The ladies’ first journey outside of the hotel is for food. Betsey and LuLu are confused by the eating habits in Japan—silence, except for the noodles.Finally, shopping. I’m not sure why they don’t have a tour guide, but eventually they find their way to Harajuku where Betsey touches everyone’s hair and clothes. Betsey tries on everything and buys not much of anything, but she’s got it all up here [taps head] and “can’t wait to get back to New York and do the Betseyfied Harajuku look.” But LuLu’s bored because none of this is her thing. She’s a little more conservative, and “grown up, if you will?”

To pacify LuLu, they go to the Fifth Avenue of Tokyo to shop for very, very overpriced vintage. Betsey finds a few of her own pieces on the racks and LuLu sulks and is “kind of bummed out” because it’s never, ever about LuLu.Next, it’s Betsey’s activity—dress up like a geisha. Betsey never stops talking, and it’s driving LuLu nuts. Which is fun to watch. Then, Betsey looks in the mirror and says she looks like “a little China doll,” which, yeah.

Meanwhile, LuLu is bored and whiney because it’s still all about Betsey. Then, LuLu takes the opportunity to tell her mother who is currently taking her on vacation that she needs her own space.It’s time for another meal, and this time LuLu yells, “oh my God, it’s f**cking alive!” at a plate of fish. Betsey flicks it at her, LuLu climbs on the table to get away, and now I feel the need to apologize to all of Japan for…something. Someone must have taken charge of the situation because the fish is removed and replaced with white wine, which Betsey proceeds to fill with ice cubes.

LuLu then takes the opportunity to tell her mother how horrible it is to be in such close proximity to her all the time. You see, LuLu is trying to create a life for herself, and there’s Betsey. Every time LuLu tries to “establish independence,” Betsey doesn’t let her go. Huh. I wonder how Betsey’s Amex card feels about all of that established independence. And then, LuLu drops a bomb—one of them has to move out of the building…and LuLu doesn’t want to move. So Betsey should move out of the building in which she purchased an apartment for LuLu. It’s all Betsey’s fault for giving LuLu money! What a terrible, horrible parent, giving her daughter everything. I mean, what’s a girl to do? LuLu practically had no chance of growing up to be a smart, independent woman what with all of that help and support. Someone call Child Protective Services!

After the fight, Betsey and LuLu bring their bad vibes to a shrine. They write wishes on a piece of paper as a present to the shrine. LuLu wishes for tremendous luck for her children, and for success with “my LuLu Johnson line.” Betsey wishes for a happy family life for LuLu.

And that’s all. XOX Betsey Johnson is over. It was a bumpy, pointless ride, but it was fun to make fun of, so here’s hoping for a second season!