Peggy is doing market research at a rather miserable looking Burger Shack. Meanwhile, Pete is joining the Mile High Club on a flight to New York City with his real estate agent, Bonnie.

Bonnie and Pete pop in on Don at the office before a big Burger Chef meeting. Pete asks Don to join the meeting, which is totally awkward for Lou and mildly awkward for Peggy. She presents the concept—give the moms permission to have Burger Chef, a tasty treat. She knocks it out of the park while Don beams like a proud papa. Then, Pete wants Don to give the pitch to the client. “Don will give authority, and you will give emotion.” Ted is on speaker phone and says that it’s Peggy’s decision. She backs down and lets Don take the glory and oh my gawd Peggy what is wrong with you?!

Peggy tells Don that she wants him to do the Burger Chef presentation. The disappointment on his face is genuine…right up until she leaves the office, at which point he silently celebrates. But first, he proposes a slightly different concept. Yeah. Don’s back.

Roger’s having a schvitz and runs into an executive from Burger Chef’s former agency, McCann. He heard that Roger was trying to land a tobacco company. Then, Roger possibly gets a job offer. Hmm. I never really thought about Roger’s future, but he really doesn’t have much of one at the agency.

Bob Benson’s back in town! Remember Bob? He wants to see Joan. Unfortunately his, er, *cough* business associate landed himself in jail. Turns out Sterling Cooper Draper Price is losing the Chevy account and the work is being taken in-house, but Buick is going to give Bob a very nice job offer and let the agency bid on another account.

Peggy can’t sleep and what is she wearing? That is the unsexiest bubblegum pink negligee in the world. She knows that what she did was weak and spineless, but there’s no taking it back. The Don is out of the bag, and with one great pitch, he’ll be back on top. The next morning she puffs away on cigarettes she shouldn’t be smoking and calls Stan. It’s a Saturday, and she can’t stop working. She doesn’t like the concept for Burger Chef. “We both know there’s a better idea.”

Oh this is sad. Pete visits his daughter, Tammy, and she has no idea who he is, choosing to hide behind the nanny rather than take the Barbie from the strange man in the plaid jacket. He eventually lures her into a car for a lovely afternoon. But when they return, Trudy still isn’t back. So he comes up with a reason to stick around to lecture Trudy about her loose and immoral ways.

Peggy gets drunk and calls Don and wants to know why he’s undermining her by coming up with another concept. When Don finally ditches her, he watches Megan pick through the closets for her summer clothes. He hopes she’ll stick around, but Megan has become immune to New York’s charms. Don gives up and goes into the office. Peggy knows that Don thinks her idea is shitty because he pitched his own. She demands he “show me how you think,” and Don explains that you can’t tell people what they want because it has to be what you want. And he always starts at the beginning again, in the hopes that he won’t end up in the same place.

After the sun goes down and many, many drinks have been consumed, Peggy has a breakthrough—what if the mother is coming home from work. Don won’t have any of it because it’s too modern. This leads to Deep Thoughts By Peggy Olsen. “What the hell do I know about being a mom? I just turned thirty, Don.” And now she’s one of those women lying about her age. Doing the survey of moms at Burger World just about killed her. Aww. Poor Peggy. She never really wanted to be a groundbreaking, ambitious businesswoman. And then all of that whining and reflection turns into the big idea—what if you could go somewhere, anywhere, and you’re always surrounded by family. Oh no, not Don and Peggy dancing in a darkened office. Nope, I don’t like this one bit. Stop dancing immediately, you’re creeping me out!

Gasp! Bob busts out a ring! Joan tells him to put it away. “You don’t want this. Bob, you shouldn’t be with a woman.” Bob’s moving on to the Buick account, and they expect a certain kind of executive. So Joan can stay in New York and Kevin could have a father, or they could have a mansion in Detroit. But all Joan can hear is that they lost the Chevy account. And she wants love, and “would rather die hoping that happens than make some arrangement.” Goodbye, Bob.

Chevy is officially no longer the agency’s account, and somehow that means Harry Crane is a partner. A vote is taken, and congratulations Harry? Well okay.

Peggy, Don, and Pete go to Burger Chef. Peggy wants to shoot the ad in the “restaurant.” She tosses the idea out there that every table is the family table. Pete balks, but Don has her back. And the three really do look like a very odd, utterly dysfunctional family.

Next week on the mid-season finale, Don either saves the agency, or ruins the agency.

Reprinted from HauteTalk.com

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Remember Don’s dead wife’s daughter, Stephanie? She’s gone full hippie and calls Don to tell him that she’s in Los Angeles, pregnant and running out of money. Don gives Stephanie Megan’s address and tells her that he will fly out to see her that night. Megan seems oddly okay with it and cancels a party she was planning so… they’re back together again in wedded bliss and harmony?

Lou screwed up. He left his personal work—storyboards for a comic book about a boy scouting monkey named Scout—on the Xerox machine for the entire creative department to find and now they’re trying to insert a character named Scout into every pitch. But is this the kind of thing that will put Lou in breach of his two-year contract? Or just make him the laughing stock of the office?

A pitch meeting turns awkward when Lou lets everyone know that he knows they know and “Scout’s Honor” is way better than Underdog or Bob Dylan, and everyone is just a bunch of dream-crushing commies. Lou then asserts his dominance over the pack of hyenas and demands everyone get back to work, and work and work and work. Don needs to get on that last flight out to California so he brings Lou his ideas and heads for the door. But Lou is a bastard and won’t let him leave. Don goes back to his desk and calls Megan to tell her that he will be there in the morning instead. How on earth is Don taking this from Lou?!

Stephanie arrives at Megan’s place and the two of them compliment each other on their mutual beauty. They chat, it gets uncomfortable when Megan realizes that Stephanie knows Don better than she does and Megan writes Stephanie a check for a thousand dollars because “it’s better this way.” Stephanie looks crestfallen. She wanted family, not money. She takes the check and leaves. Don arrives the next morning and is greeted by Megan and her friend Amy. “I’m sorry, but Stephanie left. I really tried to get her to stay….” Liar! Megan is pleased with herself, but Don is not pleased at all.

