Oh thank gawd LuLu Johnson, layabout and moocher offer of mother and designer Betsey Johnson, is alright. She happened to be in LAX when a shooter started shooting, but don’t panic! She’s okay! Sort of. She needs help, people! I mean look at that carpeting she’s lying on, it’s what, negative twelve thread count? And I’ll bet the line at Starbucks is so long that her assistant won’t be back with her venti no foam skinny iced chai latte for at least a half hour. Won’t someone think of the (D-list) celebrities?

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