s look and then summons up a few tears for backstage because Daniel didn’t acknowledge all of the non-work she put into Daniel’s garment. Or, rather, “our garment.” In sum, Layana wants credit for both outfits and feels “so betrayed” by Daniel. Oh. Mah. Gawd. Millennials, always reaching for an extra participation prize.

Wow, Rachel Roy does not like Layana’s dress. She calls it everything from bad pageant wear to a Kentucky Derby gone wrong. Heidi hits the nail on the head: I do think Layana thinks she is the cat’s meow. Meee-ow indeed!

Stanley and Polka Dots are the winning team, and the win goes to Stanley for that rockin’ tent dress that I would so wear the heck out of. Wind Chime and Hallmarq are the losing team, which means Layana can stop crying now. But now it’s Wind Chime’s turn to cry like a small child who lost her pet rock, and all for nothing because she’s in. Which means Hallmarq is out. Goodbye, Richard Hallmarq. You did some really solid but forgettable work this season.

Next week, no more teams. Instead, cast-off Project Runway losers will offer lots and lots of help.

Project Runway Episode 9: Ready-To-Wear

misslinda — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 17:20:03 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Tim greets the contestants at Lord & Taylor, and surprising them with new teams. The teams are:

Stanley and Wind Chime
Daniel and Polka Dots
Samantha, Layana and Hallmarq

The contestants have to make ready-to-wear looks for Spring 2013 that are inspired by the Lord & Taylor rose. The winner will have their look reproduced and sold in the store and online, and it will be featured in the store window.

Stanley and Wind Chime are already having friction because he’s trying to tone down her crazy, and there’s no controlling Wind Chime when she wants to make fabric out of floor tiles. Hallmarq is ignoring Layana because she tossed him under the bus during the last runway judging, and Polka Dots is trying to turn Daniel into a modern designer which leads to an odd neon pink fabric selection.

Sketching, draping, taping, and more team tension. It’s a battle between Stanley and Wind Chime, resulting in gems like: You need to listen when we’re having discussions! and I need to wet my fabric. Meanwhile, Layana is having Pretty Person Problems which consist of not getting enough attention from her teammates and nobody telling her how shiny her hair looks.

Tim Gunn arrives in the workroom to nervous laughter. He loves Samantha’s adorable color-blocked separates, but he is not thrilled with the leather trim on Layana’s flowered frock. Hallmarq tries to sell Tim on his pink and black boring jersey dress that he’s done already, but Tim isn’t buying it. Tim is concerned that Wind Chime’s outfit is too expensive to produce, and Stanley’s shift dress bores Tim to tears. Polka Dots made a gloomy rain vest because arms were meant to get wet. Tim tells her to ditch the vest and go with the dress underneath. When Tim sees Daniel’s hot pink jacket, he calls it “a little Joan Collins.

To the runway! This week, Heidi has replaced Zac Posen Kors with Rachel Roy. There’s also everybody’s favorite fashion director of Marie Claire magazine, Nina Garcia, and guest judge Bonnie Brooks, President of Lord & Taylor.

Wind Chime’s coral frilly top with shantung capri pants look surprisingly pretty and fresh. Stanley’s coral dress is a perfectly nice dreszzzzzz, oh sorry, it’s just so boring. Hallmarq’s tank dress is easy breezy, but nothing special. Samantha’s color block separates are way too young for Lord & Taylor, but still really cute in an Urban Outfitters kind of way. Layana’s dress is a chic cut, but somehow the floral pattern is joyless. Daniel’s design is the perfect outfit for a middle-aged woman to wear to the office. Polka Dots ditched her vest and made a blocky bright yellow and dove gray dress that’s a little five years ago, but kudos to her for making leather look light and airy.

Okay, it’s time for judging. Stanley and Wind Chime are safe and can leave the runway. Daniel and Polka Dots are the winning team because why? I don’t know. That means Samantha, Hallmarq, and Layana are the losing team.

First, the winners. Heidi loves the yellow and gray dress, calling it “hip and modern,” Rachel Roy describes the dress as “smart and easy,” and Nina likes that it will fit many shapes and sizes because it is a shapeless blob. Daniel’s hot pink dress receives polite praise, including the word “conservative,” which is a euphemism “it’s perfect for the Lord & Taylor customer.”

And now, the losers. The judges are not really feeling Samantha’s petal dress. Heidi calls it “junior,” Rachel Roy thinks it’s adorable, and Nina didn’t hate it. Hallmarq tries to talk his way out of his dress, and Heidi says that she would buy it because Heidi is always known for her good fashion sense. Nina calls Hallmarq out on his repetitiveness, and the guest judge is confused by the dress because it’s beach in the front, business in the back. Nina calls the print on Layana’s design “old lady fabric,” and Heidi says it’s “a hot dress, with a horrible print.”