Ginsberg sees Lou and Jim talking in the computer room. He can’t hear anything, but he rushes over to Peggy’s apartment. “There’s something going on. The computer.” He decided that the computer turns men gay, so he and Peggy have to reproduce. She pushes him off and suggests that he see a doctor because he’s not right in the head. And he’s not. Ginsberg’s paranoia has been a mild undercurrent for a while now, and it has finally turned into a real thing.

Oh good, Megan’s party is back on. It’s exactly what you’d expect for a twenty-something actress in Los Angeles in the early seventies. Only I did not expect a clarinet player. Or Megan dancing provocatively with a denim-clad man half Don’s age. Oh they are so sleeping together. And then, Harry Crane arrives. His date invited him to a party and he had no idea it was Megan’s party. This is odd since Harry is married, but whatever. Don suggests that he and Harry grab a drink. Once at the bar, Harry explains that “guys like us” have to look out for each other. Harry says that Don should be in Los Angeles because his wife is out there and Ted is useless. He lets Don know that Jim and Lou are pursuing Philip Morris, at which point Don will have to go because he wrote that Lucky Strike letter. Don is grateful for the inside scoop.

When Don returns to the house, the party is over except for Megan, Amy and drugs. He declines and goes to bed instead, so Amy and Megan follow. Uh, what? Don looks confused. He prefers his women more traditionally sexy. Also, this pretty much confirms that Megan has been sleeping around while he has been on his best behavior back in New York. But he eventually gets the hang of it and wakes up in an overcrowded bed. Stephanie calls the next morning to let Don know that she’s okay, so Don gets himself back to New York to make something of his inside scoop.

Back in New York, Ginsberg is himself again. Only with feelings he needs to express to Peggy. Or, Ginsberg is still crazy and gives Peggy a box with his nipple in it!!! She leaves her office as calmly as possible to call for help. Ginsberg is wheeled out of the office strapped to a stretcher. And with that, the computer claims its first victim.

Don strolls into the Philip Morris meeting he was not invited to and tells the executives that if they are willing to give the agency a shot, he is willing to leave. He then masterfully tosses Lou under the bus while turning his negative (the Lucky Strike letter) into a positive (his decades of tobacco experience and the suggestion that Philip Morris would look powerful if they forced Don Draper to apologize). And with that deft maneuver, Don Draper is back.

Reprinted from HauteTalk.com

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Pete is out to dinner with his hot real estate agent, Bonnie, when he runs into George Payton from Vicks. He’s at Burger Chef now and business cards are exchanged.

Don arrives to find the office empty. Zombie apocalypse? Or… a new computer is arriving. And it’s going to take up a very large footprint. A footprint the size of the creative lounge. In the words of Ginsburg, “Harry Crane took a huge dump and we got flushed down the toilet.”

Roger’s first ex-wife pops in to let Roger know that their daughter has run off to a hippie commune. She needs Roger to retrieve her, but I’m guessing she doesn’t know how deep off of the deep end Roger has fallen. I think we may have our first real hippie problem. I was hoping it’d be Sally Draper, but I’ll take Margaret Sterling instead.

Lou calls Peggy into his office. He’s giving her a raise. And, he’s putting her in charge of Burger Chef. She’ll have to work with Don, and… does this make Peggy Don’s boss? She calls Don into her office, which is fun. And she’s drinking whiskey, which is cruel. She takes charge of the meeting by inviting Don to sit on the couch with some young creative to announce that they are both on her team. Her team. Don is giving Peggy a stone cold stare. She needs fifty tag lines by Monday. Don does not take it well and, upon returning to his office, immediately sacrifices a typewriter.

Rather than attend Peggy’s Burger Chef meeting on Monday morning with fifty tag lines, Don is playing solitaire and he has precisely zero taglines. This poses a strategic problem for Peggy. She decides to move the meeting to the end of the day and tells the young creative to give her twenty-five more.

Later that day, Don reads a book and trades yuks with the computer installation guy whose business is booming. It gives Don an idea. He wants to pitch new business to the computer guys. He brings it to Bert Cooper who is basically like, “GTFO, we were fine without you, just go back to the dead guy’s office and collect your paycheck.” Don leaves, then doubles back for a bottle of booze which he pours into a can of soda. Wow. Don really doesn’t have anything up his sleeve. This is a first.

Roger drives up to the hippie commune with his ex-wife. Margaret’s new name is Marigold and she’s wearing unflattering and unwashed clothing. Her mother gives it to her straight: these people are lost, and on drugs, and have venereal diseases. Marigold turns on her mother, and Roger decides to stick around a while to try and sort it out. He gives the car keys to his ex and I’m guessing Roger has finally found his people.

Drunk Don takes an office nap and calls up Freddie to go see a baseball game. Then it’s nap time again. When Freddie arrives, he wobbles Don out of the office as surreptitiously as possible and brings him back to Don’s increasingly disheveled digs to sober up. Don sleeps off his drunkenness of his couch. When he wakes up, Freddie is there to make him coffee and give him a lecture about his second chance. “Do the work, Don.” It’s exactly what a clammy, cruddy Don needs to hear.

Over at the culty commune, Roger comes to his senses. “It’s time to leave Shangri La, baby.” Roger understands the temptation, but her son needs his mother. Roger grabs her, tosses her in a truck or, oops! Into the mud. “How could you just leave him, he’s your baby.” She equates leaving her son behind to Roger working through her birthdays, but this is not that. Roger walks off, defeated. And muddy.

Don Draper is back. And so is Peggy. “I’ll have your tags by lunch.”

Next week, Lou is pissed, and Betty is confused.

