Tony hates dessert, and challenges his team to turn fruit into super fruit. Marcus wants his team to make a savory sweet, and Ludo goes all sorts of French with a crust, a cream, and fruit.

Ever see a Frenchman on a sugar rush? It’s…interesting. I’m not even sure if Ludo’s using words anymore. There’s some smacktalk between Tony and Ludo, so I’m sort of rooting for Marcus. Ludo considers Jeff’s poopmousse (as Tony says, he makes that dish all the time after eating street food in India) but switches to Louise’s, Marcus is banking on Sarah, and Tony sticks with Shellie’s spoon.Christina tries Sarah’s pomegranate glazed ginger cake with potato chips and announces that she hates cupcakes but wants another. Louise’s grapes in port wine with peanut mascarpone and Cap’n Crunch crumble “almost creeps out” Christina because whomever made this knows exactly what she likes to eat. Lastly, it’s Shellie’s cheddar and apple cannoli which is an “unexpected surprise” but missing a certain something.

The best spoon is from Marcus’s kitchen which, ugh, a cupcake. But it really, really, really puts Ludo in his place. And the worst dish is from my imaginary boyfriend Anthony Bourdain’s kitchen. Well, it’s time to send someone home. Is it Lee, Shellie, or Brad? This is kind of a no-brainer, get rid of Brad. He’s inconsistent and blah. Yup, go home, Brad. And with that, Tony is down to two cooks.

When the cooks get to the kitchen for the Elimination Challenge, Marina starts making a wackadoodle egg dish using eighteen egg yolks that she is convinced Ludo will hate. It’s almost like she’s never seen the show. Shehu is making a couscous cake which I think will just confuse the judges. There’s also a fried cheesecake which mmm…I never thought to fry a cheesecake. Fruit is caramelized, flour is sifted, sugar is simmering on the stove, and then there’s Marina squirting egg yolk into boiling water.

Jeff is in trouble with time, so Marina asks how she can help. He tells her to please get his pastry shells out of the blast chiller, but she doesn’t know what a blast chiller is because it doesn’t involve egg squirts. Sarah’s pudding is the wrong consistency, I see more mini cupcakes, and garnishes are garnished.

So what did everybody bake?

• Jeff’s lime tart with meringue, and jalapeno: Clever.
• Shellie’s caramelized banana with macadamia nuts: Burnt caramel, very sweet, all wrong.
• Shehu’s orange couscous cake: Nigella made a face, but everybody else liked it.
• Lee’s fried cheesecake: Good texture, no taste, too doughy.
• Louise’s red wine poached pear with pine nuts and salted parmesan: “It comes on good.”
• Sarah’s bananas foster: it tastes good, but it falls flat.
• Marina’s egg yolk threads with candied grapes, passion fruit syrup, and crazy: It makes Ludo think, and he likes to think.

Tony gives a gold star to Marina, Marcus’s best is Jeff’s dish, and…Nigella gets a vote? She also gives a gold star to Marina’s weirdness, and Ludo’s best is from Louise. And they’re all from Ludo’s kitchen. Huh.

But now the fun begins. Tony’s worst dish is from Shellie. Ouch, that one’s gotta hurt. Marcus’s red star also goes to Shellie. Nigella hated Shellie’s dish, too. Wow. Can we get a clean sweep from Ludo? Nope. Sarah had his least favorite dish. Well, I guess Shellie goes home over Tony’s very handsome dead body.

Blah blah blah, and Tony sends Shellie home.

Next week, it’s the semifinals.

Dairy and eggs are acceptable, but no meat or fish. The guest mentor is Yotam Ottolenghi, the only vegetarian chef whose food Tony doesn’t want to spit out.  Bourdain challenges his team to make pasta with veggies, Marcus has his team cook root to tip vegetables, Nigella challenges her lone cook to make a curry, and Ludo asks his kitchen to showcase just one vegetable.

Jacqueline is having some serious timing issues, so that spoon should be special. Ludo’s kitchen is a little scattered, with Marina chopping way too many vegetables for a one-vegetable showcase. Tony entertains the idea of having a burger delivered, and I think I heard his heart break a little bit when he said, “do you maybe need more kale?” and Marcus is more determined than ever to keep the remainder of his team intact.Marcus puts up Sarah’s dish, finally. Ludo gives Louise a chance, Nigella has no choice but to put up whatever slop Jacqueline tosses together, and Anthony…did he try to sneak meat onto his spoon? Yotam enjoys the crunch of Sarah’s radish salad, but the creaminess destroys the freshness of the salad.  Shellie’s vegetable parmesan toasted pasta “hits the mark.” Louise’s glazed carrot with preserved lemon yogurt and chickpeas is “very interesting…really kind of kicks you in the gut, it’s good.” And now, Jacqueline’s signature hot mess.  It’s vegetable curry soup, and Yotam says it’s “very very nice.”

Um, where did Jacqueline go? She said that she needed to gab a paper towel, but did she just crack open a beer? The show must go on, and the best dish is from Ludo’s kitchen. A close second is Nigella’s kitchen, with her absentee cook. Tony’s kitchen is in second, and Marcus is the losing kitchen. That means either Shehu or Sarah must go home. But wait! There’s a stay of execution! Jacqueline withdrew from the competition because she’s nuttier than a nut farm inside of a loony bin, So Marcus does not have to send anyone home and Nigella gets to chill the heck out for the rest of the competition.