Well the winner is no mystery, so congratulations Polka Dots. The judges tell Daniel that he got lucky this time, and they send him away with Layana, whose dress suffered from a frumpy print. And then…whoa! The judges give Samantha the chop! Over Hallmarq’s boring, repetitive, nothing of a dress!?! Huh. I had Samantha pegged as a finalist. Well, you just never know.

Next week, the contestants tackle textile design at the Guggenheim Museum.

Project Runway Episode 6: Grannies On The Runway

misslinda — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 15:10:21 +0000

After her teammate was eliminated last week, Polka Dots is the lone wolf. To remedy this situation, Heidi swings the button bag and draws the name of the team Polka Dots will join: Wind Chime and Layana! Ha ha, poor Polka Dots.

The contestants visit an old age home and watch the biddies jazzercize. Tim walks in but nobody notices because he fits right in with this crowd. He tells the contestants that they must design timeless looks for these lovely ladies who don’t have much time left. They are each assigned a client, who have names like Beatrice, Ida, and Bunny. The clients are giving input that includes: I like leopard; make it sexy; like a gypsy thing; be a slut.This could be a spectacular disaster.

Amanda is trying to make a structured dress out of flowing vintage housecoat fabric. Blondie is designing either a fabulous top and bottom, or a matronly outfit. Daniel is driving Samantha nuts with his questions while he designs a sexy black suit, and Samantha is designing a leopard something-or-other. Layana is gossiping to Polka Dots about Wind Chime. They’re all working independently because there is no Wind Chime in “team.” Tim makes a threesome joke and is worried about Wind Chime’s poncho. Hallmarq’s jersey dress goes for comfort over style. Stanley is worrying Tim with a modern leisure suit. Kate is creating a heavy top with a spring skirt. TuTu is designing a coat dress that will take him forever to sew.

The ladies arrive for their fittings, and it’s kind of funny to see the outfits on elderly women instead of models. Stanley gets goosed! These women are bad! Speaking of bad, Wind Chime’s poncho is terrible, TuTu’s not going to finish in time, Blondie’s dress is frump city and way too tight, and Amanda is embarrassed about her dress.

To the runway! This week’s guest judge is the incomparable Joan Rivers. Because she couldn’t find a babysitter, she brought along her kid, Melissa. They join an Rachel Roy and a rather orange Nina Garcia.

Polka Dot’s dress is pretty and moved really well on the runway. Layana’s dress is a little young for a grandma, but she looked good. Wind Chime made…what is that? Did she staple fabric together? It’s awful and lumpy and ugh! Stanley’s pants suit is killer in a shiny gunmetal grey. Hallmarq made a jersey dress from H&M, but it’s a really good jersey dress. TuTu’s dress looks better than expected considering it’s poorly stitched and a bad fit, but he’s going to have a lot of explaining to do during judging. Kate’s top and skirt are fun and cute and would look great on a cruise ship. Samantha’s leopard outfit is full of attitude but a little disjoined. Daniel’s pants suit has some nice touches, but it’s hard to see the details in that black fabric. Amanda’s dress is much too young and dumpy, and there’s something weird happening in the back. Blondie’s model is squeezed into her dress so tightly that she may lose feeling in her arms. Also, it’s very mother-of-the-bride. Sigh. I miss Michael Kors.

Michelle and Layana get the highest scores from Heidi, but yet again Wind Chime is dragging them down so their team is merely safe. This is supposed to be a lesson in teamwork, but it’s more of a lesson in get-Wind-Chime-out-of-there-already.

The judges like Daniel’s black suit, but they don’t love it. Samantha’s leopard dress is a hit with Joan who calls the look “menopausal kitten.” Heidi and Nina don’t like it because the sleeves are too poofy and the bow makes it too young. Stanley’s shiny suit is fantastic, except the pants are too short and the crotch is not perfect (come on, Heidi! These ladies are old, how perfect do you expect their crotches to be?). Hallmarq’s asymmetrical jersey dress is a big hit with all of the judges because they would love to wear it themselves. Nina, however, does not like that the dress drowns her in fabric.

And now for the bad. The judges simply do not like Amanda’s dress. Joan is glaring at it, and Rachel Roy calls it a mistake on top of a mistake. Blondie’s client loves her dress so Heidi rips it to shreds. TuTu admits that his sewing is horrendous and the fabric is swallowing his client. Joan calls it an old lady dress. Ouch. Kate’s outfit pleases her client and the judges, so that makes TuTu the bottom.

The judges deliberate and it’s clear that Blondie and Amanda are both in serious trouble. “I have no trust in Amanda as a designer.” “I don’t know, I don’t have trust in Benjamin either.” That ain’t good.Stanley gets the win with his snazzy gunmetal suit, and Stanley and Hallmarq get to leave the runway. Daniel and Samantha, and Kate and TuTu, are also in, which leaves Blondie and Amanda. “Benjamin, you are out.” So that’s it for Blondie and his bowties.