Reprinted from HauteTalk.com

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Don is at the movies, smoking. Remember smoking in movie theaters? Trust me, it was a thing. Don calls Dawn. He needs a typewriter ribbon, a ream of onion skin paper and an airmail envelope. He wants Dawn to drop it off but she can’t because she is swamped with her new responsibilities. He really wants her to come over, and he wants her to put his call through to so-and-so, but Dawn is too busy for a former partner who no longer works at the agency.

Megan’s agent needs Don’s help. Megan had a substandard reading for a part. Instead of taking the rejection like a man, she got the director’s number from someone in her acting class and just happened to run into him at lunch where she begged and pleaded for another reading, tears and all. The agent wants Don to get “his girl” under control. With nothing better to do that day, or that week, Don hops on a plane to surprise Megan. And she certainly is surprised. After they have sex, he starts working on her about not being crazy when she gets rejected and confesses that her agent called. This turns Megan even crazier because Don’s never in the office when she calls and it’s always quiet and she never hears typing and then he tells her about being put on leave. A year ago. “So… you got up every day and decided you don’t want to be with me.” She kicks Don out.

Betty’s back. She’s lunching with Francine who is now a travel agent in a pink pants suit. Francine tells Betty all about the working world and how satisfying it is to not be at home with the kids all day. Betty seems skeptical. When she gets home, she volunteers to go on Bobby’s field trip as a chaperone. It’s to a farm, so this should be fun.

Harry Crane! His big client thinks that Harry should use a computer to formulate their media reports, just like Grey Advertising. Harry says that “computers don’t think, people do.” Well, we all know who wins that battle. I’m just surprised to see Harry behind on technology. Ah, he’s not. After the meeting, it’s clear that the bosses are not interested in dumping any money into Harry’s folly of a “media department.” Later that day, Harry gets a call from The Wall Street Journal to talk about their computer. The problem is, it isn’t their computer and it doesn’t do what Harry told the client it does, and it all would have been fine if Harry’s bosses hadn’t let the press know in an effort to get a leg up on Grey Advertising.

Back in New York, Don gets an offer over lunch. So Don visits Roger to find out if he can come back to work or if he should move to a new agency. “Come in Monday.” They shake, and it’s official. Don Draper is back, baby. Or is he? Don calls Megan to not really tell her the good news. “I shouldn’t have lied to you, I’m sorry, and I want everything to be okay…. I can see now that I wasn’t thinking clearly and I had this logic to what I did, blah blah blah.” Megan says he can fix it by getting a job in Los Angeles, which is not going to happen. Or is it? Foreshadowing?

So how does Don Draper walk back into work? A bundle of nerves. “It’s Lou, right? Good to see you. I’m ready to get back to work.” There’s just this minor business about Don’s office. Surely Roger can work it out… only Roger isn’t in yet. Only the grunts in the creative department are happy to see Don. “Why don’t you fellas catch me up?” Even Joan didn’t know that Don was coming back, and Cosgrove is equally confused. Don starts to realize that Roger’s offer was perhaps premature, or not one that he had the power to give. Joan goes to Bert Cooper, who says “he shouldn’t be here.” Then, it gets even weirder. Lou walks into a Donfest in the creative department and calls everyone except Don into his office.

Remember when Betty went on a field trip to a farm? She drank fresh, warm cow milk straight fro the bucket, which… is that legal? Probably not. She plans a nice picnic with her son and it’s almost like she’s a good mother… until Bobby trades Betty’s sandwich for gumdrops. Then it’s good old Bad Mother Betty again.

Roger eventually rolls into the office, drunk. He says that he’s the president of the agency and doesn’t have to ask anyone anything. Don demands that Roger call a partner’s meeting immediately. The partners (sans Don) convene in Bert’s office (sans shoes) and it is explained to Roger that nobody ever wanted Don back. Then Jim starts blathering about Harry Crane and the media department and how Don’s salary could cover the new computer they so desperately need. But contracts are conctracts, and if they want Don gone the partners will have to buy him out. Plus, they will lose their non-compete. Tough spot.

Peggy finally faces Don. “Well, I can’t say that we miss you.” “Thank you, Peggy.” Ouch.

After a long day of nothing, Don gets called into the conference room with the partners as Lou fumes outside. The partners have concluded that they would like Don to come back to work, with stipulations, the violation of which will result in termination and a loss of all partnership shares. Don is not allowed to be alone with clients, he has to stick to the script in meetings which will be approved by the partners, there’s no drinking in the office, he gets Lane’s old office, and the kicker—Don will report to Lou.

Do it, Don. Tell them to shove their stipulations and take the other job. “Okay.” Sigh.

Next week, Don adjusts to his new role and something shocking enough to leave a phone dangling happens.

Reprinted from HauteTalk.com

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It’s Sally Draper And The Case Of The Insane Eyebrows! And then it’s Peggy And The Awful Hat!

Peggy received a dozen card-less roses from… someone, but they’re not for her. She pretty much just took them off of her secretary’s desk, as if Shirley couldn’t possibly get a bouquet of flowers. She then leaves a cryptic message for Ted.

Sally lost her purse in a head shop in the village, so she wanders into her father’s office… to find someone other than her father. Some guy named Lou actually, who we guess is the new Don? Awkward? Sally tries to track down Joan, but she is at lunch. So she leaves, confused, and waits for Don at his apartment. He’s thrilled to have something to do— drive Sally back to school.

Somehow Dawn gets demoted to the front desk for not intercepting Sally and it is revealed that Lou, who is the new Don, does not like sharing a secretary with the old Don. But Joan fixes everything and puts the ditzy blonde chick from the front desk in Dawn’s place as Lou’s secretary, which he’s going to hate in about five minutes. You know who else is not a fan of the personnel switcheroo? Burt Cooper, who doesn’t like his receptionist.

California is not as sunny as it sounds. Pete is frustrated because every time he brings in new business, someone in New York undermines the account. Also, there are only two offices and Ted has the better one and doesn’t have any interest or ambition in branching out to bigger and better… things.

