Reprinted with permission from www.hautetalk.com

Heidi arrives on the runway with a duck. She doesn’t explain her new feathered friend, but instead sends the designers back to the workroom, where they are confronted with miles and miles of Duck brand duct tape.

The challenge is to create a prom dress out of duct tape in less than one day that will be voted on by a gaggle of sixteen-year-olds. Well, their votes only matter a little. Everyone is working in teams of two because teams make contestants happy, and they will collaborate on one outfit. Since Stanley won the last challenge, he gets to pick his teammate first. The teams are:

• Stanley/Layana
• Kate/TuTu
• Polka Dots/Amanda
• Richard/Hallmarq
• Wind Chime/Samantha

Apparently modern duct tape isn’t just that unruly silver goop ring holding the bumper onto your 1978 Chevy. The workroom is overflowing with rolls and rolls of different colors and patterns, yet Hallmarq totally bogarts every last roll of gold tape so that he and Richard can make something that Beyonce or Rihanna would wear. Other teams are pissed that they’re hogging all the precious gold. My precious!!! Tricksy contestants takes all the gold rings!

Stanley and Layana are creating a black-and-white zebra print dress that lacks pop. Wind Chime is making Samantha very nervous. When Tim arrives, the designers look like a herd of deer in the headlights. Richard and Hallmarq’s dress looks like a baked potato, so they switch it up and are now creating a gold sexy dress that gets a “wow” from Tim Gunn. Amanda and Polka Dots create a giant houndstooth print for a punk rock prom dress that looks cool, but is taking forever. TuTu and Kate are crafting a basic blue dress that puts Tim to sleep.

That night, the contestants have a fashion show for the teens in a high school gym. There are a lot of questions about wrinkling tape and how you sew a zipper into a tape dress, and all of the teens have pretty strong opinions.

Runway time! Heidi brings the contestants the vote count from the teens. Surprisingly, Wind Chime and Samantha get the most votes from the students. Kids these days, amirite? Our judges this week are Zac Posen Kors, Nina Garcia, and fashion designer Chris Benz. Bring out the models!

Polka Dots and Amanda’s dress is a good runway look with its sharp angles, bright color, and swishy movement. Stanley and Layana created a cartoon of a dress with an exaggerated pink bow that I might consider wearing to a cartoon prom. Richard and Hallmarq made the dictionary definition of a prom dress if that dictionary was printed in 1984, but kudos to them for making duct tape look like leather. TuTu and Kate’s blue prom-y prom prom I’m going to prom, y’all! dress is such a snore. Wind Chime and Samantha’s dress is…different? I guess it’s kind of cool, but maybe too cool? Yes, that’s it. The dress is too cool for school.

It’s time to face the judges. Wind Chime and Samantha explain the complex gradient design they created out of tape. Heidi loves it, and Nina calls it Faaaaaabulous! I don’t know. It looks like a globby craft project to me. Kate and TuTu try to talk their way around their blah nothing. It’s called square, not fun, matronly, cliché, and oooooold fashioned. Stanley and Layana explain their cartoon thoughts, and Nina loves it. Polka Dots and Amanda confess that they set out to design a dress for the bad influence in the class. Mission accomplished, ladies. Last but not least, the judges have a field day with Hallmarq and Richard’s solid gold catastrophe. Heidi calls it dated, Zac Posen Kors has a problem with the details on the design, and Nina calls it a train wreck.

In the end, the judges give the win to the team of Polka Dots and Amanda, and Polka Dots gets the crown. Wind Chime and Samantha are close behind and are also sent to the back with Stanley and Layana. Hallmarq and Richard get a little more scolding before joining their fellow contestants.

So now it’s between Kate and TuTu. The judges don’t know who TuTu is as a designer and send him home. And then, just because the dress was really and truly terrible, the judges send Kate home as well. Huh. Didn’t see that coming.

Next week, the clients and models are the greasy, bulging men from Thunder from Down Under. Wow. It’s almost like Lifetime is pandering to its core viewing audience of middle-aged women from landlocked states.