Ugh, they’re giving Shehu the loser’s cut, complete with footage of him cooking for his (adorable) daughter. Meanwhile, Tony’s team is mocking Brad for thinking ratatouille is an Italian dish when anyone who has ever seen a Disney movie knows that it’s French. Ludo’s kitchen is extra special with the guest mentor’s help, plus Marina built her own smoker out of bamboo steamers. Oh she’s good. Do I smell something burning? Yup. Sarah’s walnuts. Whoops.

Bring out the spoons! Here’s what the chefs did with a bunch of vegetables:

Dana’s spaghetti squash salad with tomatoes and eggplant: The judges can’t place the “pasta,” or identify the vegetables and missed a bit of crunch.

Sarah’s pickled beet stems and leaf salad: Nigella likes the sweetness of the corn, even though the dish contains absolutely no corn whatsoever.

Brad’s vegetable ratatouille with tomato jam and radicchio: oily, bitter, good, mixed reviews.

Shehu’s potato gnocchi: nobody understands what it is, but it was “pleasant.”

Shellie’s asparagus with asparagus and asparagus: “There’s all sorts of veggie action going on.”

Marina’s smoked feta cheese and eggplant rolls: It’s smoky, and Ludo likes smoky.

Lee’s saag paneer: “It’s not my dream texture, but the flavor was right there.”

Jeff’s braised carrots and turnips: Ludo is about ready to vomit.

Louise’s roasted beet salad with avocado and toasted walnuts: Tony loves it and doesn’t feel an urge to add meat.

Bourdain and Nigella’s best dish is from Louise, Marcus’s best dish is from Sarah, Ludo’s best dish is cooked by Lee. Bourdain and Nigella’s worst dish is from Dana, and Marcus and Ludo’s worst dish is from Jeff. Dana doesn’t even try to argue her case, instead deferring to the judges’ decision. Jeff also has three gold stars to Dana’s zero gold stars, so…this seems like a pretty easy decision. Tony puts Dana out of her misery and sends her home.

Reprinted from HealthyWayToCook.com

Team Challenge

Roy Choi, who just appeared on Top Chef, will be judging the Team Challenge. Is it possible to be overexposed within the course of two weeks?

Tony introduces his team to the bahn mi sandwich and challenges his team to make their best interpretation of the bahn mi. He tells Shellie that he expects a lot out of her since she runs a food truck. You know what that means, right? It means Shellie is going to fail miserably.  Marcus asks his shrunken team to make meatballs, and Nigella decides to have her team of two present fish and chips, which Crystal says is “really easy.” Heh.  Ludo is all about the croque monsieur, which leads to bizarre flirting by Cassandra.

Bourdain knows that Roy loves Spam, so he hands Shellie a can and tells her to use it to its full potential. This leads Ludo to ramble, “We cannot looose this chaaahlahnge to spaim, we cannot looose this chaaahlahnge to spaim.” Nigella’s kitchen is in trouble. Both tartar sauces are abysmal for different reasons, and Crystal is not at all interested in changing her recipe or refining her technique. Jacqueline is also driving her made, pushing back at every suggestion. In Ludo’s kitchen, Marina is talking about boiling her beef, which is giving Ludo hives.

As expected, Tony puts up Shellie’s Spamwich. Nigella selects Crystal’s dish as the least bad of two clunkers. As if it’s not bad enough, Jacqueline sabotages Crystal’s fish by busting open the crispy batter and then adds just one lonely chip. Marcus’s team is split on Sheha and Sarah’s dishes, but in the end he goes with Shehu’s fish eye soup.  And, Ludo picks Jeff. Again. It’s a fried chicken sandwich…boring…..

Shellie’s spam sandwich was a huge hit, and Shehu’s soup was surprising and enjoyable. Roy has “construction” problems with the fish and chips, and the components are confusing to him because fish and chips don’t go together in his world. The bread on Jeff’s chicken sandwich was too crumbly.

Tony’s kitchen is the winner, and Marcus’s kitchen comes in second. Ludo comes in third, which means Nigella’s kitchen loses again, and will be down another lousy cook. Nigella lets both of them have it because it’s an attitude problem. But she sends Crystal home because at least Jacqueline can cook a decent meal.

Individual Challenge

For the individual challenge, the chefs must serve their best street food. And Anthony Bourdain’s kitchen gets the benefit of guidance from the self-proclaimed King Of Street Food.

Okay, I’m keeping an eye on Cassandra who is making falafel. I’ve eaten some really, really delicious falafel over the years, so if she’s going to claim to be a New Yorker, she’d better get that right. Then there’s Sarah who is boldly preparing fish and chips, despite the last fish and chips disaster. The other teams are not-so-silently mocking Jacqueline who does not appear to know what the heck she’s doing.

Oh, Cassandra. You are so lost without a mentor. And did she just shout, “MEDIC!!!” Yup, there goes her finger. But that’s all just a big distraction from the food:

Jeff’s curried lamb meatballs with chutney and Brussels sprouts: the judges like it and place the middle east flavor, and Nigella steals the rest of Tony’s bite.

Dana’s toasted fish burrito with cabbage: Bourdain is confused, the dish is bland, and frying and wrapping is weird.