The car ride up to Sally’s school gets uncomfortable when they both realize that they are lying. But Sally has the trump card with Don’s affair, so she wins this round. Don eventually comes clean about taking a break from work, and Sally’s sharp enough to see that if Don’s not working and he’s not in California, he doesn’t really want to be with Megan anymore.

Peggy’s drunk. She angrily ignores Ted’s call and then learns that the flowers were never hers. But instead of being apologetic, perhaps a little humbled, she lashes out at her secretary and demands that Joan give her a new “girl.” And then it sinks in that she left that insane message for Ted, and… ouch. Poor sad, lonely Peggy. She’s trying to be like the men, only what might look good on Lou doesn’t suit her very well.

Joan gets a job offer from Jim. He realizes that Joan is actually working, like, five different jobs and would be a great “account man” and tells her that an office upstairs is open if she wants to make a move. Then Dawn gets Joan’s old office and takes on a new role as the head of personnel. Hmm. Dawn for the win!

Next week, Harry Crane, Joan in fetching floral and Don’s surroundings get even darker.

Reprinted from HauteTalk.com

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Freddie is freelancing for Sterling Cooper Draper Price And What Is The Name Of This Agency Again and pitches a revolutionary new ad concept to Peggy. She is blown away, but not half as blown away as I am at the scene in Roger’s bedroom. Oh hi, naked Roger Sterling post-orgy. How I’ve missed your irreverent antics. And Joan, don’t you look lovely in purple? She’s bringing the Avon files to a stressed out Cosgrove. He demands more underlings in order to look important. So, he cancels whatever meeting he’s supposed to have, as a power move. And he tells Joan to “make it go away.” I… thought Joan was a partner? Or has she been demoted to secretary? Again.

Don’s shaving on an airplane with an electric shaver, being all sorts of mod and meeting his sexy young wife in an even sexier sports car. It’s not possible for her dress to be any shorter, it just isn’t. They go to dinner with an agenty-type of sleazeball who says, “your girl is something,” and demands French champagne (is there any other kind? No really, is there?) from the waiter with a snap of his fingers. And yes, they are in California.

Joan takes Ken’s meeting with Butler Footwear. He wants to move all of their advertising in house, which means the agency is being fired. Joan at least buys a few days before the decision is final, so maybe she can fix it like she fixes everything.

Oh haha, Pete looks more ridiculous than usual! He’s too tan, he’s dressed like a preppy grad student headed from his yacht to a tennis lesson with a quick stop over at a hippie commune. He meets Don for breakfast, and it’s clear that Don has been out of the loop for quite some time. He flew out there to see his wife, not to get back to work. Don is still on the outs. I cannot stop staring at Pete’s plaid pants. They are insane. They are simultaneously tight and baggy, too high and too short. They’re just so perfectly Pete.

Why is Joan at a university? On a Saturday? To talk about Butler Shoes? She needs to brush up on her marketing speak and get an advertising research study from the business school in order to make a serious impression on Butler. Smart, Joan. Very smart.

Megan feels nervous “about everything,” so Don tells her, “don’t.” Problem solved!  He has to take the redeye back to New York the next day for work, so I guess it’s good that he’s working? Don meets a lovely lady widow on his flight back and admits that he is a terrible husband. Megan doesn’t exactly know that, but she has an idea, and he is a broken vessel, and the lovely lady widow offers to give him a lift to wherever. But Don has to get back to work, so the tryst never transpires.

Roger meets with his daughter for a fussy breakfast, and he worries that he is being ambushed. Likely for more money. She claims that she just wants to see him, and she forgives him. “I don’t even care that you smell like incense… I simply forgive you.” Ugh, he does look like he reeks of patchouli. With all forgiven, they eat their egg benedicts. When he stumbles back to his latest young lover that evening and whichever man is lying next to her, he just wants sleep.

Joan takes over Ken’s corner office to call the guy from Butler. He had agreed to give her a few days but set the “you’re fired” meeting anyway. Joan explains that taking the account in house is a bad move not just because of the numbers, but because the shoe business is in a steady decline anyhow and a bold move like that will be pinned on whomever made the decision to do it once it does not stop the bleeding. He listens, and how is it that Joan is smarter than everyone else on the planet?

Freddie brings lunch for Don at his apartment. Don doesn’t actually have a job to go back to. It’s been two months, and nobody has called. Freddie explains that he’s been there, and “you don’t want to be damaged goods.” He encourages Don to make a move.

Peggy is very alone.

Don is very alone.

Reprinted from HauteTalk.com

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Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

It’s the season finale for what turned into a darned good season if you enjoy betrayal, poor parenting, and Manhattan real estate. Finally, SC&P gets a logo, and it’s super classy inasmuch as it is reminiscent of The Price Is Right. The big question is, who gets to move to Los Angeles to handle the Sunkist account? The quick answer is, anyone but Stan.

Roger meets with his daughter and her husband, Brooks, who hit him up for cash. When Roger declines, she asks, “what do I have to do to get on the list of girls you give money to?” So low, but so true. After shooing his money-grubbing family away, he spies Bob Benson wooing Joan with gifts for Baby Kevin. Roger fumes with jealousy because, well, that’s his kid. Later, Roger calls Bob Benson into his office. “It occurred to me that you haven’t had a performance review.” But this isn’t any ordinary performance review as Roger uses it as an opportunity to dig into Bob over his relationship with Joan. He explains that playing with Joan’s feelings is not the way to go about showing Chevy that he’s a family man and comes just short of marking his territory the old-fashioned way. Fisticuffs. Why, what did you think I was talking about?

Ken Cosgrove arrives in Don’s office all smiles and eye patches. It’s Hershey’s. They asked the top thirty agencies to submit RFPs, and Ken is just excited that SC&P are considered a top thirty agency. Don tells him to get Hersey’s in the room and he’ll close the deal.

