Oh I see, it’s a little like Escape From New York. Leela and Fry realize they’re wearing the wrong gang colors so Leela takes off her top….and turns her shirt inside out. Only she screwed up, and Fry finally finds out if he’d crap his pants if someone stuck a gun in his face. Somehow the Blips and Cruds make peace, and then not so much, and everyone shoots themselves in the face with the bent gun barrels.

Meanwhile, Bender got botjacked. They stole everything but his mouth and eyes. Luckily Herme had a rojack installed. It leads to a chop shop, where they find Bender’s head. The rest of the parts were sold, and the crew is left with only a list of buyers. The first stop is a sex shop. Naturally, it’s Bender’s antenna. But it was already sold to a senator. He’s through with it because it has already done everything and everyone imaginable. Then, a college dorm where Bender’s body is being used as a keg. Once it’s empty, he’s 40% back. Robot arms in a casino, where an extra pair of arms come in handy. Timmy gets a double leg transplant. “No more crutch or withered leg, someone’s sure to adopt me now!” Yeah, Bender takes his legs back. But he’s still missing his ass, which shipped out on a freighter on a ship that sank in a spacestorm. “My ass is my soulmate, it even has its own hindbrain.” Bender has a lot of tuchus pride.

Leela, Fry and Bender go in search of Bender’s ass and get caught up in some interstellar fog. They smash into a lighthouse. “Are ye hurt?” “No, but we could use a hug.” The guy who runs the lighthouse makes a living salvaging whatever washes ashore, and he once got an entire Blue Man Group. He’s willing to help find Bender’s ass for a cut of the booty, which means “a percentage of the value of the recovered goods.”

The booty call is at daybreak, at which time the crew goes on an underseaspace mission to find the shipwreck. Bender recovers his beloved ass, and just in time because a storm is a brewin’. Fry takes pictures of Bender biting his own shiny ass, and the flash from the camera alerts another ship, the Muy Caliente, that the lighthouse is in their bath. Because Bender’s shiny ass saves the day, the lighthouse guy convinces Bender to leave it behind so that it can alert other ships. Bender’s ass, which has been named Assie, has a destiny, and Bender cannot stand in its way. He finds solace in the knowledge that somewhere out there, Assy is doing good.  Sort of. Assie spins out of control, saves a kid from a gravity well, and returns to Bender. “Assie? You came back to me!” Aww.

Images via The Infosphere