Lee’s halal style lamb over rice: Tony is confused as to what it is but he likes it anyhow, and the judges don’t know how to eat it without a mess.

Shehu’s jerk steak on jonnycakes with spiced bananas: Ludo wants to spit it out, Nigella makes a baby fart face, Marcus looks angry at the raw dough, and Tony babbles something about sweet, too sweet, it’s just sweet.

Marina’s caramelized banana with cinnamon in fried wonton: the judges gobble it up.

Cassandra’s falafel pita sandwich: it lacked texture, heat, attitude, and the judges can’t even figure out if it was fish or not.

Brad’s surf and turf flatbread with chimichurri sauce: terrific bread, but slightly unfocused.

Louise’s peanut potato chip ball: the judges momentarily lose their power of speech because everything is stuck to their teeth, but they loved it.

Shellie’s fried chicken taco: too much salad and not enough flavor.

Sarah’s fish and chips with jalapeno chow-chow: the judges understand the skill it takes to make fish and chips with curry sauce, so it’s a hit.

Jacqueline’s empanada with chimichurri sauce: no, no, underseasoned, wrong dough, Marcus may have spit it out, she is so going home.

Tony and Marcus both chose Sarah’s fish and chips as the best, and Ludo and Nigella selects Marina’s dessert as the best. And now, for the worst dishes. Tony picks Cassandra, because bad falafel is a crime in New York City. Marcus cooses Shehu’s jerk steak, which hurts because that’s his team. Nigella and Ludo also pick Shehu, so it looks like Jacqueline gets a stay of execution.

Cassandra put flour in her falafel, and then ran it through the food processor. Major rookie moves. Shehu just got the wrong flavors. He used bananas instead of plantains, then tossed mango on top for sweet-on-sweet. It was his first time preparing this dish, which, yeah. Rookie move. Wow, Marcus is about to burst into tears. He’s really going to the mat for Shehu. But Tony has it in for that falafel because it’s a failure of imagination as well as preparation. And how come a pretty girl only has to have a good attitude in the kitchen? Nigella can’t get over the disgustingness of Shehu’s dish, and Ludo calls it “caca.”

It was a difficult decision, but the judges send Cassandra home. Goodbye, vegetarian. Ludo will miss you. And probably Lee, too.

Team Challenge

Bourdain’s team is like a zen soup kitchen. Nigella is having trouble with Reina, who has zero respect for her input. Ludo is giving Cassandra the business because Cassandra doesn’t know how to cook meat. Marcus is trying to be a perfectionist, but he’s working with an imperfect team.

Tony puts up Shelly’s ginger soup, Nigella picks Jacqueline’s chorizo soup which Reina calls “disgusting,” Marcus choose’s Shehu’s coconut curry broth over Audrey’s because he helped Audrey so much that it was no longer Audrey’s dish, and Ludo selects Jeff’s ramen with pork loin spoon. Then, in the last minute, Nigella switches to Jay’s chicken soup with coconut milk because Jacqueline’s started to separate.

Shehu’s curry was too simple, Jeff’s noodles were overcooked and the spoon too full, Shellie’s soup was salty and unbalanced, and Jay’s chicken soup was too soupy. Edward declares Jeff’s ramen soup the winning dish, so Ludo’s kitchen gets the extra help during the next challenge. Marcus’s kitchen is second, third is Bourdain, and the worst dish if from Nigella’s kitchen. Nigella eliminates Reina because she didn’t listen to criticism at all, which makes her totally useless. Funnily enough, Reina thinks she is being sent home because she is beautiful. Oh honey, no. That is most definitely not it.

Individual Challenge

Edward Lee shows his new team how to cook from their hearts using eight ingredients or less, which is sort of my trick only I use three ingredients or less and yes, salt is an ingredient. Kimchi, pork rinds, yummy things, and Cassandra refuses to taste it which is just about the rudest thing I’ve seen on a cooking show. If you sign up for The Taste, you’d better be ready to taste food. Meat is a food. A delicious, nutritious food.  You put it in your piehole, chew, swallow, and repeat. And somewhere along the way, you taste, and you enjoy, and maybe you learn a little something, too. But Cassandra has been a vegetarian for a whole five years, guys, so come on. Give her a break. Five years! So she decides to cook tomato soup and grilled cheese. Good luck with that, lady.

The chefs give their teams a pep talk and send them off into their kitchens alone, to cook a dish that says a little something about themselves. Everyone is eyeballing Nigella’s team, and I’m not sure they’re wrong. Crystal is making meatloaf with bacon on top and “the bacon will tell me the meatloaf’s done.” I don’t know that you can win a competition like this with meatloaf. Jay is making a simplistic looking roasted chicken with cornbread stuffing and Jacquelyn is kind of cackling in the background, so who knows.

Edward inspired a schnitzel and some dumplings, and even Cassandra kicked it up a notch with a roasted salmon and mashed cauliflower (though she takes the skin off of the salmon—major rookie move!). Jeff’s Buffalo chicken looks suspect, though.

Shellie’s rice cooker isn’t cooking, Crystal’s meatloaf incubator keeps losing heat, Jeff needs to learn to make smaller bites, forty-seven seconds left and the spoons are as done as they’re gonna get. The mentors roll out to taste the spoons. It’s a blind tasting, so anything can happen.