Jim tracks down Ted to let him know that the folks from Sheraton are in the lobby but Draper has gone AWOL. Again. Don has retreated to his old habits—a dark bar, where he is stewing and getting stewed. A pickled Don wakes up in the drunk tank. When he finally crawls back home, he fixes himself a drink while Megan demands an explanation in a fancy white negligee. “I spent the night in jail. I realized it’s gotten out of control. I’ve gotten out of control…I realized something else, too. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to move to California…I just can’t be in New York anymore. I want to move to L.A.” Megan gets all excited about the idea of Los Angeles and Hollywood. She doesn’t quite realize that Don would leave with or without her.

Pete sublet his sad little apartment and is now living at The Roosevelt until his final move to Detroit. He receives a telegram informing him that his mother fell off of a ship and is lost at sea. After making a few phone calls, Pete finds out that before being lost at sea, his mother married Manolo! He runs out of the office to track down Bob Benson, who casually asks, “How are you?” Pete responds,“NOT GREAT, BOB!” Pete tells Bob that if he wants to run he should do it now because he is an accessory to murder. Although Bob insists that he knew nothing about this and Manny would never hurt a fly, Pete isn’t buying it. But, they still have to make nice with the client, so they fly out to Detroit for a meeting. At the GM headquarters, Pete tries to cut Bob out of dinner plans. But the clients love him, and Bob is sticking to them like glue, so ditching Bob is proving more difficult than Pete expected. While looking at the new Camaros in the showroom, Bob goads Pete into taking one for a spin. Because Pete can barely even drive a car let alone a stick shift (which Bob may or may not have known), he backs the car into the building’s signage. Aside from the physical damage, it reveals that Pete is precisely the wrong person to handle the Chevy account.

Pete returns early from Detroit and learns that his mother is still missing. When Pete and his brother talk to a lawyer about what can be done to bring Manolo to justice and possibly, you know, find the remains, they realize that it would be prohibitively expensive. Like good WASPs, they soldier on and conclude, “Mother loved the sea.”

After watching Ted leave the office with his wife, Peggy arrives the next day with preparations—a very short black dress with a plunging neckline and boobs up to here, fishnet stockings, red lipstick, heels….Peggy walks into Ted’s office as he’s meeting with Jim and Harry Crane and announces that she’s leaving early because she has plans. Ted’s jaw may have hit the table on the way down to the floor, and Harry all but cracked an invisible whip while purring. When Peggy gets home after her date, she finds Ted standing outside of her door. She lets him in and tells him that her date was terrible. There’s yelling, there’s sexual tension, and Ted tells Peggy that he’s going to leave his wife. “Don’t say that, I’m not that girl,” she replies. But he loves her, and they kiss, and her dress falls off, and she finally is that girl.

Megan’s skirts are getting shorter and her hair is getting taller. She received a letter for Miss Sally Beth Draper c/o Mr. Donald F. Draper from the New York County District Attorney’s office. Sally has to give a statement regarding the burglar but refuses to cooperate. She says that she’s busy and Don should just go ahead and tell them what she saw. Ooh. Good one, Sally.

The next day, Betty calls Don to tell him that Sally has been suspended from Miss Porter’s for buying beer with a false ID and getting drunk. Well that was quick. Betty asks Don to pick her up because she can’t even imagine having to face her mother-in-law with Sally at Thanksgiving dinner. Betty’s roots are showing, and her façade of a perfect family is cracking, and Don agrees to drive up and get Sally because he knows that it is his own fault.

Ted stops by Don’s office to tell him that he wants to go to California, to start over. Don thinks it’s to start over with Peggy, but Ted explains that he needs to start over with his family. “It’s my only chance, Don. I’ve got kids. I can’t throw this away, I can’t go on like this.” But Don has his own problems and tells Ted that it’s too late because they’ve already writing Megan off of her show. He tells Ted that it’ll go away, but Ted knows that it’s not that easy to quit something cold turkey. And with that, Don pours himself a drink before the big Hershey’s presentation.

The presentation starts out in typical Don Draper fashion—Hershey’s is the currency of affection, it is the childhood symbol of love, blah blah blah. But then, something goes terribly wrong. Don’s hands are shaking. “I’m sorry, I have to say this. I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again. I was an orphan. I grew up in Pennsylvania, in a whorehouse.” Don tells the executives that he read about Milton Hershey in a magazine and how he dreamed of a different life there, of being wanted, and…what are you doing, Don? But he doesn’t stop. He talks about going through the John’s pockets while the prostitutes screwed them, and if he got more than a dollar, they’d buy him a Hershey’s bar which he would eat alone in his room. Why isn’t Roger stopping this? Then, the sobbing. After the meeting, Don tells Ted that he can be the one to start over in California, gets his things, and leaves.

Ted tells Peggy that he’s leaving, and she can stay here and have her career. He explains that he has a family and a life and has to hold onto them or he will get lost in the chaos. “I love you that deeply. I can’t be around you, and I can’t ruin all those lives.” She kicks him out of her office.

When Don tells Megan that they can’t go to California, she says that Don wants to be alone with his ex wife and screwed up kids, and that the train has already left the station with her meetings and agents. Don suggests being bicoastal, but we all know how that would turn out, including Megan, who walks out.

Wait, what? Pete’s moving to California, too? Maybe we just change the name of the agency to Sterling Cooper & California.

Sometimes, actions have consequences. Even for Don Draper. The partners call Don in for a meeting about his behavior. Roger says that it’s best for the firm and Don if he takes some time off. Don wants a return date, but Bert won’t give him one. Don walks out without a fight and runs into Duck and Lou Avery, a creative director from another agency, by the elevator. Replaced before he even left the building.

Knowing that he has nowhere else to go, Joan invites Roger over for Thanksgiving. Bob Benson is there. When Roger bristles at his presence, she explains that she is inviting Roger into Kevin’s life, not hers. He then has his first Thanksgiving with his new dysfunctional family, and it’s kind of sweet. Peggy, on the other hand, spends Thanksgiving in a tragic checkered pants suit, kicking her feet up on Don’s abandoned desk. Which I suppose is Peggy’s own dysfunctional family.

