Rachel Zoe is frustrated that her sequined maxi skirts didn’t sell in the United States, so she goes to Paris and tries to pawn them off on Europeans. Her husband, Roger, has red dots all over his body. Does he have bedbugs? I hope he has bedbugs. Or, as they say in Paris, le cooties. 

Rachel stumbles upon her toddler in a park and takes him on a carousel. These are all things Rachel Zoe says while on the carousel:

• OMG. OMG I’m going up and down.
• OMG, I’m going to die, get me off of it.
• OMG, OMG, can someone make this stop?
• OMG. There are so many germs on this thing.
• Carousel man, can we stop? I’m literally dying.

Rachel then causes chaos within her own company when she tells her minions that they need to send her more maxi skirts, which are like regular skirts only “to the max.” She wants them packed up and shipped to her in Paris yesterday, which she thinks is possible because of the difference in time zones. I’m a little unclear on why this task is so stressful. It’s literally putting dresses in garment bags and placing those bags in a box.

Speaking of minions, there is a weird, whiny little man in charge of painting Rachel’s face onto her skull. She calls him Joey, like a baby kangaroo. His job is awful.

Rachel Zoe strung together a medley of words about Paris fashion week:

• Every time I go to a Valentino show, I get kind of emotional.
• Going to a Chanel show, for me, every time is like the first time.
• The femininity, the youthfulness, the richness.
• I love tiaras, I wear them all day on my birthday.
• I think if you don’t stand for what you believe in, nobody believes you.
• Well it’s Montaigne Market. If you don’t come here, you come nowhere.

Next week, Rachel tries to figure out how to fit all of her maxi dresses into one Manhattan apartment.

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