Tony’s Team

Brad’s grilled shrimp: “I think Jimmy Buffet made this dish.”

Shelly’s short ribs: balanced, good rice.

Dana’s Navajo nachos: I cannot believe that Ludo likes this

Lee’s meatballs: Marcus doesn’t like the meatballs, but Ludo would put the sauce in his restaurant

Nigella’s Team

Crystal’s meatloaf: There are no utensils and this is not finger food, so eew. “This is not my dream date in the meatloaf department.

Jacqueline’s chili verde: Nigella would like more heat

Jay’s cornbread dressing and chicken: Ludo calls it a disaster

Ludo’s Team

Jeff’s Buffalo chicken: big hit. Huge.

Salmon with cauliflower puree: They like it, sort of

Marina’s egg dumpling and chicken rice soup: delicate, Nigella’s licking the spoon

Louise’s pork schnitzel: Bourdain is confused, but he’d like it with a nice dry Riesling.

Marcus’s Team

Sarah’s seared halibut with shrimp: very spicy, kind of burning, but pretty good

Audrey’s chorizo and pesto over pasta: the flavor seems off, and it’s oily

Shehu’s cream of garlic soup with salmon: the dish lacks personality, but the fish is cooked perfectly

Don’s carnitas and kale: “Incredibly well-balanced”

Oh. My. Gawd. There’s a reality television romance between Cassandra and Lee. On, like, Day Two. I’m embarrassed for them, really. But that’s just a distraction from the food. Who got gold stars, and who is up for elimination? Tony and Ludo’s favorite dish is Lee’s meatballs, from Tony’s team. Marcus and Nigella’s favorite is Jeff’s chicken wings, from Ludo’s team.

Tony, Ludo (“Ze wan I dun like tonight eez.…), and Nigella’s worst taste is from Jay, who is on Nigella’s team. Marcus’s worst is Audrey, who is on his own team. Well, that seems pretty clear cut. Audrey’s chorizo and peppers with pesto pasta is filled with a sappy, craptastic story. But in the end, none of that food should’ve been anywhere together on that plate. Jay’s sad plate of roasted chicken and cornbread dressing was unbalanced, dry, and did Jay just cut Tony off mid-sentence? He needs to stop talking. And when I say “stop talking,” I do not mean “shout loudly at the chefs.” But, ugh, if Audrey talks about taking the “naughty” foods and turning them healthy one more time, I’m going to vomit nachos all over my laptop. That girl doesn’t know the first thing about naughty, but that’s a whole other story.

And it’s Jay going home. That means Nigella’s team is down to two people, neither of which have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning this competition.

• My imaginary boyfriend Anthony Bourdain
• Scandal-plagued British chef Nigella Lawson
• Frenchy French French French Ludo Lefebvre
• Ethiopian-by-way-of-Sweden chef Marcus Samuelson

First up is a hipster dish (pronounced “eepstair” by Bourdain, for Ludo’s benefit) by a professional chef named Jeff. He deconstructed rice cake with a quail egg, but it was a little sticky for Tony, a little dry for Marcus, a little toothsome for Nigella who offers him a spot in her kitchen anyhow, and bleu bleu bleu which I guess is an invitation from Ludo. Jeff goes with Team Ludo.

Reina is a home cook who has this Charo thing happening, which is not a good thing for the kitchen because it creates chaos. Her spoons look disgusting. It looks like dog food but has good flavor and texture. Is Nigella seriously adding this mess to her team? Good luck with that, lady.

Don is a Texas winemaker, which, that’s a thing that happens? Okay! Kind of love him. He lost his high school sweetheart wife nine months ago and cooking brought him back from the brink. YOU MUST PUT DON ON A TEAM, PEOPLE! He prepared Thai-spiced deep-fried oysters, which yum. Tony passes, Nigella is a no, Ludo is a yes! And keeps calling him “bro”! And Marcus is a yes! Go with Team Marcus so you don’t have to listen to the wine snobbery, Don. Trust me. Also, Marcus has six freaking James Beard awards. Yes! Team Marcus! My money is now on Don, which means he will likely go down in the first round.

Some guy named Sevan who is an admitted douchenozzle has the audacity to serve raw food as an audition for a cooking competition. He says that it is a “tropical spoon of love with the ocean inside of it.” Tony says it’s every food crime in one, Marcus calls it disgusting, and Sevan is on his way home.

Sarah’s on Marcus’s team, some chick is on Nigella’s team, and a guy in a green jacket is on Marcus’s team. So, Tony doesn’t have a single cook. Picky, picky, picky. There’s a woman named Shellie with a stoner comfort food truck up next, and she curses a lot so I’m hoping she ends up on Tony’s team. But she forgot her show plate and the spoons were a little too full. Ludo found it bland, the balance was off for Nigella, Marcus calls it unfocused, and of course Tony gives her a spot on his team.

Next up is a vegetarian. But she prepared Indian food, which is in Ton’s wheelhouse. And they all like it, sort of. Hmm. It’s too sweet for all of the chefs, so the vegetarian takes the long walk of shame.