Speaking of which, Don brings all three of his kids to see the house he grew up in. It’s an abandoned shack, in a bad neighborhood, and for the first time, it looks like Sally Draper realizes that her father might just be human.

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Okay let’s just get right to the weird stuff. Ken Cosgrove is on a hunting trip in Detroit with two people from Chevy and…they pulled a Dick Cheney and shot him in the face!!! Only they really shot him in the face! It’s okay though, he’s alive. Eye patch and half a face full of lacerations, but alive. When he gets back to the office, he tells Pete that he hates Detroit, and he hates the executives at Chevy. He’s done and wants out. Pete sees an opportunity and asks Ken to back him up as his replacement on the Chevy account in exchange for Pete offering Ken his support in future endeavors.

Blonde Betty calls Don about Sally. She doesn’t want to visit her father ever again and wants to go away to a boarding school. Don immediately offers to pay for it, and Betty suggests Miss Porter’s School.

Don pours himself some orange juice with a splash of vodka from a flask that he pulls out of his suit jacket. Before the glass is even empty, he has an idea. Sunkist. Later that morning, Megan gets a call from Harry Crane and passes the phone to Don. He has good news—Sunkist is interested in television, which is two-and-a-half times the print budget. Don tells him to forget it because of the conflict and hangs up the phone, but I’m guessing Don has something up his sleeve. He then takes his lovely wife to see Rosemary’s Baby and runs into Peggy and Ted. Which is weird, awkward, and…weird and awkward.

The next week, Don and Roger give Ted and Jim some good news, and some bad news. The good news is, Sunkist wants to move forward with an 8 million dollar television ad buy, which is three times the business of Ocean Spray. The bad news is, they will have to resign from Ocean Spray in order to get the business. Jim is all over it, but Ted is less than thrilled. He is concerned about how it looks to dump a client once a shinier object comes along. But money is money, and Ted agrees with only a tiny twist of his arm. Oh, and Ted puts Peggy on the campaign. Because of her juice experience, naturally.

Pete is called into Bert Cooper’s office where he finds Bert, Roger, Jim, Ken, and…Bob Benson waiting for him. Ken backs up Pete to be his guy-on-the-ground replacement on the Chevy campaign, and says that Bob will be key to a smooth transition since he has been on the account since its inception. When Pete objects, Bob politely excuses himself. Jim tells Pete that he likes Bob, Chevy likes Bob, and if Pete doesn’t like Bob, they will find someone else who does. Detroit. How romantic! When Pete puts on a show of teamwork and shakes Bob’s hand after the meeting, he tells Bob that he doesn’t want to work with him because of the, you know, the whole professing his love thing. Bob clarifies that he was only professing his admiration, which is “waning quickly.”

Betty drives Sally to her interview at a boarding school, which Sally aces (in a very traditional blue and white plaid dress). She then has to spend the night in the dorm with two students who immediately demand booze and raid her suitcase. Because Sally doesn’t exactly keep a flask in her suit jacket, she comes up with a better idea and phones Glenn who climbs through the window in an army jacket covered in anti-war pins, a bottle of vodka, and his friend, Rolo, who brings the weed. Unfortunately for Sally, Glenn is more interested in another girl and leaves Sally alone with Rolo, who gets a little handsy. Sally then calls Glenn in from the other room to save her from Rolo and the boys end up beating the crap out of each other. Which of course impresses the girls, who deem Sally “trouble.” I have a feeling Sally just aced her second interview. On the car ride home, Betty lets Sally know that she got glowing reviews from the school, and treats her to a cigarette because she is quite possibly the worst television mother ever.

Pete is kind of clever and calls Duck for help getting rid of Bob Benson. He wants Duck to place Bob at another job, and Duck agrees to find Bob a new gig in exchange for a thousand bucks. We then get a quick shot of Bob speaking Spanish to someone on the phone (who I assume is Manolo but I hope is Sal) about what a bastard Pete is and blah blah blah. Then, Pete’s mother shows up at the office to retrieve her passport and says that Manolo does not like the way that Pete has been treating his friend, Bob Benson. Oh, Mother.

Don is not enjoying the chummy rapport between Ted and Peggy who are working together on the St. Joseph’s Aspirin campaign. To throw a wrench into the clockworks, Don lets St. Joseph’s know that Ted is way over budget. When Don asks Ted how he could have let the budget quadruple, Ted explains that the ad was Peggy’s idea, and it is sure to be a winner, and he wants Peggy to get her first CLIO award. Don then takes over the meeting with the client to sell them on the bigger budget by telling them that the campaign was the late Frank Gleeson’s last idea, and that Ted wanted to do the campaign out of sentimentality. Which is total malarkey, but it was what the client needed to hear in order to up the ad budget. And it completely undermined Peggy’s role in the campaign. Evil, but point, Don.

Duck did a little bit of digging on Bob Benson and lets Pete know that Bob’s resume might as well have been written in steam because nothing on it is true. And, when Duck checked his references, he learned that Bob disappeared from his last job with the ad agency’s Christmas card list.  So Bob’s only job prospects are with an agency “dumb enough not to ask any questions,” which I guess is Sterling Cooper & Partners. The next day, Pete confronts Bob, who asks for a day’s head start getting out of Dodge. Or Chevy. “It terrifies me what you could do in a day….Where you are and who you are is not my concern. I surrender. I want you to graciously accept my apologies, work along side me, but not too closely. I’m off limits. And please, could you find a way to get your friend out of my mother’s life.” Oh, wow. Brilliant? Or insane? Maybe a little of both, but whatever the case, it’s a very ballsy move, and Pete feels triumphant. But now I’m worried about Joan.

With an action-packed Monday winding down at Sterling Cooper & Partners, Peggy confronts Don. “I know what you did,” and she doesn’t just mean with the ad campaign. Don claims to just be “looking out for the agency,” but Peggy doesn’t believe it and calls him a monster. Don seems to know that she’s right, but a leopard can’t change its spots.