Next week, duct tape and high school students? What a great combination!

Project Runway Episode 5: A Little Bit Country

misslinda — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 16:16:57 +0000

Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Cowboy Tim puts everyone in a country western frame of mind because this week, they’re designing for Miranda Lambert. Everyone seems to know who she is except for Polka Dots who looks confused and horrified. The contestants will work in teams of two and create two looks per team—a performance outfit, and a red carpet look. For the performance outfit, Miranda wants something from the Donny and Marie show. Miranda would like to look chic and young and fresh on the red carpet while she celebrates her curves.

As the winner of the last challenge, Samantha gets to choose her partner first. Here are the pairings:

Samantha/Daniel
Hallmarq/Stanley
Wind Chime/Layana
Matt/Polka Dots
Kate/TuTu
Amanda/Blondie

Samantha is making a leather motorcycle vest with a pleated skirt, and Daniel is designing a long dress with strips of leather ruffle fringe. Layana is ruching everything she can gets her hands on, and Wind Chime is making something out of gold tapestry and leather. Kate is designing a red leather mermaid dress, and TuTu is “doing a Gaga” with a costume that leaves Tim speechless. Tim and Kate try to talk TuTu out of his catastrophe, but he seems pretty attached to his design.

Stanley is using even more sparkles than last week, and the week before, and the week before…and Hallmarq is sewing a mesh dress with fringe and chains, but there’s not a lot of coverage so we may get a peepshow on the runway. Amanda’s talking about fringe, and Blondie’s making a corset dress. Polka Dot’s creating a bodice and skirt out of wrinkled leather, and Matt’s designing a leather and lace outfit that worries poor Tim.

Matthew doesn’t have a skirt to go with his barely finished bodice, and Hallmarq doesn’t even have any fabric to use as lining under his “I see London, I see France” dress. So Hallmarq gets creative and uses the souvenir Mood t-shirt he bought to make a tube dress for the lining. Meanwhile, Daniel is shredding the hem of his skirt with a fork (no, I’m not kidding), TuTu is doing some desperate last-minute sewing, and Stanley is glue-gunning a dress onto his model.

To the runway! The judges this week are Zac Posen Kors, Nina Garcia, and the songstress herself, Miranda Lambert.

Amanda’s fringe dress looks ordinary but it has a good bounce when it walks so I bet it pleases Miranda. Blondie’s red carpet navy blue dress is pretty…but there’s sparkle fringe just on one boob, which is a weird thing to do to a breast. TuTu’s nutty outfit is very…futuristic? And completely the wrong direction for this challenge? Kate’s red carpet look is way too red and it looks inexpensive. Samantha’s little black number has a nice vest and a forgettable skirt, and Daniel’s outfit looks like a Dynasty reunion. It’s almost as if Daniel is begging for elimination.

Matt’s black dress is too simple, too short, too pasted together, and Polka Dot’s dress is from the wrong era. Hmm. That team is in trouble. Wind Chime’s concoction is insanely fringed, and I like it and hate it at the same time. Her teammate Layana made a very elegant and refined gown. Hallmarq’s fringe and metal dress works perfectly for this challenge, and Stanley’s sparkle is so subdued and classy that I barely recognized it when it came down the runway.

The judges like Stanley and Hallmarq, and Blondie and Amanda. Hallmarq’s net dress is a hit with everyone, and Stanley gets high marks for his elegant dress even though both Nina and Heidi worry that it’s too much fabric for Miranda. Blondie’s one-fringe-boob is okay with the judges because they’re drunk (that’s the only way that I can reconcile the judges gushing over one giant pasty), and Amanda receives a heaping of praise for a fringe dress that’s a bit of a snore.

The judges have some problems with Daniel and Samantha, and Matt and Polka Dots. Heidi thinks Polka Dots’ head-to-toe leather dress would put Miranda on the Worst Dressed List, and Zac Posen Kors correctly identifies the giant fringe leather necklace as linguini. Matt’s dress just makes everyone sigh because it’s a sad dress with absolutely no wow factor. Daniel’s old-fashioned dress is just cheap and icky, and Nina says it looks like “a cross between a tablecloth and a napkin.” Samantha has immunity so she is safe, but the judges all prefer the outfit Samantha is wearing to the boring dress she designed for Miranda.

This week’s winner is Hallmarq. Yay, good for you, now leave the runway and take Stanley, Amanda, and Blondie with you so we can get down to business. Samantha has immunity so she’s in, but everyone else is on the chopping block. Daniel’s dress looks cheap, the judges question Polka Dot’s taste level, and Matt is out for showing the judges bland insecurity. Avidazen, Matt (air kiss, air kiss).

Next week, the contestants are designing for Lifetime’s core audience, grandmothers!