Oh jeez. Cassandra is a “healthy living guru” from New York City, and she is making cupcakes and cannot stop giggling. But wait! They’re vegan cupcakes! Lemme guess…she’s single. “If there’s anything I’d put my fate in, it would be a cupcake heh heh huh heh!” The judges are making disgusting faces and in walks Peppy In Pink. Ludo looks like he’s going to shove those vegan cupcakes where the sun don’t shine. Go home, useless vegan! Wait, what? Ludo’s pissed because he accidentally pressed the “yes” button and can’t take it back! Oh my. He looks nauseous.

There’s this nutter Audrey who is obsessed with Nigella. She’s making meatballs, which I think makes her a nutball. Lugo says the meatballs are “not so good,” they were too “healthy” for Tony, Nigella found it too dry and…there’s the puppy dog face. And for some reason, Marcus gives her a spot on his team. Rookie move, Marcus.

Lee the waiter is really a chef. He is preparing lobster tail in bacon chowder, potato chive crisp, and other deliciousness. Tony is drooling all over this guy. Invite from Nigella, Marcus, Ludo, and “you remind me of me” Tony. Aaaand Lee joins Tony’s team, which means I have to share my imaginary boyfriend with another man.

Jay is a wedding cake designer and his ginger pork pot stickers lure in Bourdain, Ludo, and Nigella. He chooses Nigella’s team.

Kyle is an executive chef somewhere in the wilds of Los Angeles. He was on the first season and went home for some wacky chicken fried watermelon. Kyle has learned not a thing from his first ouster and serves up a reconstructed something-or-other that looks like a ball of fluff. Ludo spits it out, and Nigella recalls “that one laaahhhst year with the watermelon,” and out walks Kyle. As Tony says, “technically, you did an extraordinary thing, but it doesn’t taste good!” Kyle’s taste buds must be shot, and the chefs send him packing.

Dana gets a yes from Marcus and Anthony with a steak taco even though she announced to the world that she doesn’t enjoy working with male chefs. She picks Tony because he’s sweet and cuddly and filled with rainbows and unicorns and not at all like a male chef.

Shehu is a (hottish) professional chef from the mean streets of Staten Island. He’s preparing seared scallops with celery root puree and a red wine reduction. Hmm. Nigella bites, Ludo passes, Tony is a no, and Marcus quotes the Wu-Tang Clan in an effort to woo him over to his team. Shehu picks Marcus’s team, which he calls “Team NYC.”

Nigella needs one more cook, and Ludo needs two. Louise the food stylist does not want to be on Ludo’s team because she thinks that he wouldn’t take her seriously, but he’s the only one who chooses her so there you have it.

More spoons, lots of rejects, “theeez deeesh is vurrry sad.” Then, Marina the middle-aged free-spirit home cook rolls in and cooks fried shrimp and pickled broccoli stem. There’s also Michelle, a professional cook who has a chicken and waffles restaurant. The judges pass on Michelle’s corn cake and filet mignon, but Ludo snaps up Marina.

So those are the teams. A smattering of miscellaneousness, and no surprise, each team was required to take one wackadoodle. Game on.

Reprinted from HealthyWayToCook.com

Reprinted with permission from www.healthywaytocook.com

We made it to the finale, and four cooks remain: Khristianne (Malarkey’s kitchen), Diane (Bourdain’s kitchen), Gregg (Ludo’s kitchen), and Sarah (pronounced Saaagggurglehhhaaa, from Ludo’s kitchen). The Taste is pulling out all the stops, playing super suspenseful music with quick cutaways of the contestants looking nervous, and bringing in world-renowned chef and restaurateur José Andrés as the guest judge.

Reprinted with permission from www.healthywaytocook.com

It’s the semi-finals! Three of the seven cooks are going home, and no more immunity. Today’s guest judge is restaurateur Ingrid Hoffmann, who will judge the Team Challenge and mentor the team of the winning cook for the Individual Challenge.

Team Challenge

The mentors choose five sexy ingredients, and the cooks must use one as the main ingredient in a sensuous spoonful. Nigella selects figs, pancetta, sea salt, sambuca, and beef for her sole cook Kathy Bates Lauren. Anthony chooses caviar, prosciutto, buckwheat flour, truffles, and prawns to get Diane’s juices flowing. Ludo picks lobster, dover sole, champagne, caviar, and truffles for his three-person team, and Malarkey gives Khristianne and Jeff oysters, lobster, caviar, abalone, and grapes.

Malarkey puts up Jeff’s spoon, which is oyster with passionfruit and caviar. Ingrid finds it to be nice and soft and fresh. The next spoon is Diane’s grilled prawn with butter bisque and shaved truffle. Ingrid couldn’t quite place the sauce. After a session of bedroom eyes, Ludo chooses Sarah’s spoonful of panna cotta with caviar and caramel sauce. Ingrid is not a fan of caramel, but thinks that it has a nice spicy kick at the back. Kathy Bates Lauren loads up a spoon with Italian kisses with blackberry and chocolate sauce. Ingrid calls it interesting, but is confused about the protein. Ingrid selects Sarah’s panna cotta as the sexiest spoonful, which is Team Ludo’s fourth win in a row. That makes Ludo a good mentor, but it does not necessarily make his team good cooks.

Individual Challenge

The cooks have one hour to make the most seductive spoons of their lives, and pair them with a beverage. Chocolate, octopus stew, Bourdain doesn’t find desserts sexy, uni, caviar, Nigella likes it a little rough, mussels, sashimi, artichoke, mouth explosions, broth, pasta, and deep fried butter. Somehow, the cooks turned all of that into sexy little spoonfuls.