Next week is the season finale, and if the past two episodes are any indication, it’s going to be a doozy.

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Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Pete’s mother comes for a visit, with her new nurse, Manolo. Pete pawns her off on Peggy, who Pete’s mother mistakes for Trudy. In her fog, she says that it’s good that they reconciled for their child, which leaves Peggy shaken. Pete then tries to bribe Manolo to…I don’t know what, but I’m hoping it’s not what I’m thinking.

Peggy, Pete, and Ted are drunk after an out-of-town meeting with Ocean Spray. Pete figures out what’s going on with Peggy and Ted because, “I’ve seen that look,” and tells Peggy that Ted is in love with Peggy, too. Peggy then tells Pete about the strange conversation she had with Pete’s mother, but falls short of bringing up the baby.

Roger is waiting for Don in his office. Sterling Cooper & Co. is going to pitch Sunkist. Oranges. Good for drinking, eating, and juggling. Ocean Spray, Sunkist, conflict? Conflict. Ted yells at Don to “join this company and read a memo once in a while.” Jim tries to calm him down, but Ted is taking it very personally and asks Jim to “imagine every time Ginger Rogers jumped in the air, Fred Astaire punched her in the face.” And now that’s all I can think about, so thank you, Ted.

When Don gets home, he finds Megan talking to Sylvia’s son. He’s in trouble. He sent back his draft card early and got a 1-A classification, which means he will be the first to get drafted. He wants to run to Canada, but Don tells Megan, “He can’t spend the rest of his life on the run.” The next day, Don has a private conversation with Pete. He wants to know how to get a deferment, but Pete won’t help. Which, yeah. That was to be expected.

Later that evening, Ted and Don are entertaining the crew from Chevy, which means men in suits eating meat and drinking booze. Don brings up the war in the hopes that someone at the table can help his mistress’s son. The executives shut down the war talk real fast, and Ted saves the conversation with levity. The next morning, Ted accuses Don of trying to poison his relationship with Chevy. Don suggests that he was just taking their temperature, and would not have done it if it wasn’t important to him. Ted realizes that perhaps Don is a human being after all, and in exchange for Don dropping Sunkist, Ted agrees to call one of his contacts in the National Guard to try to get Mitchell one of those sweet, danger-free George W. Bush pilot gigs.  When Don calls Sylvia to tell her the good news, she asks, “Did you fix it?” Don just wants to be that man, yet it always seems to be with other peoples’ kids. Their conversation turns to their relationship. She didn’t want him to fall in love, and she wasn’t very good to him, and just like that, it’s back on.

Pete’s mother and Manolo arrive at Pete’s apartment, and Pete sends Manolo away so that the two of them can talk. Pete lets his mother know that Manolo is her nurse, but Pete’s mother is enjoying the male attention just a little too much. “Maddy has awakened a part of me that was long dormant.” When Pete threatens to let Manolo go, his mother tells him, “you were a sour little boy, and you are a sour little man.” And, yeah. That sums up Pete Campbell.

Sally Draper is in trouble because Betty finds out that she is only one of two girls on an overnight trip with a bunch of boys in Manhattan. Because Sally is clever, she diffuses the situation by saying that she will stay at Don’s apartment. Sally and her friend, Julie, arrive in the city and run into Mitchell in the lobby and swoon. That night, Sally and Julie make a list of “Things I Like About Mitchell.” Julie dares her to sneak downstairs to kiss him, and you can tell that Julei is nothing but trouble. The next morning, Megan is rushing to get the kids out the door but Sally is nowhere near ready.

When Sally finally gets dressed, it’s in a slick red and blue plaid mini dress with a red bow at the neck. Julie is looking slightly dorkier in a white dress with a spring green bow with Holly Hobby-esque sleeves.  The girls are in a cab on the way to whatever educational school event they used as an excuse to go to New York City, and Julie tells Sally that she slid a love letter from Sally to Mitchell under Mitchell’s back door. That earns a fairly impressive punch in the arm from Sally, who heads back to her father’s apartment. After talking the doorman out of his set of master keys, she listens at the door just like Don used to do. Oh no, oh no, oh no, don’t go in there…Sally spots the note on the kitchen counter and when she walks inside to retrieve it SHE SEES DON SCREWING SYLVIA!!! AND SHE DROPS THE KEYS ON THE LINOLEUM SO THEY SEE HER!!! ZOMG! Don pulls himself together in the elevator, but Sally is long gone in a cab. Don is, understandably, a mess. He doesn’t know which way to go—home? Work? Work, then home?

After spotting a rat in her apartment on the way to the office, Peggy comes home late one night to a trail of blood on the floor, and she hears the telltale squeaking and scratching sounds. She calls Stan and asks him to come over because there’s a “mortally wounded” rat in a trap under the couch. When he tells her that he isn’t the boyfriend so it isn’t his problem, Peggy tries to lure him over with the promise of sex. But Stan has a real live woman with him in bed, plus he doesn’t believe that Peggy is serious about the rat-induced booty call.

Pete calls Bob Benson into his office to yell at him for recommending Manolo The Rapist as a caretaker for his mother. Bob tells Pete that Manolo’s interests aren’t with women, which repulses Pete. But Bob wants to know if his mother seemed happy. And if she’s happy, then what’s the problem? “Couldn’t it be, if someone took care of you, very good care of you, if this person would do anything for you, if his well being was your only thought, is it possible that you might begin to feel something for him. When there’s true love, does it matter who it is?” And with that, Bob Benson all but confesses his love for Pete which, really? Pete? Nobody loves Pete. Even his own mother doesn’t love him. But there it is, their knees touch, and Pete moves his away. “Tell Manolo I will give him a month’s pay, and tell him it’s disgusting.” Bob leaves, and Pete looks like he wants to take a Silkwood shower.

