There’s an awards show, a meeting with Speedo, and a hot dog naming at Pink’s on the agenda. But first, let’s listen to the pearls of wisdom that sprang forth from Ryan’s lips:

• Ryan Lochte’s getting a hot dog, jeah!
• Fashion has been my passion, pretty much my entire life.
• That meeting I had with Speedo was a confident meeting (erm, I think he meant a confidential meeting).
• I mean if you get a hot dog named after you, you’ve made it.
• If I could have a super power, I’d be, like, flying because I love traveling all over the world, and if I knew how to flew, I’d be there in a heartbeat.

Once in Los Angeles, Ryan wants to pitch ideas to Speedo. The team at Speedo, however, was under the impression that they were the ones coming up with the ideas. But, they decide to humor Ryan and kick the cameras out of the conference room so that the group can talk in private.

There are also a lot of photo shoots with swimming pools and tuxedos, and Ryan stripping down to his undies. Luckily Gene is there to tell him where to go and when to take his pants off. To celebrate the long day, Ryan takes Gene out for drinks. Gene is worried that Ryan will leave Gainesville, which will break up the Lochterage. But Ryan has plans to take the Lochterage to Los Angeles, where they will be eaten up and spit out within a week.

The duo next visit Pink’s to taste “your little hot dog,” the Lochtedog. The owners force Ryan to get behind the counter to make the Lochtedog. His first challenge is opening the bun. Then, he loads up two hot dogs, mustard, and French fries. Naturally, there are plenty of penis jokes to go around.

Ryan and Gene go to the Hall Of Game Awards, which nobody has ever heard of except for Ryan Lochte’s publicist. Smile, smile, smile, interview, interview, interview. Ryan Lochte wins an award for…something. Ryan makes Gene promise that he’ll move out to Los Angeles with him, but Gene is unconvinced. Then, Carmen Electra introduces herself to Ryan. She makes a half-hearted effort to engage Ryan in conversation, but he just stares mindlessly in her general direction. He eventually gets her number, but only six of them. Numbers are hard when you’re Ryan Lochte.

Next week, paintball and Jaime.

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