• Jeff prepared snapper and uni sashimi with a sake gimlet. “I was looking for a higher bar.”

• Lauren made a spicy octopus stew with tequila. Note to self: corn chips are not sexy.

• Diane serves up a chocolate pate with cherries and a glass of Malbec. “First it’s the champagne and oysters, and then it’s the chocolate, and then it’s time to go get a little bang bang bang bang.”

• Paul made king crab, artichoke and octopus with a verbena champagne cocktail. “If you’re gonna do octopus, you’d better nail it.”

• Khristianne cooked uni, king crab and egg 63 with champagne. “I’m a big nasty slut, take me now.”

• Gregg prepared caviar and uni butter pasta with champagne. “Plump, semi-engorged sacs of eggs, who doesn’t like them?”

• Sarah cooked mussels with leeks and sangria. “The drink is absolutely wrong.”

Gregg and Sarah are safe and are in the finals. Tony’s best is, unsurprisingly, Khristianne’s uni,  and his worst is Paul’s octopus. Malarkey’s best is also Khristianne’s uni, and his worst is Lauren’s stew. Nigella’s best is Jeff’s sashimi, and her worst is Diane’s chocolate bang bang. Ludo’s best is Khristianne’s uni, and his worst is Jeff’s sashimi.

A stunned Khristianne gets three of the four judges’ votes for best dish.

 

 

Conveniently, that puts one cook from each of the four kitchens on the chopping block. After gushing over Khristianne’s dish, the judges unanimously send Paul and Lauren home, or wherever failed reality television contestants go. And between Diane and Jeff, the judges decide to give the last spot in the finals to Diane and cut Jeff. Next week is the finals, with Gregg, Sarah, Khristianne, and Diane all competing for…I don’t even remember. Probably a set of steak knives and a year’s supply of Turtle Wax.

Reprinted with permission from www.healthywaytocook.com

Frédéric Morin and David McMillan, chefs at Montreal’s Joe Beef, will be our guest judges because this week, it’s all about meat. But not just any old cut of meat. The cooks are frying up the off cuts. Offal. Trotters, ears, eyeballs, balls, the yummy parts.

Team Challenge

The cooks have two hours to make one spoon featuring at least one of four ingredients selected by their mentors. The person who wins immunity cannot be considered for the bottom four, and three people will go home. Three people? Wow. It’s a bloodbath before the cooks even make it to the kitchen! The winning cook’s team will get Fred and Dave’s help in the kitchen for the individual challenge.

Nigella selects ham hock, sweetbreads, pig ears, and bull testicles for her sole cook, Lauren. Malarkey chooses yellowtail collar, sweetbreads, pig tongue, and lamb belly. Tony is in his happy place and picks tripe, cow tongue, sweetbreads, and pig tail. Ludo gives his kitchen oxtail, pig head, beef cheeks, and pig’s blood. It sounds delicious already.

I’m recognizing too many body parts here. There’s a pig tail getting chopped to bits, tongues, blood, balls, and everyone turns into a twelve-year-old boy. As if there wasn’t enough blood and guts going on in the kitchen, Gregg hacks up a pig’s head with a chainsaw. This is only rivaled by the disgusting display of Ludo gazing at Sarah, like a French bulldog in heat. In order to cook the pig’s head in time, Gregg cranks up the heat on the pressure cooker to “explosion.” It’s okay to be disappointed that he didn’t sustain any serious facial injuries, right?

Tony puts up Uno’s tripe with cow tongue and pig tail, Nigella chooses her only cook’s ham and lentil stew with a testicle fritter, Malarkey picks Khristianne’s pork tongue, sweetbreads, and bone marrow, and Ludo hates us all so he selects Gregg’s piggy pig’s head. The judges disappoint everyone and choose Gregg’s spoon for the win.

Once again, Team Ludo celebrates their win in the team challenge.

 

Individual Challenge

The cooks are given two hours to create a spoon featuring an off cut piece of meat. Gregg is making something Asian, Diane is using beef cheeks, Paul is mixing sweetbreads with too many starches, Adam’s making veal sweetbreads, Khristianne’s making sweetbreads with a veal reduction because “I had this in my baby bottle,” NinaMarie is totally grossed out and chooses veal sweetbreads, and isn’t the kitchen out of sweetbreads by now? Uno’s making a shrimp soup dumpling, and Kathy Bates Lauren (thank you for that one, Diane) is making Thai food.

And then, something wonderful happens. Gregg slices a piece of his finger off. Now, I don’t wish pain on anyone, but…if one of the cooks had to slice their finger off, I would nominate Gregg. And I’d choose his index finger. On his dominant hand.

• Diane made braised beef cheeks with turnip puree.

• Gregg cooked pho with oxtail and calf tongue.If there was some meat there it would’ve been nice….

• NinaMarie’s sweetbreads with pork skin and veal falls flat.Sweetbreads? Again?

• Adam combined Thai style sweetbreads with pork rinds and kabocha squash puree.What is it?

• Khristianne’s crispy sweetbreads and pig ear with caper beurre blanc is just like mamma used to make.Perfectly balanced. I can’t find fault with that dish.

• Uno cooked pork dumpling soup with fried shrimp heads.