When Pete gets home that night, he pours himself the remnants of a box of Raisin Bran. Aw, Peggy got an orange cat, to kill the giant rat. And Ted goes home to his wife and two kids. Don, however, is less sure about what he will find at home. By all appearances, it’s a happy family. But Sally looks nauseous. She clearly has not told anyone, even Julie. Then, Arnold and Mitchell stop by so that Mitchell can thank Don. Sally finally has her anticipated outburst, “You make me sick!” Don goes to talk to her, but the door is locked. He speaks quietly through the door, the only lies he can muster, “I know you think you saw something, I was, comforting Mrs. Rosen, she was very upset, it’s very, complicated.”  But Sally knows what she saw, and it’s just a matter of time before she decides who she will tell. My guess? Betty.

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Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

At a partners’ meeting, everyone is sick of the full company name but nobody has an amenable solution except for Don, who suggests getting a bigger front door. Roger and Don bolt out of the meeting to catch a flight to Los Angeles where they will meet with the people from Carnation Instant Breakfast. Roger warns Don about being too folksy. They’re real Madison Avenue ad men, and ad men are expected to be slick and glib. Well, someone forgot to tell Harry Crane, who meets them at the hotel looking like a cartoon of a Hollywood executive.

Back at the office, the creatives are supposed to be working on the Manischewitz campaign, but the young men are agitated about the war. Ginsberg starts ranting about fascists and Nazis to his new boss, Jim Cutler. Jim speaks to Ted about the outburst and suggests that they clean house of all Sterling Cooper people while Don is away on business, but Ted nixes the idea. So Jim takes matters into his own hands and tells Bob Benson that he and Ginsberg will be giving the Manischewitz presentation without him, and good luck with that, Bob.

Joan, in a lovely and flattering flowered dress, meets with Andy Haze, the head of marketing at Avon. She thought it was a date, but it quickly turned into a meeting. He wants her to pitch the agency, and it’s the first time anyone has ever asked her to do more than paperwork. She speaks about media placement, and “finding your customers in places you didn’t think to look.” Joan explains that her job is finding solutions to problems before they become problems.

When she gets back to the office, she asks Peggy for advice on how to reel in the client. Peggy brings Joan to Ted, and Ted passes her off to Pete. Pete then tries to cut Joan out of the next meeting, which does not sit well with Joan. Silly Pete, never cross Joan. Or the streams. Joan shows up to the Avon meeting with Peggy but without Pete. She talks up Peggy’s experience with Clearasil, Ponds, and Belle Jolie. Andy explains that sales are flat because women aren’t home for house calls and hippies don’t wear makeup. Peggy’s pitch is not as smooth as Don’s, but it’s not awful, either. Afterwards, Joan is pissed at Peggy because Peggy feels that Joan just threw away the account. Joan explains that in the end it’s about who has the relationship with the client, and she had to make sure that it was her and not them.

Roger and Don’s meeting with Carnation is over before it even begins when Roger starts talking politics. Faux pas, Roger. Plus, Carnation is concerned about a conflict with Life Cereal. Add on top of that, the time difference between California and New York means their office will never be available when needed. With the meeting out of the way, Roger puts on his best Hugh Hefner outfit and goes to a Hollywood party with Harry and Don. Harry explains there is a different protocol in Hollywood, and suggests letting him make the introductions because “they don’t take business cards.” You know who else is at the party? Danny, that very short man who used to be related to Roger and worked at the agency for approximately one day. He seems to have done nicely for himself, with a tall lithe lady named Lotus on his arm. Don wanders into the house and settles in with a hash pipe while Roger tries to impress Lotus with his vast LSD experience. Danny then tries to collect his woman from Roger’s side and, after one too many short zingers from Roger, punches Roger in the nuts.

The party is going much better for Don, who has his lips all over a lovely blonde. Then in walks someone who looks like Megan but is probably just a byproduct of Don’s hash haze. She’s blathering on about quitting her job and moving to Los Angeles because she can’t bear to be apart from him and oh, also? She’s pregnant. Of course it’s not really Megan, and Don follows one ghost to another—it’s a man in uniform who is probably Dick Whitman. Then, Don is face down in the swimming pool, and it’s Roger to the rescue.

Bob Benson gets called into the creative department. Ginsberg is sick and can’t go to the meeting. Or, Ginsberg won’t go to the meeting. It’s hard to tell. He’s having a major meltdown, and Benson tries to talk him back into reality. With Ginsberg talking about transmissions in his head, I’m wondering what type of medication Ginsberg needs that has not yet been invented. He eventually gets Ginsberg to the meeting, but it doesn’t matter. There was no saving the account. The Manischewitz meeting was a courtesy, and they barely listened to the presentation. When Ted finds out, he’s angry with Jim for skipping out on the meeting and thinks that Jim intentionally lost a Sterling Cooper account to further split the agency.

Pete asks to see Joan in the conference room about a box of samples that Avon sent over to the girls. He demands to know what’s going on, and when Joan tries to calm him down by saying that the important thing is that the new client is happy, Pete resorts to his usual, “Oh I bet you’re making him very happy.” Oh, Pete. Never get into a war of words with Joan. She lets Pete know that, “it’s better than being screwed by you.” Peggy shows up, and Pete brings in Ted as backup. Ted excuses Peggy who listens in from Joan’s office on the other side of the wall. When things get ugly, Peggy sends Meredith into the conference room with a phone message that Andrew Haze from Avon is on the phone for Joan. When Joan goes into her office, she sees that Peggy saved her. Maybe now Joan will finally realize that she and Peggy are on the same team.

Don and Roger return from Los Angeles and Pete immediately pounces to rat out Joan. But Pete is upstaged by Ted, who announces that they have finally received approval from Chevy on a concept, and Joan is on the verge of reeling in Avon. Then, Ted and Jim propose calling the agency Sterling Cooper and Partners so that both sides get equally screwed. SC&P. Well, it’s certainly better than SCDPCG&C. After having his thunder stolen, Pete wanders into the creative department and bogarts a joint.

Next week, Don pours a drink, Megan wears amazing red pants, and Peggy is in a tragic green suit.

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