• Jeff made rabbit galantine with pork and chicken livers.Sweet. Really sweet.

• Paul cooked sweetbreads with oxtail jus and celery root puree.It had a little tooth to it.

• Sarah kept it simple with liver and onions.

• Lauren cooked Thai pork cheeks and fried sweetbreads over rice.I can’t taste the protein.

How did the cooks do? Nigella’s best is Khristianne’s sweetbreads, and her worst is Adam’s sweetbreads. Ludo’s best is Jeff’s rabbit, and his worst is Uno’s soupy pork and shrimp. Malarkey’s best is Khristianne’s dish, and his worst is Lauren’s Thai disaster. Tony’s best is Uno’s pork and shrimp (which is Ludo’s worst), and his worst is Nina Marie’s veal. Khristianne earns two gold stars, so she’s this week’s winner (and is a real contender to win the entire competition).

Nina Marie, Adam, Uno, and Lauren are all up for elimination. Uno is in the odd position of having a vote for the best and worst dish. Malarkey doesn’t think shrimp embraced the challenge and Ludo didn’t like the interior of Uno’s dumplings, Adam made a mushy spoon that didn’t take a risk, Nina Marie’s dish tasted sour, and Tony held back his real criticism of Lauren’s dish because he has seen Misery too many times.

The cooks are all in denial that they’re going home, but the math never lies—three of the four cooks are goners. With a unanimous vote, Adam and NinaMarie take the long walk to the locker room. The third chop was tougher. Because Uno didn’t really tackle the challenge, the judges send her home. That means Nigella’s kitchen remains open for business with Lauren flailing about and missing the mark more often than not.

It appears that next week is the finale of The Taste, and it’s all about sexy food.

Reprinted with permission from www.healthywaytocook.com

Do you like sandwiches? Of course you do, because you’re an American with a mouth and at least a few good teeth left. Well lucky for you, this week’s episode is all about the humble sandwich.

Team Challenge

The cooks are tasked with creating the perfect bite of an American classic sandwich: the club, peanut butter and jelly, or some kind of “salad.” Guest judges Mario Cabone and Rich Torrisi, chef/owners of Torrisi Italian Specialties, will be doing the tasting off of teeny tiny plates instead of spoons. The winning cook gets immunity.

In Malarkey’s kitchen, there’s lamb in a muffin pan, roast pork, and chicken curry. Ludo’s kitchen is cooking up a tuna salad with mayonnaise, Thanksgiving on a bun, and a lot of hostility. According to Gregg, it’s how French chefs communicate. Nigella’s two-person kitchen is making chicken, and chicken. Bourdain’s team is making shrimp egg salad (which sounds disgusting), pork taco, pork belly, and we learn that Tony doesn’t like brioche. Okay, so that’s no sea bass, and no brioche. Duly noted.

The judges will get to taste Diane’s pork taco, Huda’s fried chicken sandwich, Khristianne’s chicken curry, Gregg’s tuna sandwich. The judges choose Gregg’s sandwich, which makes people want to sucker punch Gregg in the gut more than normal.

Individual Challenge

The individual challenge is a lot like the team challenge—make a sandwich in an hour. But without the restraints of the classic American-style sandwich, the cooks get a little more creative. After a flurry of kitchen activity (including a few cooks making their own bread in an hour!), it’s hands up and sandwiches down. So how did they do?

• The judges can’t figure out what’s in Adam’s cubano.
  Is that chicken or turkey?

• Khristianne’s pork belly and chicken liver mousse is a big hit.

• Gregg’s curried lamb on naan is all about ego, according to Gregg who is the foremost expert on both Gregg and ego. The judges do not like it and the bread comes across as pastry.

• Lauren’s Mediterranean lamb on naan kicks Gregg’s lamb on naan’s ass.
  It’s the kind of sandwich that would make me reconsider my social plans so that I could enjoy it.

• Jeff’s hot beef sandwich hits some happy notes with pesto ad caramelized onions.

• NinaMarie’s beef carpaccio is a hit and a miss. Ludo likes its mushiness, but Malarkey thinks the mushiness is too mushy.

• Sarah’s fried oyster taco is not exactly a sandwich, but it is rather tasty.

• Diane’s bahn mi is waaaaay too bready.

• Adam forgot to put the bacon on his steak and fried green tomato sandwich, but the judges like it anyhow.

• Mia made lamb and eggplant on naan, which underwhelmed the judges and left Nigella with a charred flavor in her mouth.
  Seriously? More naan? Is this the next big thing? Like we’re going to start seeing naan pop-up restaurants all over Brooklyn?

• Uno’s steamed beef bun impresses the judges because she made her own bread, even though she really just baked it from premade pizza dough.

• Huda made a chicken pesto sandwich that Tony mistakes for tuna because it’s undercooked.
  Mine was a raw chicken sandwich.

The contestants aren’t pleased with the judges’ comments.

With the judges full and the cooks jittery, it’s time to see which two cooks are going home this week. Bourdain’s best is Lauren, and his worst is Huda. Malarkey chose Jeff’s steak sandwich as his favorite, and Mia gets a thumbs down. Ludo also liked Jeff’s sandwich, and picked Gregg as the worst which, yeah. That feels kind of good. Nigella’s best is Nina Marie, and her worst is Diane.

With two thumbs up, Jeff’s simple steak sandwich is the winner. Gregg has immunity, so his lousy lamb is safe. That means it’s between Mia’s charred lamb and eggplant, Huda’s undercooked chicken pesto, and Diane’s bready bahn mi.

The decision is unanimous, and Huda goes home. You just can’t serve raw chicken on television. Also out is Mia, whose burned bread is unforgivable. This leaves Nigella with a team of one, Lauren, who has been hit-or-miss all season. That should make next week very interesting.

Reprinted with permission from www.healthywaytocook.com

Last week, the cooks served up spoonfuls of comfort food. This week, it’s all about perfect pairings.

Team Challenge

For the team challenge, the cooks must each create a dish using five ingredients selected by their mentors that pair well with an Argentinian Malbec. The winning team gets the benefit of guest judges Michelin-starred chef David Kinch and sommelier Andre Mack during the Solo Taste Test. Nigella’s Team will be using calf’s liver, harissa (hot chili sauce), couscous, ground lamb, and lamb sausage. Malarkey’s Team must cook with figs, almonds, bone marrow, filet mignon, and sea salt. Anthony went all meat for his team and selected beef steak, chorizo, beef tongue, lamb kidney, and lamb chops. Ludo’s Team has an odd assortment of white miso, bonito flakes (dried, smoked fish), charcoal (huh?), smoked eel, and cassis.

Tony encourages his ladies to drink as much as possible, and it seems to have spilled over to Nigella because she seems a tad tipsy, too. Tony chooses Uno’s Thai beef salad spoon for judging. Ludo selects Gregg’s short ribs, which his team says has no “wow factor.” Nigella goes with Erika’s spoon that had something with cilantro, and Malarkey picks Adam’s squab with red wine reduction.

The judges ultimately chose Gregg’s short ribs, and I think the only person happy about that is Gregg because he’s perpetually pleased with himself.

Solo Taste Test

The cooks must create food and wine pairings using one of four different wine styles: German Riesling, California Chardonnay, French Côtes du Rhône, and Italian Barolo.

There’s some berries and Riesling, we learn that artichoke makes wine taste too sweet, pork shoulder, duck, salmon, and the chef questions whether Sarah can pull off her dish. Khristianne accuses the white wines of being easier than the reds, and Diane’s ego may be getting in the way of her cooking.

The four mentors taste the spoons blind and vote for the best and the worst. Since the spoons are paired with wines, the judges should be hilariously hammered by the time they have to vote out two of the cooks. So, what did they cook for us this week?

• Mia paired shrimp and charred cauliflower with Chardonnay.

• Gregg paired pasta with Bolognese sauce and a glass of Barolo.

• Erika’s miso orange sea bass is paired with Chardonnay.
  “You almost use the wine to get the taste out of your mouth!”

• Adam’s seafood with saffron aioli is paired with Chardonnay.

• Diane serves up blood sausage with potato gratin and Côtes du Rhône.
  Ludo thought it was cheating because the blood sausage was already made.

• Sarah poached salmon and served it with clam salad and a Chardonnay.
  The judges practically spit it out.

• Paul paired Côtes du Rhône with rack of lamb.

• Uno gave the judges chicken and egg and Chardonnay.
  “I just don’t know what the **** is going on here.”

• Huda baked a lemon zabaione and paired it with Riesling.
  “It’s waaaaaay too sweet. Sweet on sweet. Sweet, sweet, sweet.”

• NinaMarie cooked braised pork shoulder and paired it with Barolo.
  “That had really good flavor but it’s horrendous looking.”

• Jeff paired Chardonnay with seared sole and sweet pea puree
  “I’m transported back to 1986.”

• Lauren paired steak and polenta with Côtes du Rhône.

• Khristianne’s braised duck is paired with Barolo.
  “I thought that was sexy.”

• Shawn’s sea bass with goat cheese ravioli is paired with Chardonnay.
  “Who would put goat cheese with fish?”

And how did their dishes pan out? There was some good, and some really, really bad. Tony’s best is NinaMarie’s pork shoulder, and his worst is Huda’s sweet sloppy lemon zabaione. Ludo’s best is Khristianne’s duck, and his worst is Sarah’s salmon. Malarkey also enjoyed Khristianne’s duck, and he hated Erika’s sea bass. Nigella also selected NinaMarie’s pork shoulder as her favorite, and her worst is Shawn’s cheesy sea bass.

Both Khristianne and NinaMarie are winners this week with two votes each. As for the worst, two of the four cooks up for elimination will be going home. Huda, Shawn, Sarah and Erika are the bottom four. Two cooks from Nigella’s kitchen are at risk (Huda and Erika), and two from Ludo’s kitchen (Shawn and Sarah).

Huda’s sweet sweet sweet was not going down well with anyone except for Nigella. Tony recommends she pair Riesling with sauerkraut next time. Both Erika and Shawn cooked Chilean sea bass, and it turns out that Tony hates Chilean sea bass. That’s so…specific? Somehow, Sarah’s salmon was described as both bland, and overpowering.

In the end, the mentors eliminated one cook from each team: Erika from Nigella’s team goes home, and Shawn from Ludo’s team.  Wow. Anthony Bourdain really doesn’t like Chilean sea bass.

Next week, the cooks make us some sandwiches.